To Be Forever Faithful
by Ponytail Goddess
Summary: When Belegwen, the only female warden in Lorien, becomes Second in Command, Haldir finds himself falling unexpectedly in love with her. However, war, rules, and fear separate them from acknowledging their true feelings. Can they overcome it all?
1. Chapter 1: A Long Night

Hello! Welcome to my fanfic entitled To Be Forever Faithful! This will be my first Lord of the Rings fic, but I will try my hardest to deliver the story. I came up with the idea just today and found that I could wait no longer! I must start! Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with it. I only write these fanfics for fun and I do not intend to make any money off of them._

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 1: A Long Night

Night. The Lothlorein forest was filled with dark shadows. However, there was one elf who did not pay these shadows any heed. There were very few things that scared Haldir, and creatures of the night were not included amongst them.

In fact, there were only two things that really scared Haldir. Love and death. And tonight of all nights, he had seen death take the spirit of one of his wardens right off this very Earth.

Orcs. They had surrounded Curudae and had ambushed him. Why Curudae had wandered away from Haldir's group was still a mystery. However, they had heard his screams, but come to late. He had been slain. The picture was all too vivid in Haldir's mind. There had been blood, so much blood... It had seeped out of his head, dark and thick. He could still smell the stench of Eldarin blood mixed with that of an Orc.

His men had still found the will to slaughter the remaining Orcs. However, now that it was time for his own break, Haldir couldn't get the picture of Curudae out of his head.

In fact, Haldir could think of nothing else as he stormed up the stairway to his small room. He pushed his door open and entered, but just stood in the doorway, looking in. There was a bed made for a single occupant, wrapped in soft, cream-colored sheets. To his left was a small rack, which held a massive amount of armor and a few pairs of normal clothes that were seldom ever worn. That was the extent of his room, excluding the large mirror and a few souvenirs he had acquired during a few travels.

"Curudae shall never walk this way again..." Haldir thought, then finally found the strength to walk in front of the mirror and look at himself.

He saw that he looked very weary, which was exactly how he felt. He reached up and wiped some Orc blood from his cheek. Putrid little beasts.

Then, blocking all thoughts of death and Curudae out of his head as best as he could, he started to strip off his armor. It felt great to get the sticky pieces off his back and feel the cool, night air caress it.

He quickly collected his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in," he replied, rather annoyed that one of his men had come to him during his time off.

Haldir was very surprised to see that it was Belegwen who had opened the door. Thankfully, he had not removed his pants yet. He still had not expected the only female warden of Lothlorien to enter while he was half naked. She appeared to have the same reaction for an instant, then snapped back to attention, ignoring his nudity and becoming the serious warden that she was trained to be.

"Commander, I have an urgent message from Lord Celeborn. He wishes to see you immediately, sir," she said, sounding just as fatigued as he felt inwardly.

Quickly recovering from his own embarrassment, Haldir replied, "Very well then. Tell him that I will be there momentarily."

"Yes, sir," she said and then marched out of the room to go relay the message to Celeborn. He sighed as she exited. Never during all of his life had he ever met a female guard member until she had come along. He was honestly surprised she had made it so far. When her parents had been slain mysteriously, Belegwen had begged to be trained for the guard. It took years of begging, but finally when Belegwen was of age, Lady Galadriel had decided that it was a worthy cause. Everything had gone quite well and Belegwen had quickly risen through the ranks during her millennia of service.

Haldir sighed. The elven wardens had not taken to her presence all that well. Even now, there was still an awkwardness surrounding her presence in the guard. However, Belegwen had never made a mistake, so there was no reason to request her removal.

She was there to stay, no matter what others thought of it.

In a slow, exhausted manner, Haldir somehow managed to get his armor back on and made his way though the city and up the grand staircase to the Lord and Lady's dwelling. Celeborn was there awaiting his arrival, facing away from him.

"You wished to see me Lord Celeborn," Haldir said calmly as he bowed down, making the old Eldarin lord aware of his presence. There was a measure of unease lingering around the elderly lord, which unsettled Haldir as he waited silently for his words.

"How did this happen?" Celeborn finally asked, his tone so low it could almost be called a whisper.

Haldir found himself to be speechless at this point. He should have known that Celeborn would want to know all of the intricate details surrounding the incident.

"My lord, let me explain-"

Celeborn slowly turned around, and stared into Haldir's eyes. "A great tragedy has befallen tonight. Tell me, Haldir, why was this warden not at his post?"

Haldir felt a pang of guilt pass through himself as he stared into the eyes of an elf he respected greatly. "I know not, sir."

Celeborn, looking greatly saddened, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. His eyes seemed to dig into Haldir's very soul. Wearily, he said, "Haldir, it is your job to defend us all; to keep your wardens and your city safe. More care must be taken. This cannot happen again."

"Yes, sir."

"And now we shall need a new second in command since Curudae has...fallen."

"I shall see to it immediately, sir," Haldir replied, immediately starting to think over the possibilities.

"You think much too hard, my Marchwarden. Do you not know the answer to your mental inquiry? She whom you have spoken to on this night, would do a fine job," came a voice from behind them. They both turned to see Galadriel floating down the stairs; the room filled with a quiet glow of calmness and serenity that often accompanied her presence.

"You speak of Belegwen, my lady?"

"She has been part of the guard for millennia now, much like you, my Marchwarden. While she will not find immediate approval among our ranks, her presence and leadership would greatly benefit many."

Slowly she walked up to Haldir and looked him straight in the eyes. "Do consider her, Haldir. You are now dismissed," she said, a mysterious smile touching the corners of her face.

Clearly, she knew more than she was letting on.

Slowly, Haldir turned and walked away, uncertain about the lady's suggestion. While Belegwen had the skills to do the job correctly, Haldir was uncertain as to whether or not her could work harmoniously with her. He was even more uncertain of what the other wardens' reactions would be to such an appointment.

But still, the lady had suggested her. That suggestion could not be taken lightly, as Galadriel never spoke without reason.

"I am to blame for this situation...and for Curudae's death," he thought as he entered his room and stripped off his armor one more time. Putting on a robe, he strolled down to bathe before he slept.

ooOoo

Chapter edited on 01/21/10 by P.G.

**Important note to both old and new readers: **

Thanks for coming to read TBFF! Just a quick note—if you're reading through this entire fic again or for the first time, you have my sincerest apologies, as many of my chapter dividers have disappeared. This site is no longer allowing strings of letters that long and so, all of the different character's perspectives are running together now in all of the chapters, except for the ones in the middle of the fic that I did not get around to editing in 2007. I'm in the process of fixing it, but it's going to be a while, so please bear with me. The fic is still quite readable, just know that if the perspective seems a bit off, it is probably coming from a different character. Thanks for reading--I hope you enjoy this fic.

-P.G.


	2. Chapter 2: Second in Command

Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and/or read my fic. I'm glad that everyone likes the beginning. I'm sorry about the rating change. When I registered the story, I forgot to change it from G. This is rated PG-13 as of now, but that might be subject to change. It may go up to R, depending on how explicate I decide to make the content. But, yippee! The more I think about this fic, the more excited I get! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything that belongs to Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 2: Second in Command

Haldir slid into the water and immediately fell into a state of relaxation. The steaming water cleared his mind instantly. The large bath that was at the bottom of the mallorn tree which housed the warden's talans; it was one of his few escapes from the world of the guard. He could just be himself for about ten or fifteen minutes. Yes, the bath was wonderful indeed.

"If only I could stay here longer," he thought to himself. Alas, he could was business that he needed to deal with as well as a line of elves waiting to get clean as well.

As he rolled his bar of soap against his body, he pondered the benefits of having Belegwen as his second. How would she react to certain situations that require the skills and knowledge of the second in command? Did she have these skills and was she bold enough to use them?

Though he hated to admit it, she probably did. And the Lady of Light knew she did as well.

"But she is not the only one; Heledhril and Erthalion would both be suitable as well,"he thought stubbornly, wishing he could pick an elf for the job instead of an elleth.

However, Belegwen had been recommended by Galadriel, the Lady of Light. Naturally, that was important. Galadriel would not have proposed an idea unless she wished for it to be set into motion. Because of this, Belegwen practically already had the position without even knowing about it.

Haldir sighed as he got out of the bath. It had been ruined for him because he had been plagued by thoughts of the guard.

Silently, he dried off in the slightly dim, magical light. His eyes suddenly widened with realization. "If Curudae had made it, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem."

Haldir's eyes scrunched up as he put on a clean robe. He gritted his teeth as the aching pain of loss returned to his heart. For nearly an hour, he had went without thinking about the situation. Now though, the agony of Curudae's death had returned and it sickened him.

"It was all my fault," he thought, showering himself in the blame he thought he deserved. "How could I have missed it? Why did I not notice he was gone from his post?"

These thoughts continued to haunt him as he shoved his dirty clothes down the chute. There, the elven maids would wash them and transport them back to his room. "If only I had been a bit faster... Had I only made sure he was at his station..."

Standing in front of the door, Haldir quickly composed himself, blinking away the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. His men could not see him like this. They needed to see his strength, not his weaknesses. Besides, tears could never truly solve a predicament. He had to be strong and see this through to the end.

Becoming his solid, warden persona again, he swiftly exited the bath and stormed up to his own personal talan again. However, he found himself stopped in front of his room as he thought back to the newly open warden position. He looked down the hall to the last door.

That was Belegwen's room. It was exactly six doors down from his own. _"I could discuss it with her now."_

Though Haldir was tired, he knew he would not be able to sleep for a while anyway; not with the negative thoughts that were nagging at him with every moment that he inhaled. Quickly, he entered his room and put away his belongings before walking up the lighted, black marble hall to her door. He softly knocked upon her door.

"Come in," a muffled voice replied. Cautiously, Haldir opened the door, not exactly knowing what to expect in the elleth's room.

Haldir let out the breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding. The room was exactly like his and all the other elves'.

The first thing he noticed as he entered was that she had obviously not showered yet. The musty smell of sweat permeated through the entire room. While it was nothing in comparison to that of the Edain, it still repulsed him. Elleths were not supposed to smell like that. They were supposed to smell like flowers and nice things. "How can she bear it," he wondered to himself as his eyes drifted to her soiled armor that had been sloppily tossed upon the floor.

Belegwen herself stood in front of her mirror trying to undo her hair, which appeared to be in a few braids that were poorly woven. Condensation was quite visible in her silver hair, making it appear somewhat dark even in the magical blue light. Her robe was did not fit her well, as it had been intended for an elf's use. The rope was wrapped around her waist twice so that the ends would not drag on the ground.

She looked in the mirror to see who had come in behind her. Her eyes enlarged when she saw him and she ungracefully whipped around to face him. Yanking the hairpins out of her mouth and hiding them behind her back, she stood in front of him and looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

Now that he was here though, no words came to Haldir's mouth. This elleth was obviously an embarrassment to all of Lothlorien, having chosen to take up the life of an elf for no apparent reason. This was not how Eldarin society was supposed to work!

Finally, she spoke up. "Commander, what brings you here?"

"I have an offer for you, warden," he stated, regretting that he had to tell her about the new position.

"Yes?" she replied, a curious look appearing upon her face.

Mentally, Haldir had to keep reminding himself that the Lady of Light wanted her for the job as he continued. "Because Curudae has met his fate, we are in need of someone to be second in command. You have been with this guard for over a millenium now and have proven yourself to be loyal. I have come here to ask if you would consider taking this post."

She stared at him for a moment, then replied, "I shall consider it with great honor, commander. Tell me, what responsibilities are involved with this post?" she asked as she turned around so that she was facing the mirror again; immediately, she started yanking more pins out of her sloppy tresses.

He watched as her long hair slowly started to fall from its place atop her head. It was rather unusual for someone in the guard to have hair so long. However, Haldir barely spared it a thought. "Meet me at breakfast tomorrow and I will tell you all you need to know about the responsibilities."

"Yes, sir," she replied as she turned around to face him again, her hair floating messily behind her. "I shall meet you in the morning, sir."

The two then both exited the room. Haldir entered his room and Belegwen rushed down the stairs towards the bath.

Once in his room, Haldir sighed. Would it even be possible to work with this elleth? Doubt filled his mind. Had the Lady of Light chosen the wrong person for the job? What if it did not work out?

"I cannot believe I got myself into this," he thought as he slowly got into his bed and shut his eyes, dreading the new day that awaited him.

ooOoo

Well, did you like it? Please review. Thanks. I think the next chapter will be from Belegwen's p.o.v. I can't wait!

FAVOR: Sorry about this, but I need to ask a favor of my reviewers. See, I am really new to the LotR fandom, and I have no idea about what the term "Mary-Sue" means. Yeah, laugh at me; I don't care. Anyhow, if someone would tell me about it, I would be forever grateful. Thanks!

ooOoo

Chapter edited on 01/21/10.

-P.G.


	3. Chapter 3: A Restless Mind

Hello and welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. A big thanks goes out to those of you who gave me Mary-Sue definitions. I plan on doing this fic exactly how I want to; don't worry. Curiosity was just getting the better of me. Thanks again. Enjoy this new chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 3: Restless Mind

Belegwen silently descended the smooth, black marble steps into the corridor which contained the bath. She could hear jovial merriment coming from the line of elves who were waiting for their turns. However, as she entered the room and got into line, all the occupants became eerily quiet and many sets of eyes landed upon her. Not saying a word, she gently sat down on a bench to wait for her turn.

She hated how everything became awkward in her presence. Why could they not continue what they were doing without noticing her arrival? Why could they not ignore her? That would be much better than the reaction she got from them now.

Mentally, she sighed. After working for an entire fortnight, she found herself utterly exhausted. Wrapped within the silence of the dimly lit room, she started to fade into reverie, as she had nothing better to do.

"Pst," she heard. The voice sounded distant as she slowly came out of her dream, suddenly aware that someone was shaking her. Belegwen's eyes snapped out of reverie and she came face to face with an elf who she was unfamiliar with.

The ellon smiled at her. "It is your turn."

Belegwen's eyes quickly shot around the room. The room which had over fifteen elves in it when she entered was now surprisingly empty. "Oh... Thank you," she told him, feeling a bit embarrassed that she had fallen asleep while waiting for the bath.

Gingerly, she clutched her belongings and entered the door to the bath after the other elf left the room. "Hopefully, I did not embarrass myself while I was resting," she thought to herself as she shut the door behind.

Her footsteps were silent as she brought her soap to the edge of the bath. Her robe slid off her body easily and she slipped into the water without making a sound. Slowly, she dunked her head into the water and came back up, water droplets making the softest of noises as they rolled off her.

Her mind emptied as she reached for the soap and started to clean herself. "Second in command," she thought to herself, then sighed and wrinkled her nose slightly. "Why has he chosen me?"

Belegwen had never really done anything special during her career in the guard. In fact, the only thing that separated her from other soldiers, other than her gender, was her knowledge of the common tongue. However, there were others who could surely do the job just as well, if not better than herself. "So, why me?"

Not being able to come up with an intelligent answer, she tried to drop the topic completely; unfortunately, she then found it impossible to think of anything else. "Second in command. I wonder what my parents would have thought of all this..."

A small smile snuck onto her face as she tried to picture her parents again. She knew they would not have approved, the same as every other elf and elleth in the city. According to them, elleths were made to marry elves and make elflings, not to fight for the protection of a forest.

She looked into the mirrors which covered almost all of the bath's walls. Yes, there were times when she envied those elleths. Belegwen had never truly been all that graceful or beautiful. Now there was no chance of beauty at all, for her body carried with it a sampling of little reminders from her many skirmishes: scars. The largest was from a sharp sword blade and extended from her right shoulder, down her back diagonally to her waist. She cringed as she remembered the pain which had resulted from the blow to her back.

She had been advised to retire from the guard after that. The highest ranking members of the guard had thought that since she had felt real pain, she would want to go and be an elleth again.

How incredibly wrong they were.

At least as a warden, she could think for herself. She had no husband to tell her what to do, nor did she have children to look after. She did as she pleased in her spare time and truly enjoyed herself.

Tired out, she slowly trod out of the water and grabbed her towel, drying herself off slowly. There was no rush, for there was nobody else waiting in line. "Perhaps I should go last more often," she thought to herself as she wiped the last of the clear beads of liquid from her body.

Carefully tying her clean robe so that it would stay on, she rolled her soiled items into a ball and sent them down the laundry chute. Grabbing up the remainder of her possessions, she exited the bath soundlessly. A soft tune lingered in her mind and her lips hummed it quietly as she walked.

In no particular hurry, Belegwen ascended the stairs up to her room. There were some interesting noises coming from one of the occupied rooms. She listened in as she passed it by. "And she thrashed; I swear it is true!"

"It is not! You could not make a woman react like that!"

This was followed by a carol of laughter which made Belegwen frown."Elves...," she thought with exasperation as she continued her climb in silence. Belegwen was often appalled by the behavior of the wardens she worked around, especially by those who did not have wives. Some insisted that they had charmed many Edain women and had their way with them. Perhaps some of them did; Belegwen did not know if it was the truth or if it was a lie. It was not honorable for them to take elleths to bed before wedlock though, so it was easy enough to assume that such things did, on occasion, happen outside of Lorien's borders.

Anyhow, there were always a few elves who would recite these tales when bored, making parts of them up to outdo others. It was rather obnoxious, but Belegwen found she could not complain. If she did, they would most certainly remove her from her position in the guard. That would never do. Belegwen knew she must simply live up to her name's meaning and carry on through thick and thin, no matter what despicable things were being said after hours.

Eventually, she passed the commander's dark room. A tiny smile touched the corners of her mouth. He was tolerable. Well, at least he did not make snide comments about her the way that some of the elves did. No, he held his position well and was rather respectable.

When Belegwen finally reached her room and entered, a soft, blue light brightened magically as she entered. She dropped her belongings unceremoniously onto her armor rack and immediately tucked herself into her bed. Once she was settled in, the light dimmed again, quickly becoming as small as a star in the distance.

She turned to her side so she could watch everything through the part of her room that opened out to the skyline. From where she laid, she had a nice view of the silvery treetops and the starry sky. She gazed at it until sleep finally claimed her over, refreshing her for the new and long day that was up ahead of her.

ooOoo

Well, did you like it? Please review. Thanks. It might be a while before I update, since school starts back in tomorrow. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have to, unfortunately. With finals coming up, I'd say it could be a week before I find time to update. Sorry! Well, have a great day!

-P.G.

ooOoo

Revised on 01/24/10 by P.G.


	4. Chapter 4: Breakfast Tension

Hola, and welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. My time seems to be rather limited and when I do get onto I like to read some fanfics as well as make my own! Anyhow, sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 4: Breakfast Tension

Warm air currents softly floated through Belegwen's open wall, blowing her fluffy hair around her pillow a bit. A gentle sunray peeked in her window, its brilliant light shining on her closed eyes. She squeezed them shut for a few minutes, but finally gave in and opened them up to the beautiful new morning.

Lightly, she sat up in her bed and looked out the window. Had last night been a dream or had the commander wanted to have breakfast with her? Still a bit dazed, Belegwen made her way over to her armor rack. It was laden with clean light Eldarin armor that had been placed there during the night. Quietly and quickly she dressed herself.

Afterwards she found herself in front of her mirror, pulling her long hair into a thick messy braid that hung down her back. She stared at the final product in the mirror.

She sighed. "Oh well, beauty does not matter during battle." She said to herself, then nonchalantly turned around and exited the room. She glided down the stairs and headed towards the cafeteria area.

Belegwen mentally cringed as she thought of going in there. She usually tried to avoid it at all costs, for the ellons would look at her strangely as she sat all by herself and ate her meals, whispering disdainful comments about her that she could just barely make out. Usually Belegwen would just go to the kitchen and grab something to go, eating it as she walked to the practice area.

Casually, she entered into the cafeteria. Amazingly, she was paid little to no heed this time, for the conversations were still going as she approached the serving area. A hand of steel, however, clasped onto her arm and kept her achieving her destination. She looked back, a bit astonished.

It was the commander, Haldir, not looking too happy with her. "You are late. I hope this isn't a regular habit because I will not stand for it." He said in a gruff, irritated voice.

Belegwen bowed her head slightly. "I am sorry Commander, sir. It will not happen again."

"It had better not. Meet me at the table to the far right once you have your tray." He grumbled, then turned and walked away before she could reply.

Her eyes became tiny slits as her annoyance with him suddenly became visible. "Someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." She muttered to herself.

"He is always like that. Believe me..." Came a voice from behind her. Belegwen whipped around to face Malnen, one of the cooks.

Inwardly, Belegwen flinched. Malnen was her one female acquaintance other than Galadriel, the Lady of Light. Malnen was a rather outcast elf, just like her and was kind enough to serve Belegwen her meals in a bag that she could take along with her. However, she was always flirting with the many soldiers and this made Belegwen rather uncomfortable around her.

"So, what brings you to the breakfast room? Have you made a friend?" She asked in what could almost be made out to be a tone of mockery. Belegwen knew, however, that it was not so. Poor Malnen, she had been born with a voice that was not fair like that of most the Eldarin people. It sounded rather supercilious and was utterly unappealing to one's ears.

"No, just a quick meeting with the commander." She replied as Malnen gracefully emptied her usual breakfast out of its bag and onto a tray. Malnen then nodded as Belegwen uttered her thanks and left, heading towards a table that was occupied only by the March Warden himself.

She soundlessly slid onto the bench opposite him. He looked up, a blank emotion resting upon his face. "It's about time." He finally said as she started to eat.

"Now then, being second in command will mean that you will carry a huge amount of responsibility. I will have to teach you everything I know because if something ever happens to me during a watch, it is you who will take my place. Is this understood?"

She nodded, staring into his very stern eyes. "You will have to spend an enormous amount of time with me learning about tactics, leadership, languages, and acquiring a large amount of skills that will be needed for this job. Do you think you are up to the challenge?" He asked, leaning forwards a bit to emphasize his point.

"Yes sir." She replied quietly, now a bit shaken as she was starting to realize how much work this would be. It made her rather dizzy to think about how much he surely knew about all of these topics. However, it was an honor to hold such a position, and saying no to such an offer would be unthinkable.

"Very well then", he said in his ever-valiant voice, "You will meet me at the practice area in an hour. We will there find out what you know and what you lack." With that stated, he got up and started to head away with his tray. Suddenly though, he stopped and turned around to face her one last time. "Oh yes, and Belegwen...do not be late this time."

"Yes sir", she said, her cheeks slightly flushing with embarrassment over the whole subject. She had not meant to be late! She was not used to having breakfast at a specific time!

Haldir had not taken but five steps away from her table when Orophin, his brother, confronted him with a mischievous grin plastered upon his fair face. Haldir rolled his eyes, having something of an idea of the teasing that was about to occur. "What do you want Orophin?"

"You have a very strange taste in elliths Haldir. What were you and that thing talking about over there?" He asked, obviously trying to strike one of his brother's sensitive areas and upset him.

However, his plan worked a bit too well. "That thing?" He echoed, visibly upset with Orophin's choice of words. "That thing?" He repeated again, getting a bit louder this time. The once noisy room was soon silenced at this, everyone peering towards the scene curiously.

Haldir took in a deep breath and calmly stated, " That thing, as you call her, is now second in command. If I were you Orophin, I would show some respect." And with this said he quickly put up his tray and stormed out of the room, annoyed at the ignorance of his own blood.

As Haldir walked out of the cafeteria area and into the shade of the many trees, he could not help but wonder about Belegwen's current situation. How could she let them talk about her in this way and do nothing about it? Could she not see two feet in front of herself? Or was it just lack of confidence?

Haldir did not know, but he did know one thing. It was going to change and it was going to change soon.

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Note: By the way, for those of you wondering, Belegwen's name roughly translates out to "Mighty Maiden".

Well, there's another chapter. Please review. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll update soon hopefully.

-P.G.

OOOOOO

Revised on 4/6/07


	5. Chapter 5: Training is Initiated

Hello and welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. I'm sorry that I haven't updated recently. As much as I enjoy writing fanfics, I do like to read them as well. As of late I have been reading quite a few. Anyway, I'm sorry for the delay. Oh yes, and I must thank everyone who offers me advise as well. I did not know that elves slept with their eyes open. Thanks. Any other helpful comments are welcome because I am most certainly not an expert yet. Enjoy this new chapter! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien Enterprises or anything associated with Lord of the Rings.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 5: Training is Initiated

Time seemed to stop as the commander exited the cafeteria. Belegwen wished she could disappear. Everyone was staring at her, having heard every word exchanged between the March Warden and his brother. Silence filled the room, the tension becoming like a thick mist that was floating around her. She could feel her cheeks burning with humiliation.

Quickly, she found her feet and exited the room as fast as her legs could carry her, not bothering to put up her tray. Belegwen was well aware of the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. She did not let them though, keeping a straight face. She knew she had to; her life in the guard depended upon it.

Soundlessly, she made her way over to a tall tree and sat beneath it. She shut her eyes and allowed the sun's rays to hit her face gently, being shaded from their full effect by the trees leaves. "I will not cry... I will not cry..." She murmured to herself over and over again, the tears soon subsiding from her eyes, remaining unshed. When she finally opened her eyes, they seemed to glow with determination and pride.

Yes, she could be second in command. She would be, after she perfected her skills and received the necessary training. A smile touched the edges of her lips ever so slightly as she slowly got to her feet again. She would go and arrive at the training area early.

She started walking there, simply enjoying her surroundings. The trees of Lothlorien were gorgeous with their shining leaves of gold. Belegwen inhaled the clear, crisp air as she went on her way.

Suddenly she stopped, something poking her in the stomach. She gazed down to see that one of her armor buckles had come undone. Stupid armor, she thought as she buckled it up again. Belegwen would be happy when this week was over and she could go back to her normal outfit. However, Lord Celeborn thought it was good for all of the soldiers to wear their armor around a bit, and so every once in a while they would, just for practice. It helped them become accustomed to wearing it, just in case anything would come up in which they had to.

However, it agitated everyone, for it was not very practical for the guard watches. Nor did anybody particularly enjoy wearing it around while practicing either. It was a burden, and like everyone else, Belegwen could not wait to rid herself of it.

"Only three more days of this..." Belegwen muttered to herself as she walked into the practice area. She looked at her surroundings. There were several ellons shooting arrows at targets, solitary and moving ones. A few were fencing with partners, being careful as to not hurt anybody. A bit further away was a group of fairly young ellons, just reaching the age to become part of the guard. They were all sitting on the ground, listening to their teacher, who just so happened to be the March Warden himself.

His eyes locked onto hers for a mere instant, then went back to his pupils who were clumsily messing with beginner's bows. Slowly, Belegwen took her bow from her back and walked up to a target a bit farther from the others. She did not wish to hear anybody's whispers at the moment wanted to get a small practice in before she started in with Haldir.

Taking an arrow out of her quiver, she aimed for the target that was 200 feet away. Long distance shots were easy, but were good to warm up with. A second later she fired, her arrow flying straight and true. It hit dead center, as usual. Mere seconds later her bow was loaded again, Belegwen aiming for the same target. She released and watched as her first arrow was quartered, the wood being split down the center. Belegwen now truly smiled, satisfied with her handiwork.

"Not good enough." A harsh voice stated behind her. Belegwen flinched and whipped around to face Commander Haldir. Her eyes looked at his hard face, questioning his reasoning.

"Let me show you." He stated, then started to walk off towards the target. Quickly, Belegwen decided to follow. She had a hard time keeping up with his long, fast strides and nearly had to jog to stay up with him.

They finally came to a stop right in front of the target. He pointed down at the curled wood shreds of her first arrow. "The shreds on the left are slightly thicker than the shreds on the right. If this was a real target, it might have lived. Aim must be dead-on and perfect or you will not make it when it really counts." He said, his authority showing in his voice tone.

Belegwen stared, not really knowing what to say. The wood shards were just barely uneven. How could that possibly matter?!?

As if sensing what she was thinking, the commander glared at her. "Do not question my expertise. I know what I am talking about, whereas you do not." With that said, he quickly stormed away again, back towards the place that she had shot from. Belegwen followed, a bit down in her self-esteem.

Haldir stopped at the shooting line. "You shall do it over and over again until you get it correct." He stated sternly, then looked at her expectantly. Belegwen immediately whisked an arrow from her quiver and took her aim at the object. Her fingers nimbly released the arrow and it soared towards the target, hitting it dead center. She grabbed another arrow and repeated her actions.

"Off!" Haldir stated, then motioned her to go and retrieve the arrows. She started towards them reluctantly. "Be quick about it Belegwen! My time is precious and will not be wasted by the likes of you!" With that said, Belegwen broke into a sprint and retrieved her arrows as quickly as possible, returning speedily.

"You are slow too; we shall have to work on that. Again!" And so Belegwen shot again, and retrieved again. This was just the beginning of an excruciatingly long series of events, which did not cease until it was well past dark.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erthalion growled as he walked towards the bath, annoyed with just about everything that day. He had waited to be promoted, only to find out that Belegwen was going to be promoted instead of himself.

"I wish I could ring her dirty little neck..." He angrily muttered as he forcefully pushed open the door to the bath waiting room. It slammed up against the wall loudly, creating a scene for all who were awaiting a bath.

Ignoring all of the concerned looks he was receiving, Erthalion sat down on the bench and moped, his fury showing openly on his fair face. All was silent around him, the usual jests having ceased upon his arrival. After a while, he felt a hand upon his shoulder.

"What is wrong Erthalion? What brings such rage to your heart?" The soft male voice asked. Heledhril, that stupid Heledhril... Did not he realize that he could have had her position as well? That they had both been cheated from what was rightfully supposed to go to one of them?

"If you do not already know, then it is not of any importance." He muttered almost inaudibly. Then, as the door to the bath opened, he entered in, ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be last in line. None of the present Eldar said or did anything to prevent him from doing so, not wishing to mess with his already-troubled mind.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well, there's another completed chapter. Please review. Thanks. I hope you enjoyed it. I will try to update soon, though I cannot guarantee it. Oh yeah, and if you want me to e-mail you when I update, just ask. Have a good day!

-P.G.

OOOOOO

Revised 4/6/07


	6. Chapter 6: Pain and Determination

Hola, and welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. The response I have gotten to this fic is rather astounding. I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. Also, it has been brought to my attention that I'm making the elves very sexist; this is not so. See, the men in this fic simply do not know how to act around Belegwen, not knowing exactly how they should treat a female soldier. However, Belegwen is very insecure as is and thinks that everything bad that happens around her has something to do with her being female. I thought I'd just quickly point that out. Enjoy this new chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 6: Pain  
  
The air seemed heavy around the exhausted and pained figure that was just barely pulling herself up the stairway. Belegwen was rather unsure if she would make it up the stairway this time or not. Her legs felt like jelly, worn from the extensive run that she had taken with the commander after she had finally hit the target dead-on. She could not even lift her arms that dangled lifelessly by her sides. They ached, having bent back a strong bow hundreds of times repeatedly.  
  
And of course, knowing that she would have to walk back down the staircase to bathe was not a very reassuring thought either. Somehow she made it into her room, then collapsed upon the hard floor, not being able to go any further. She could hear her heavy, raspy breath and feel her heart pounding out of control. All was not well.  
  
Slowly she turned her body over on the cold floor and tried to shake off her armor as best as she could. Minutes seemed like hours as she finally got the retched items off her sweaty body. Oh, how she wanted to get her bathe. She was longing for it, wanting to wash off all of her perspiration and blood. However, she knew that she could not make it down the steps.  
  
Mentally, she cursed herself for being so physically unfit. She couldn't believe that she had been in the guard all this time without being able to run five consecutive miles after doing some very hard bow training.  
  
Of course, Haldir's idea of training was much harsher than what her previous partners' had been. "It is necessary....." She mumbled softly to herself. "If I want this position, it is necessary......."  
  
Tears now poured from her eyes like miniature rivers, finding their way down her cheeks and staining the floor. Belegwen did not wipe them away, unable to without having twinges of pain shoot up her arms. "I must......." She choked out, slightly stuttering.  
  
Ever so slowly, she dragged herself over to the bed, her soreness nearly overcoming her. Somehow she managed to pull herself into the bed. Silently she cried as she pulled her light covers over her worn body. Sleep quickly claimed her, and she want on into a much happier place.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
He was coming to her; she knew it before he had even arrived. An instant later he strolled in at a comfortable pace. Celeborn had never been one to hurry unless it was in a great time of need. "What bothers thy heart so, dear Celeborn?" Galadriel asked softly, turning away from her open wall and looking him over.  
  
Celeborn appeared unruffled, though perhaps a bit weary. "My lady, I am not sure that it was a good idea to assign Belegwen to this greater responsibility."  
  
"Why is that, my lord?"  
  
"I saw her as I returned from my nighttime walk. She does not seem to be fairing too well. In fact, it appears that Haldir has pushed her far beyond her limits today."  
  
Galadriel closed her eyes for a few moments, then shot open again quickly. "She will recover. I know she will."  
  
"But will she be able to withstand all of the preparations, or will this have all been done in vain?" He persisted, halting in front of her.  
  
Galadriel peered deeply into Celeborn's eyes. He was concerned for her well-being. She knew that Celeborn thought of Belegwen almost as if she was their own child. He cared for her, not wanting her to get hurt. That is why it had taken so long to get her into the guard. Celeborn had not wanted to see her in pain, as he had already become friends with the young lady at that time.  
  
"You need not worry about her, dear Celeborn. She can handle it; this I am certain of. I can see her doing many great things in her future."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Belegwen awoke to a rough, violent shaking. Her eyes quickly snapped to awareness. She turned and came face to face with the commander. He looked rather cross, his eyebrows furrowed angrily. "You are late for our morning run. Get up, and be quick about it!"  
  
Her eyes followed him as he exited her room speedily. They then drifted down her body. Thank the Valar; her sheet was covering her body. What would have happened if it had not been?  
  
"I shall have to start wearing my robe to bed." She muttered, annoyed already with the commander. She had hoped that this had all been a bad dream and that she would awake to the sounds of birds sweetly serenading her from outside of her window. However, that was not so. It was still dark outside, the stars still lightly painting the sky above.  
  
Belegwen rolled out of bed, pain immediately returning to her as she fell onto the hard marble floor. It was not as great as yesterday, but it still throbbed quite severely. She arose to her feet and started to put on her armor at a quick tempo, thanking the Valar mentally that someone had put clean armor out for her.  
  
After whipping her hair into a messy bun on her head, she quickly exited the room, limping ever-so-slightly. The pain in her legs refused to go away as she took on the stairs one by one. Never had her body been through such torture; never.  
  
"It's about time", he said snidely as she entered the lobby. "Be on time next time! I haven't got time to waste! Now, let's go."  
  
With that said, he took ran off, an Eldarin blur into the night. Belegwen's eyes enlarged as she attempted to keep up. How could he be so fast, so cunning? She wished to know how he had gotten into such excellent shape, yet retained such a horrible attitude.  
  
However, these thoughts did not remain in her head very long. Soon all she could concentrate on was the pulsating beat in her legs as she pushed herself forward involuntarily. Her head felt as light as a feather, and was slowly drifting off into the sky. Yet, her heart felt like it might explode, unused to such torment. It quickly became hard for her to think.  
  
She saw him getting farther away, her legs going slower and slower. Soon she could feel the forest floor underneath her hands. The world seemed to spin around her and her body ached, especially her legs and chest. Then, everything went black.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, there's another chapter. I'm sorry that it is so short; I'll try for a longer one next time. Please feel free to tell me your opinion. I'll try to update soon. Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	7. Chapter 7: Realization and Acceptance

Welcome back! Thank you for all of your kind comments; they are greatly appreciated. Some of you have been asking when the romance will start. Well, I cannot say and spoil the surprise, though I will say that this will not be your average romance. Enjoy this new chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 7: Realizations and Acceptance  
  
The darkness of night caressed the tops of the silver trees of the Lothlorien wood, their leaves glistening in the moonlight. A soft breeze rustled their leaves placidly. All was calm, including the man who was wearily climbing up into the flet of the healer.  
  
However, upon entering the room, tension ensued instantly as the march warden came face to face with the healer herself, Eltirwen. She was a rather odd elf, with large eyes that appeared fearful, but a presence that was rather mighty and slightly intimidating. "What brings you here, march warden?" She asked in her firm voice.  
  
"Is she up yet? We have training to catch up on..."  
  
At this point, Eltirwen crossed her arms threateningly and glared at him. "She will not be doing any training for a while... You have over- worked her body, Haldir. You surely didn't expect that she could do everything you could right away? None of the guard can, and this is what happens when they try!"  
  
Haldir now grew impatient with her tone. "I shall be the judge of that! Let me see her..." He insisted, then started to walk around her. Eltirwen grabbed his arm before he could get past her though, and stared into his eyes.  
  
"She has not regained her consciousness yet, and when she does she will be in no condition to do anything for a few days."  
  
Haldir growled when he heard this news, yanking his arm away from her. Quickly, he stormed out of the room and down the ladder from whence he came.  
  
"Hmph! Good riddance!" Eltirwen huffed, then went to her back room to check on her patient.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The first thing Belegwen noticed about her surroundings was the cool breeze upon her face. It softly stroked her cheeks and tugged at her loose hair, stringing it away from her face. All was silent around her; no disturbing noises were picked up by her sharp ears at the moment. Slowly, the black faded to blue as her eyes started to function again, her brain finally becoming fully alert.  
  
"Where am I..." She muttered in a wispy voice as she softly tried to turn her body and see. She gasped as the pain suddenly returned, shooting up her joints like lightning. Belegwen fell back to her original position and her eyes flickered around the dimly lit room.  
  
Ah, yes, she remembered this place. The infirmary, a slightly comforting area, surrounded her. She was facing the open wall, the moonlight increasing her vision. Suddenly a hand gently fell upon her shoulder. She jumped at the touch, then immediately regretted it as pain slammed her back against the bed.  
  
"You are awake my dear. This is good." Came the knowledgeable voice from behind her. Eltirwen, the healer, she immediately recognized and then relaxed slightly.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
Belegwen sighed, then croaked out, "Weak and sore."  
  
The older and wiser elf walked around to the other side of the bed and smiled kindly down at Belegwen. She looked less youthful than the other Eldarin people, mainly because her protruding cheekbones and her tight, perfect bun of dark brunette hair. "That is something I can remedy, my dear. Let me fix you some tea." She said, then bustled off to do just that.  
  
"Wait! How did I get here?" Belegwen mumbled, her eyes shutting again.  
  
"You passed out while exercising with the march warden. Do you remember now?" She asked curiously, wondering if her condition was worse that she had diagnosed.  
  
Now it was reality that slapped Belegwen in the face. Her eyes immediately opened as she remembered all of it. The pain, the agony...she had hoped that all of that had just been a dream. However, it was not.  
  
"Yes, I do", she finally replied, her shame showing in her eyes. Eltirwen immediately noticed this and laid a soothing hand upon her forehead.  
  
"Do not worry yourself, my dear. It is not your fault. Now, you just rest while I make your tea." She said, getting up and silently making her way out of the room.  
  
However, rest did not come to her as she could not help but wonder how the commander would react when he saw her next. Sleep did not come to her until Eltirwen gave her some herbs to encourage her body to do so.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
That next morning, the same figure from the night before climbed up the now quite visible flet ladder, the warm wood familiar to his fingers. Soft sunrays hit his hair, making it shine vibrantly. However, Haldir noticed nothing about himself or the weather. He barged right into Eltirwen's flet and stormed into Belegwen's room before Eltirwen could stop him.  
  
His eyes immediately fell upon her, her body lying limply in the bed. Her hair was sprawled out over her pillow messily, spilling off of it and onto the floor in a silvery pool. The sun hit her tired face, the rays showing off the bags underneath her eyes.  
  
"What are you doing in here?!?" Hissed a very upset Eltirwen, shooting daggers at him with her eyes.  
  
"I wanted to see is she was up, obviously..." He replied slowly, not bothering to keep his voice at a low level.  
  
Eltirwen frowned at him. "I did not say that you could come in here. You are supposed to ask first..."  
  
Haldir rolled his eyes at this and opened his mouth to counter attack this remark, when a soft moan from the bed turned both of their heads towards the figure in the bed, now conscious for the second time. Belegwen was now staring at them, her eyes mere slits since the sun was shining brightly into them. "...What...?" She softly mumbled, not averting her gaze from the two standing figures.  
  
"You're up", Haldir finally stated, "We have training to do."  
  
After mumbling a few inaudible things, Belegwen started to slowly sit up, holding the sheets close to her body so she would not expose herself. About halfway up she cringed and fell back down onto the bed, her hair going everywhere.  
  
"She is not going anywhere." Stated a very firm Eltirwen, appearing to be quite annoyed with the march warden at the moment. She crossed her arms across her chest sternly, then glowered at Haldir quite unpromisingly. "Leave. Now."  
  
It was Belegwen, however, that surprised everyone by breaking the tense silence. "No, give me a moment", she muttered in a rather muffled voice, "I can-" She started as she tried to sit up again, only to fall back and fail once more.  
  
"No!" Eltirwen demanded, now looking rather alarmed as she rushed to Belegwen's side and tried to prevent her from getting up again. "Stay put! You have not the strength to do anything. You will stay here for a while." She stated quite clearly, in an unquestioning manner.  
  
Eltirwen the raised herself back to her normal height and walked right up to the march warden, appearing utterly fearless in every possible way. "And you , march warden", she stated, jabbing her index finger on his chest and pushing him back slightly, "You will leave now before you cause anymore trouble. Have I made myself clear?" She asked, though it was not truly a question; it was a demand.  
  
Haldir's eyes slightly enlarged at this act of boldness, but he still appeared quite fair and unruffled. "Very well then", he said, his head still held up high, "I shall be back tomorrow and we shall do some training that lacks physical demand. Surely you will not object to this..."  
  
Eltirwen's eyes became slits as she reacted to his sarcasm. "Very well, but only if she is awake and feeling well enough. Understood?"  
  
Haldir did not answer; he just turned around and headed for the door silently. The flet was soon as quiet as it had been 10 minutes before. "What am I going to do with that man?" Eltirwen muttered under her breath as she slowly went about her work again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, did you like it? Please tell me what you think. I'll try to update soon. Until then....  
  
-P.G. 


	8. Chapter 8: Receiving Advise

Hola! Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. A big thank you goes out to my reviewers. The support and constructive criticism is appreciated. Enjoy this new chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkein Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 8: Receiving Advise  
  
Haldir slowly walked away from the training area, extremely exhausted. He had trained without a partner today, not really missing her. Belegwen always seemed to lag behind him, not allowing him to fully expend himself.  
  
Silently, he brushed a hand through his slightly golden hair, the moon making it shimmer in a dazzling way. The wind ignorantly blew it back to its original position though, the breezes carrying his tendrils every which way. He was just about to the entrance when he stopped, his eyes slightly widening.  
  
'Haldir', the voice softly called again. However, this was not the usual Eldarin voice, this was a voice coming from inside of his mind. It was the lady of light, Galadriel, calling to him. 'Come speak with me Haldir', she said in her low, wispy voice, 'you know where to find me.'  
  
The wind suddenly seemed much colder than it had before. Haldir calmly turned around and headed towards the lady's location. "What could this be about?" He muttered silently to himself, wishing that he knew what this was going to be about.  
  
A few minutes later he found himself deep within the heart of the lady's personal garden. Surrounded by moonlit flowers, Haldir made his way through the garden watchfully, looking for the great Lady Galadriel.  
  
"Beautiful night, is it not?" Came a gentle voice from behind his back. Haldir quickly whipped around, only to find himself face-to-face with the magnificent lady herself. Clad in shining white lace, the lady's hair shimmered like gold by the light of the moon. Her eyes intensely dug into his, searching for something that he did not quite understand.  
  
Not waiting for him to answer, she continued slowly. "Perfect night for a nice run, I would say. What a pity it is that your partner cannot join you."  
  
Haldir said nothing to this comment, looking down at his shadow floating across the ground. Then, suddenly his head rose up and he look Galadriel straight in the eyes. "Forgive me for changing the subject my lady, but I must know: why did you choose Belegwen for the job as my second?"  
  
A slight smile graced Galadriel's face momentarily before she replied. "I have never seen such determination in a person before. She is very faithful and reliable as well. I do believe it is important that we put such wonderful traits to good use."  
  
Now a bit embarrassed at having asked a rather stupid question, Haldir turned away from her and stared out into the starry sky. "However, there is only so much a person can do Haldir." She stated softly, placing a gentle hand upon his shoulder. "As long as you ask it of her, she will try her best."  
  
"Yes, I know", Haldir muttered inaudibly, his eyes focusing on the larger crescent moon that hung high in the dark bluish-black sky.  
  
"I, however, must request that you work her into the training slowly. It takes courage for her to do what she does, and I would hate to see her spirit waste away within the healer's confinement."  
  
"I understand, my lady." He whispered gently, a bit of what could be made out to be shame lingering in his voice.  
  
"Very good", she stated, removing her hand from his arm lightly. "You shall train her well. I can see great things in both of your futures."  
  
Haldir then turned around, only to find himself quite alone, the wind being his only other companion.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Eltirwen eyed the elf on the bed rather curiously from the next room. Belegwen seemed to be making a rapid recovery. Already she could walk around, though still a bit sore in the legs. Eltirwen had told her to stay in bed reguardless of this, however, because she would need all of the rest she could get.  
  
There was no doubt in Eltirwen's mind that Haldir was going to work her over yet again and she would be seeing the young lady again probably within the next week. She knew that the march warden was very stubborn and never seemed to change his ways.  
  
"The man with the greatest rank also seems to have the greatest amount of idiocy at times", she muttered to herself and she put some water on over her small fire, intending on having some tea before she went to bed.  
  
She strolled into her room lazily, coming to a stop in front of a large mirror. Eltirwen then proceeded to take her tight bun out, pin-by- pin sliding out of her dark brunette hair. She smiled as her hair all fell around her face once all of the pins were removed. Eltirwen loved wearing her hair long, but being the healer, it was more reasonable for her to have it out of her face.  
  
After quickly slipping off her dress and putting on her robe, she slid into the kitchen again and took her water off of the heat. Carefully she poured equal amounts into two small china teacups. After stirring in an assortment of herbs, she quietly picked up both cups and headed to her patient's room.  
  
"Here, drink this my dear", she said softly as she held one of the steaming cups out to Belegwen. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Much better, all thanks to you", she said, a half smile appearing on her candlelit face. Eltirwen watched as Belegwen silently took a sip of her tea, then cringe as it apparently burned down her throat. The heat of the tea brought tears to her patient's eyes, though she blinked them away immediately.  
  
"It's hot." Eltirwen pointed out, stating the obvious quite clearly.  
  
"I see", the lady muttered, staring at her cup, her mind not exactly in with the conversation.  
  
"Well, I believe you are fine now dear, so I shall have no choice but to release you tomorrow. I'm sure the march warden will be thrilled." She said, throwing a bit of sarcasm into the genuinely good news. "Now you must go to sleep though in order to be refreshed in the morning."  
  
"But, I must finish some more of this book. It really is rather interesting." Belegwen objected.  
  
"What is that anyway?" Eltirwen asked, unquestionably curious. She watched as Belegwen lifted the cover of her book to reveal 'The History of the Lorien Guard'. Eltirwen's eyes enlarged even more than usual at this. "Where did you get that?" She hissed, almost dreading the answer that she knew was going to come.  
  
"A soldier came with these for me earlier. He said they were from the march warden and that I was to study them when possible." Eltirwen then looked down at the floor to find six other books lying there.  
  
"How dare that trouble maker try to interfere with your treatment... I swear, if he comes in here again..." She stated, trailing off in her anger. "You put down that book now and go to bed! You can finish it tomorrow!" Without warning Eltirwen then yanked the book away from her and blew out the candle. "See you in the morning dear! And do not always do everything that man says. Most of the time he's just being an awful brute!"  
  
With that stated, Eltirwen shut Belegwen's door and went off to bed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There's another chapter. What did ya think? Feel free to tell me. Thanks for reading it. Until the next chapter...  
  
-P.G. 


	9. Chapter 9: Moments of Confusion

Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. Wow, 100+ reviews... I would have never guessed. Thank you all for such positive responses and criticism. It is greatly appreciated. Now, here's another chapter for your enjoyment.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
Chapter 9: Moments of Confusion  
  
Soft candlelight flowed into the dark room as the tall figure entered it slowly, a blank expression pasted upon his fair Eldarin face. As he crept in soundlessly, a small figure entered behind him, clutching his hand protectively. Though it was dark, the child's fair silvery hair glimmered as the gentle candlelight washed over it.  
  
Ever so slowly, the tall man walked around the room, flashing the candle here and there. The child followed him silently, never straying from his side for a second. Her eyes were wide and full of fear as they approached every nook and cranny of the cozy little room.  
  
Finally, the tall figure stopped and stooped down on his knees. "My dear, there are no creatures of Melkor hiding in this room. I deem it safe for you to sleep in."  
  
The child's wide eyes flashed around the room again rather suspiciously. "Are you sure papa?" She whispered, her voice shaking with the fear that still lingered in her heart.  
  
The tall man sighed, a frown touching the edges of his mouth. "I shall also make sure that your brother tells you no more stories of that nature. Come along dear; it is time for you to drift off into the land of dreams." He stated, leading her over to her small bed. He lifted her into it and gently pulled the light covers over her tiny body.  
  
"Will you sing to me?" She murmured softly as he stood up to his full height.  
  
"I am sorry, my dearest Belegwen. The guard awaits me. Shall I send your mother in?" He asked, a slightly saddened tone showing up in his voice. He wished that he could stay with his daughter and help her conquer her fears, but his duties could not wait.  
  
"Yes please." She whispered softly, "Good night papa."  
  
"Good night, my dearest daughter. May the Valar bless you with the most wonderful dreams until you awaken in the early morn." He softly said, then disappeared from the doorway, the light leaving her surrounded by the menacing darkness. Tears poured down from her eyes, dampening her silken sheets as the chilly breezes blew around her, daunting her to no end. Quickly, she pulled her head underneath her sheets and waited for some comfort to find her.  
  
"My dearest Belegwen, what torments your heart so?" A tender voice asked from beside her. Her eyes peeked out from beneath her sheets to find the face of her mother staring down at her.  
  
Belegwen could not bring herself to say anything. However, once her mother sat down on the edge of her bed, she immediately embraced her tightly and cried onto her reassuring shoulder. She could feel her mother's soft hand caressing her hair all the while, her lips whispering soothing words into her ears.  
  
Then, ever so gently, her mother laid her back down into her bed. "Your father said you requested a song. What do you want to hear, my dear?"  
  
"Sing to me...the song about Nimrodel." The child softly whispered between muffled sobs. Her mother's hand rested soothingly upon her head as her voice began to ring out softly. Her voice was beautiful, flowing from her lips to the heavens.  
  
Belegwen listened to the soft tune and soon felt herself drifting off, just as her father had promised. The winds no longer were chilling, but now felt gentle and warm upon her damply streaked cheeks. Comfort filled her being, and it was at that moment when she felt the softest of kisses placed upon her lips.  
  
"Goodnight mother", Belegwen muttered as she slipped off into dreamland. However, harsh calloused hand suddenly gripped her arms and shook her, waking her from her placid slumber.  
  
Her soft eyes met harsh, intense ones. The eyes of the march warden. "It is time for you to arise. We have work to do today." He stated, quickly turning and exiting the room that she now recognized as part of the healer's flet.  
  
Belegwen softly sat up and looked around. Already, the images of her dream seemed faint and distant, as if it had never occurred at all. Yet, all in all, she was astonished. Never before had she had a dream about her family that did not involve images of their deaths.  
  
She then cringed as she thought of that, unpleasant images quickly filling her head immediately. "Why..." She murmured, tears gently flowing down her cheeks now. "So much blood...why...?"  
  
Silently, she got up and started to look around for her armor in the dim light of the sun, which was not quite peeking over the horizon yet, though the sky had slightly become lighter than it had been earlier. Belegwen panicked as she could not find her armor. "Where did it go?" She asked herself, wiping the tears from her eyes as alarm started to fill her soul.  
  
Then, her hands found some other clothes. Belegwen squinted, trying to see what exactly was there, folded up neatly on the table. "My guard outfit?" She questioned inaudibly. "But...?"  
  
And then it hit her. She had missed the remainder of the armor-clad days. She was free to where her comfortable attire now. Haldir must have brought them in for her. "Thank you commander", she muttered as she quickly dressed, trying to forget the images of her dead family that kept popping up in her brain.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
As soon as Haldir exited Belegwen's room, he slowly found himself sitting down in one of Eltirwen's chairs. What had just happened in there? His mind was going utterly insane as he recalled exactly what he had done.  
  
He had entered the room, Eltirwen still being asleep, and had found himself staring down upon her sleeping form. He had thought of how pretty she looked, just laying there limply. However, why had he kissed her?!? When had he had that urge?!?  
  
"Wait, did I just admit that I thought she was pretty?" He muttered, confusion ensuing his mind as he pondered the situation. Why had he kissed her? In reality, he had seen many maidens who were much more beautiful and more normal than her. So, what was it about her that had suddenly intrigued him so?  
  
"I do not know", he whispered to himself, gripping his head violently. "What came over me?!?" He now went into a full, all out panic. Had she been awake for that?!? What if she had?!?!?  
  
"Commander, I am ready." Came a voice from behind him, nearly causing him to loose his calm, composed state. Pulling together as much dignity as he could, he turned around to face her, only to find that she looked rather odd. In fact, she looked slightly ruffled now and perturbed.  
  
Inwardly, Haldir shuddered. Was she going to say anything about this?!? How could he face her now?!? "Commander, are you alright sir?" She now questioned, looking at him with what appeared to be concern in her eyes.  
  
Feeling peculiar and annoyed because of this, Haldir headed for the doorway, motioning for her to follow him. "We are going to go for a short run first. Then, after breakfast, we shall start to learn some strategies." He muttered softly, then jumped down from the flet, her following the same suite. He would have to think this over later.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, what do you think? Feel free to tell me all. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I will try to update soon. Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	10. Chapter 10: A New Type of Training

Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. A big fat thank you goes out to everybody who reads and/or reviews this fic. Several of you have requested longer chapters and quicker updates. Well, first of all, if I make the chapters longer, the updates will be fewer. Plus, I like to read fanfics on-line as well and so it's hard for me to crank out more than one chapter a week. That might, however, change once we get into summer vacation (only three more months!!!). For now I will just try my best to give you quality chapters when possible. Now, onto the story! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 10: A New Type of Training  
  
Belegwen slowed as they, both Haldir and herself, came upon their destination. They came to a complete halt in front of the cafeteria. Slightly worn out, she mopped off some beads of sweat that had congregated upon her forehead. Her hands fell to her legs and she hunched over, trying to catch her breath. As she gasped for air, the morning sun blazed down upon her figure and she stared at her shadow that lingered in the creamy brown dirt.  
  
"Stand up straight if you want to catch your breath", Haldir stated, sounding somewhat agitated. "You will never catch your breath if you stoop over like that."  
  
She looked over at him as she came back to a straight standing position. Mentally, she grimaced. He hadn't even broken a sweat and appeared unruffled. She had not thought that she was this much out of shape... However, this could be partially due to her having just got out of the infirmary.  
  
"Stretch a bit also, unless you would like to send yourself back to the healer's flet." He stated nonchalantly, staring up into the golden leafy branches of the trees.  
  
Belegwen did as she was told, bending back her legs one at a time to stretch her quadriceps. Secretly, she wondered if the commander was all right. He seemed to be preoccupied with something today, and that simply was not like his usual self at all. Something was bothering him, but what...?  
  
"Sir", she stated meekly, afraid of how he may react, "Commander sir, I'm ready now." With this said, his eyes immediately snapped away from their viewpoint and met hers intensely.  
  
"Okay", he said, sighing gently as a breeze blew his hair across his face. He brushed it away quickly and said, "But before we go to breakfast, you will learn another lesson."  
  
Belegwen was now truly paying attention to him. "Before you can lead any elves in my place, you must gain their respect." He stated strongly, showing that he obviously believed in what he was teaching. "For they will not follow you if they think badly of you."  
  
Now Belegwen became anxious. How could she possibly get these men to respect her after all of the mockery that had gone on between them?!? Would she ever be able to lead them? Perhaps this job was not meant for her after all...  
  
"You shall start out by getting to know them a bit better. However, that is not your first task." He stated as he started to move into the cafeteria, motioning for Belegwen to follow his lead.  
  
They came to a stop in the middle of the entrance to the cafeteria. Belegwen watched as the soldiers ate and talked merrily, their light hair gleaming in the sunshine. She gawked at the sheer amount of soldiers that were inhabiting the room.  
  
"Today, I merely want you to go up to all of the tables and wish them a good morning. If they ask you anything, answer it in a mannerly way, unless it is vulgar, in which case you shall ignore it. Am I understood?" Haldir asked her, looking down at her, awaiting an answer.  
  
Belegwen looked up at him, her eyes filled with terror. Her mouth opened up a bit and her jaw quivered, as if she could not find the correct words to respond with. She could not believe that he wanted her to do this. How could she-?  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" He stated, now perceptibly exasperated.  
  
"But..." Belegwen stuttered, not moving a muscle in any particular direction. Surely he would understand why she did not wish to do this. Most of the men in the room had never spoken to her at all. She seldom ever spoke with them either. Belegwen was not even sure of all their names.  
  
Haldir's eyes drooped dangerously until they became slits. "If you want them to respect you, you cannot fear them." He stated slowly, his voice in an eerie monotone. "If you have the courage to speak with them openly, you will be regarded by them. Do not fear what they think, for it truly should not matter to you. You want this job, so go and do it!"  
  
Mixed emotions passed through Belegwen's mind. He had hit the nail on the head. How he knew about her terrors, she did not know. Was it that obvious, or had he found out more about her from the Lord and Lady?  
  
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. However, he was right. She did want the job, quite badly now, in fact. She had worked so hard these few days already and she knew that she had a long ways to go as well. Her mind called out for her to just give up and throw in her towel, defeated. Her heart screamed out for her to surpass all of her fears and go for the dream though.  
  
The dream-it had never crossed her mind until about a week ago. Belegwen had never thought that she could accomplish such things. Her family had never had a history of high guard positions, and she had figured that she would be the same. Now that she knew it was possible though, she was not quite ready to give it up.  
  
Her eyes shut for a second, though it felt like an hour to her. Then, she opened them and then an expression of raw determination rested upon her calm, composed face. "I understand, commander sir." She stated, then pulled herself together. Both her mind and heart finally agreed and she stepped forward to the first table.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
A small smile crossed Haldir's face as she walked over to the first table. She was going to do it. He had seen her emotions just now. It had taken a lot of mental battle before she had acquired the confidence to do what had to be done.  
  
"She shall make it through this training if she allows herself to." And indeed, it appeared that she would. She left the first table with a smile on her face and walked over the next.  
  
All that she had needed was a tiny push out the door.  
  
Haldir's face quickly returned to its normal stern position. He quickly got himself a tray of food and sat down at his designated table. From here he watched as she slowly but surely accomplished what he had asked of her.  
  
Perhaps now that the other men saw that she truly thought she belonged here, they would treat her more normally. Maybe that had been the problem all along. Or at least, that is how he himself had viewed it. There may never be a normal work relationship between her and her colleagues. Haldir was rather unsure of this. Only time could tell what was in store for her.  
  
He slightly frowned as he recalled the kiss from the morning. His mind had been so full that he had nearly forgotten. "I must have just been tired and deranged. Surely I will not let myself do something so foolish ever again." He muttered to himself as he consumed some of the fruit on his plate.  
  
His mind then wandered back to all of her faults. She had lagged him down severely today. He had not gotten the run that he had wanted to. Nor would he get it tonight either, as he would be working her too hard.  
  
Then his mind reminded him of his plan. Yes, she would be doing three times the amount of running by this time next week. He would increase the distance every time they ran until they were doing a satisfactory amount of running every morning and night. Yes, this plan would work out perfectly...  
  
Haldir could not help but smile a bit though as he watched her conquer her fear of socialization. She now seemed to be doing it naturally. This was definitely an improvement. Now she would at least be treated fairly, or so he hoped. However, the second she looked in his direction, his face became sour again, a frown slightly touching both ends of his mouth.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Did you like it? Please feel free to tell me your opinion. Frankly, I'm not sure if this is turning out exactly how I had planned it, so I'm not so sure if the comments will be good or not this time. I'll try to update soon!  
  
Anyway, wish me luck! I have Solo & Ensemble Contest on Saturday. Plus, I have a nasty cold. These two together always seem to bring me bad luck at performance time, especially because I lost my voice for it last year (no voice+vocal performance=disaster). Let's just hope my good friend Dayquil will get me through it!  
  
-P.G. 


	11. Chapter 11: The Unexpected

Welcome back to my fic! I'm sorry that this update has taken so long. Being a sophomore isn't easy! But alas, I cannot lie; I have slacked a bit. That and I've had a bit of a case of writer's block. In fact, as I sit here typing this, I still don't know exactly what's going to be in this chapter. We'll just see where my mind takes me... Enjoy!  
  
Note: Oh yeah, for those of you who say the romance is slow, I'd like to state that this isn't probably going to be you're average romance fic, to say the least. It won't be the usual, but I think it will turn out rather enjoyable regardless of this (Sorry, that's all I can say about it without giving some stuff away!).  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 11: The Unexpected  
  
Belegwen was all aglow as she pranced out of the cafeteria. Her lips kept trying to form a smile though she was attempting to keep a straight face. The guard members had appeared slightly surprised at her presence, but they were not at all crude as she had originally expected. In fact, they had all been quite polite.  
  
"I know not what I was afraid of before!" Belegwen murmured to herself as she walked towards the library where the commander had said they would meet. A light wind rustled the golden trees above her, a few of their soft leaves falling into her silvery hair. Her hand swooped up and brushed them out of her tresses, which were rather warm from the sun's vibrant rays.  
  
She softly sighed as she entered the library, unready to leave the beautiful day for the confines of the indoors. With regret plastered upon her face, she searched through the rooms of the secluded library for her commander.  
  
It was at the top floor that she finally found him awaiting her. He was sitting comfortably in a chair, leaning over the table reading something. There were several large books sprawled out on the table, some opened and some closed. Immediately he looked up, acknowledging her presence. "Come sit and we'll get started." He stated with an indifferent voice.  
  
Belegwen was slightly startled at this voice. He was acting so strangely today and she couldn't figure out why. It was good that he wasn't being so demanding, but she was not used to this total lack of vigor. It was as if something very trivial was on his mind and was keeping him from functioning in his proper ways.  
  
Silently, Belegwen pulled up a chair and they began.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Two hours later, a frazzled Belegwen exited the library. However, nobody would be able to recognize her with the abominable pile of books that she was carrying. "As if she didn't have enough things to read already..." She muttered insolently as she stumbled up the stairs to her room with the pile wobbling from side to side dangerously.  
  
Whatever had been bothering Haldir before, he had quickly snapped out of it. In fact, he had popped up and became his bossy old self again. When she had questioned any of his strategies, he had quickly retaliated with answers, proving that his ways had been perfected years ago.  
  
The funny thing was that every time he proved her wrong he got rather carried away with his voice. He kept getting louder and louder until he was nearly yelling about it. This, naturally, earned him many reprimands from the chief librarian, who had finally kicked them both out of the room for disturbing the peace.  
  
Thinking about this put a small chuckle in Belegwen's mouth as she tromped up the final black marble staircase and pushed open the door to her room. Ah, the look on his face had been priceless when the librarian had told him that she didn't care whether he was a march warden or the lady of light herself; he had to follow the silence rule regardless!  
  
Upon entering her small room, Belegwen promptly dropped all of her books down onto her armor rack and sighed deeply with relief. She then looked over the mess of books that were scattered on the rack and floor. Spotting the one she wanted, she quickly grabbed it. Bird Calls for the Leader's Level.  
  
Belegwen now sighed again. He said that they would practice these tomorrow when they went back for their next three-day guard duty. This meant that she had to read the extremely thick book all tonight. She groaned at the thought of staying up through many late hours studying the thick book's contents. It did not seem to be a pleasurable experience.  
  
Slightly annoyed at this revelation, Belegwen settled herself comfortably on her bed and was just about to start reading when her door burst open quite unexpectedly. Totally unprepared for this, Belegwen jumped and took a rather hard landing on the cold, hard floor.  
  
Gazing up immediately, she found herself glaring at none other than the commander yet again. "Why don't you ever knock before entering!?!" She declared angrily, then instantly regretted the words that had flown out of her mouth.  
  
Haldir looked surprised at her mouth as well. He was obviously not used to being talked back to as such. "Sorry", he muttered, looking down at the floor suddenly as if the black swirls interested him.  
  
An awkward silence filled the air. "What brings you here commander sir?" Belegwen inquired in a whispery tone. She was still in shock that she had spoken to him with such power. It was a quality that was unlike her.  
  
However, Haldir seemed to snap out of his daze almost instantaneously and continued as if nothing had happened between the two of them at all. "I thought that we should practice some fencing skills today. Now." He stated, though it was more of a command than a statement. His calm and demanding demeanor had already returned.  
  
Belegwen blinked a few times, then shot to her feet and followed him out the door and down the long staircase once again. She smiled as the sun hit her hair, warm and familiar. The two quickly approached the training area. Silently, they put on a few pieces of padding that would hopefully protect their bodies from any careless motions.  
  
Gently, Belegwen reached down and unsheathed her sword. The blade shimmered brightly in the light as she unmasked it. Her sword was called "the Nimrodel" for it had been found down by the mouth of the river nearly an age ago. It was most definitely of Lorien origin, but none of the historian's were able to pinpoint its exact creator. The Lady of Light had given the sword to Belegwen about a half a century ago. Though its history was unknown to the Eldarin kindred, it had still served its purpose quite well and Belegwen would use no other.  
  
Belegwen finally looked up to see Haldir already in a stance, awaiting her ready. Quickly, she acquired her stance as well and they started in. He started with a side slash. She instantly countered it and then tried a forward blow. Haldir blocked it easily, his hand quite steady yet nimble.  
  
Suddenly, instinct kicked in and before Belegwen even realized what she was doing, she had kicked the sword right out of his unsuspecting hand. Nimrodel was pressed right up against his neck. A dull thud could be heard as Haldir's sword fell to the ground about five yards away.  
  
Haldir's eyes were wide as he stared at the shimmering blade by his neck intently. Slowly, Belegwen pulled it away and both of the partners shared a sigh of relief. "Where did you learn that?" Haldir asked inquisitively, wiping a few lone sweat beads from his forehead.  
  
"My father recorded tricks and tips for doing all of his special fencing moves in his journal. It is in my possession." Belegwen replied softly, her mind flashing to her dead family for an instant before she was pulled back into the present.  
  
"I see", muttered Haldir in an almost gentle tone of voice. "I would like to look over those...unless you are opposed to this idea of course."  
  
"I shall consider it", Belegwen replied, unsure if she was willing to allow someone else look through her father's private account. It was one of the few items she had that had belonged to her previous family and she treasured it greatly.  
  
This revelation was followed by a moment of utter silence, only tainted by the wind's gentle whisper through the trees and the barely audible song of a bird from on high. "I was unaware that your father knew of such things... Pity. If I had know he had such skill, I would have had him at an even higher rank..." Haldir then paused briefly before asking, "Will you show me how to do that last move you did?"  
  
"Certainly march warden sir. I would be happy to." She stated as she slowly walked over and grabbed up his sword from the grassy area where it had landed. Her eyes widened at its weight. How could he wield such a heavy item so naturally?!?  
  
"This move is all about timing", she said as she lugged his sword over to him. He took it from her easily, as if it weighed nothing at all. This disgusted her greatly. It was unfair that he could have such strength! "You do not want to kick the sword while it is pointed or even slanted towards yourself or you will be impaled."  
  
Belegwen took a breath and was about to continue when another guard member ran up from the confines of the shady forrest. The man looked horrible and the stench coming off of him was awful. He reeked badly of a smell that no Eldarin warrior could mistake...orc blood. He was covered in the foul navy liquid. His own blood was trickling down his face from what appeared to be a sword slash across his cheek. All in all, it was a putrid sight.  
  
However, his urgency caught both elve's attention and they turned towards him. He stopped and immediately grabbed Haldir's arm harshly. His eyes were filled with fear and grief all mingled together. Utterly surprised, Belegwen instantly took a step back. The smell was already making her slightly nauseous.  
  
The man the bent over, panting dreadfully. "Commander sir...orc attack on the western front...Orophin...I couldn't get there in time...I...", he stammered, then finally looked up to reveal tears welling up in his soft grey eyes. "Come sir, I know not of his condition..."  
  
Upon hearing this news about his brother, Haldir dropped his sword and took off at a sprint towards the healer's flet. The other weary soldier followed after him, though not nearly as fast. Belegwen simply froze, stunned, as she watched the men run off.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, there's another chapter. Feel free to give me some good feedback. I love it. I'll try to have the next update come sooner. Also, I think the rating might jump sometime in the next few chapters. I hope this doesn't affect your opinion on the story. Thanks! Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	12. Chapter 12: Too Late

Welcome back to my fic! Wow, between the school musical and homework lately I'm surprised that I've found some time to type this up. Anyway, I'm glad that everyone has been enjoying the fic up until this point, though some of your opinions will probably change after this chapter, or so I suspect. The show must go on though, right? Well, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 12: Too Late  
  
Dark was the room he sat in, so silent and alone. There was no breeze at all and the air was heavy and stale around Haldir as he sat in the wooden chair, paralyzed at the sight he was beholding. He was gripping the arms of his chair tightly as his grievous eyes fell upon the body limp body upon the bed.  
  
He had come too late.  
  
Time seemed to stop as everything sank into his heart and mind. His brother had been attacked by orcs and they had brought an early, unnatural death to him. Haldir cringed as he thought of this, tears now starting to stream down his face. "The one time you needed me and I was not there for you..." He whispered as he slowly arose from his hard seat and stood next to Orophin's lifeless body. "I'm sorry that I failed you."  
  
Now Haldir sat softly on the bed and placed a hand on his brother's cool face. "It is my fault. I'm so sorry!" He muttered, then his face crinkled up with an expression of pain and he cried, attempting to muffle his wails, but it was to no avail.  
  
He now wished that he had not earlier screamed at Rumil for not saving him. He wished his brother was still in this room with him so that he would not be alone. Most of all though, he wished that this was all just a horrible nightmare that he would awaken from at any moment....  
  
But it wasn't.  
  
Reality had struck him hard this time and Haldir had never felt so alone in his life. Ever-so-slowly his family was being slain and he could not prevent any of these events from occurring....  
  
Softly, Haldir leaned forward and kissed his brother's cheek one final time. "This should not have been..... Why....?", he stuttered out, slurring his whispered words.  
  
"Poor Orophin... I'm so sorry.... I'm so sorry......" he simply repeated over and over again. Haldir quietly knelt there soaking his brother's silken sheets with his tears, incapable of doing anything else at the time being.  
  
"Dear Orophin, I am truly sorry."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Belegwen's eyes widened at the awesome silence that was surrounding her as she exited the bath. This made her uneasiness even worse. She had already been fearful of the day's happenings after she had seen the soldier approach Haldir. Naturally, she had heard many a rumor as well. Most of them were horrible and involved Haldir's brother Orophin being mauled by orcs.  
  
"I can only hope that these are mere rumors and not the truth of the matter", she muttered to herself as she silently started up the stairs. The emptiness of the halls was also bothering her. It was only early evening, as the moon had not even risen to an admirable height yet. The sky was only a fair, medium shade of blue, not the full dark color yet. Until the moon was directly overhead, there was always usually a hustle and bustle of restless soldiers roaming about.  
  
It was not so now though. The stairs were so silent that she could nearly hear her silent footsteps going up every step. Belegwen shivered, not enjoying the cold draft that floated through the deserted halls.  
  
After a few more seconds curiosity overcame her. Silently, she leaned up against one of the doors to a room and listened for any sounds of life. Shutting her eyes, she could make out the faintest whisper of two elves conversing in a sour tone.  
  
Belegwen quickly pulled away, now scared of the tidings that had already passed. What if something terrible had happened? How would Orophin's family react to this news?  
  
Then, as she turned to go up the next set of stairs, she saw the result. About halfway up the steps lay Rumil's body, shaking slightly as he was having fits of hushed sobs. Immediately, pity struck Belegwen's heart and she quickly approached him.  
  
Kneeling down gently beside him, Belegwen placed one of her soft, tarnished hands upon his overturned head. She stroked his golden locks softly as he continued to sob, ignoring her efforts. "Rumil..." She murmured, "Let me help you to your room."  
  
"What good is it?!?" He stuttered, his voice cracking as he spoke up. "He is dead! It matters not where I go, for he shall never return!"  
  
A wave of shock hit Belegwen as she finally heard the truth voiced aloud. She had hoped to all of the Valar that the rumors had not been true...but it had obviously done no good. She had simply been denying the truth until now, when she no longer could.  
  
Though Belegwen would have loved to sit and cry with him, something inside of her told her she should not, or at least, not at the present. She had to be strong for this man who had just lost a loved one. This would be very hard for him, for all of the brothers had been extremely close to one another.  
  
Using all of her mental and physical strength, Belegwen pushed herself up from the cold marble floor and preceded to lift Rumil to his feet as well. When she finally got him up he sagged, and so she wrapped her arm tightly around his middle, refusing to leave him there for all of the world to see in his condition.  
  
"Come, dear Rumil, and I shall help you to your bed." She whispered softly. Belegwen knew from experience that there was little one could say that would comfort an elf's soul after such a loss. She could only help him find a place where he could remain undisturbed until he was ready to go on.  
  
Slowly, step by step, they made their way up the staircase. When Rumil's knees buckled, Belegwen would heave him to his feet with all of her might and they would continue on.  
  
Finally the two made it to his room. Belegwen kicked his door open and they entered, the soft blue light brightening at their presence. When the two reached the bed, Rumil simply fell onto it, now bursting with sobs anew.  
  
Gently, Belegwen lifted his feet onto the bed, not wanting to leave him half sagging off the bed. Carefully, she removed his boots from his quivering feet and laid them at his bedside. Now she found herself sitting on his bedside, stroking his hair once more.  
  
"Haldir is right; it is all my fault..." Her good ears finally picked up from him. Belegwen's eyes enlarged as she heard this. Haldir was blaming poor Rumil for Orophin's death?!?  
  
"No, no that is not true Rumil! It was the orcs fault, not yours...." Belegwen stated, pulling his face up and looking him straight in his eyes. "Your brother was just upset when he said that; do not take it seriously."  
  
"He would not even let me see him!" Rumil exclaimed, then fell back to his tears.  
  
"I'm sorry" Belegwen murmured in his ear as she stroked his soft golden locks that had lost their lustrous shine. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Belegwen sat there with him until he finally used up all of his strength and fell into a dreamless sleep. It was only then that she felt her own pain rise above the surface of her strong exterior.  
  
"Though he was never kind to me, he did not deserve such an unnatural death." She thought to herself as she gazed at the starry sky through Rumil's bedroom window. "Nobody deserves that kind of death. He did not deserve to die."  
  
Soon she could hear a beautiful lament floating through the sky, the voices of elves combined telling Orophin's valiant story. One by one, large tears filled her eyes and dripped down her cheeks as she lamented for him. Now realizing that she would need some rest, she silently left Rumil's room and went to her own, not even realizing what hardships she would face on the following day.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Did you like it? Please review and tell me your opinion. I'm sorry, Orophin fans. I guess I could have had him alive, but just a vegetable. That would have been worse though, in my opinion. I hope that you will all continue reading my story regardless of my twisting of Tolkien's world. In a way though, all fanfics are twisted, so this one really shouldn't matter.  
  
Anyways, It will probably be a couple more weeks before I update again (we start doing play dress rehearsals tomorrow). The performance will be next week. After that I should have more time. Perhaps I will squeeze in a weekend update though (I just remembered Easter Break! Yay!) Well, until then...  
  
-P.G. 


	13. Chapter 13: Taking Command

Welcome back to To Be Forever Faithful. I was surprised at all of the different reactions I got about the last chapter. In fact, it actually put up some more possibilities that I have been messing around with in my head now. Well, let's just see where I go with this. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 13: Taking Command  
  
Belegwen watched as the sun at last began to rise, casting away the shadows that lurked under the mallorn trees. She watched as the smooth leaves changed from the silver of night to the gold of day.  
  
Sleep had never claimed her that night. Belegwen's head had been so full of thoughts that she could not process anything else. Wiping away her tears that were shimmering with the early morning light, she finally sat up and looked around her room. Everything was still there, as it always was.  
  
This encouraged a small smile to grace her lips for a few seconds. At least there were a few things that remained the same. Haldir, on the other hand, would be different now. She had yet to see him after the tragedy, but she already knew it would be so.  
  
Sighing, she gently arose from her bed and dressed in her watch outfit. Silently, she pinned her hair up into the usual bun. Several pieces of hair got away from her though and hung limply around her face.  
  
Then it dawned on her. Haldir was most likely in the same condition as Rumil. If he could not lead the watch than that meant..... Belegwen's eyes widened and she dropped her comb as shock slapped her across the face.  
  
As second in command, it would be Belegwen's job to lead them.  
  
"Oh dear Valar... How will I do this?!? I know so little..." She asked her twin in the mirror, who looked back at her with no reply.  
  
Then, a soft rapping sounded upon the opposite side of her door, increasing her anxiety immensely. Belegwen slowly wandered over to the door and with shaky fingers, opened it.  
  
It was the Lord Celeborn. "My Lord." She stated in acknowledgement, then bowed slightly. He looked rather concerned, though he had good reason to be.  
  
"Belegwen, how do you fair today, caught in the middle of such horrid events?" He asked quietly, in a refined manner.  
  
"I have seen better days, my lord." She mumbled, afraid of what she knew would follow this.  
  
"I assume you already know what tidings bring me here. I have never seen Haldir in such awful shape in my life. After his parents, he carried on. This, I believe, will leave a scar on him forever though." He stated in a sad tone.  
  
"I understand." Belegwen simply replied, stating the truth of the matter.  
  
"You will be needed today, to lead his guard. Do you think you can?" He asked now, looking upon her, questioning. Belegwen frowned at his face. He looked so horribly weary, his large length of time on Middle Earth showing through his young exterior. She did not wish to disappoint him.  
  
"I can try, though I truly do not know what I am doing, my lord. I have only just begun with my training. What if I do something horribly wrong?" She asked, her uncontrollable fear finally revealing itself to Celeborn.  
  
Celeborn sighed. "I have faith that you will do your best, and that is all I can ask of you. Will you do it?"  
  
"Yes, my Lord."  
  
"Very good." He replied, "They are all waiting down there for you. I must warn you though that some of them are in a bad emotional state. If you think that they are incapable of doing the job, send them back here and I will send forth a few other guard members." With that stated, the Lord of the Woods turned away and headed down the stairs sullenly.  
  
Belegwen watched him for a few moments, then followed slowly. She felt like time was sneaking up on her as well. Her mind was determined though, and so her heart was filled with strength. She knew what had to be done and she would complete her task.  
  
At last she reached the bottom of the stairwell and turned to the outdoors. It was amazing how brightly the sun was shining. Belegwen was temporarily blinded by its warm golden rays.  
  
When her vision came back to her, she was met with a pitiful sight. There were about 20 guard elves there. They were not all in straight lines or even in upright positions. One poor soul was using his sword to lean on as he wept. If it had been any other situation, Belegwen would have thought this army pitiful. However, under the circumstances, it would have to do.  
  
Upon her arrival, many men looked up to her, a bit of strength and hope filling their eyes at the sight of a leader, even if it was a very inexperienced one. By this time, all pain had left Belegwen's face, and she stood tall and mighty at her post.  
  
"My fellow guard members, this shall be my first time leading you. I know very little, but I am prepared to try my best." She stated, projecting her voice out so that all of them could hear her. "You must do me a favor though. If you do not feel well enough to go or know that you will not be able to concentrate on the job that is at stake, I must ask you to stay behind. Do not worry though, no disrespect or shame will come to you for this. I just want my guard to be strong enough to get the job done correctly. Am I understood?"  
  
Many of them nodded, and a few replied with rather shaky 'yes ma'ams'. Knowing that she would get no better response, she motioned them on. Most of them followed her obediently.  
  
And so she led them. Over hills they went and through the forest deep. After about an hour of traveling, they arrived at the occupied destination. Gathering her courage, Belegwen approached the main watch platform. Silently, she climbed the ladder up into the shaddy tree.  
  
The Eldarin leader there turned to look at her. He was a muscular, almost burly elf with dark braided locks flowing down his back. Slightly nervous, Belegwen slowly approached him. "Um... I am here with my guard to relieve you of your duties sir."  
  
At first, he looked at her oddly, then peered over the ledge to see her group of elves, waiting patiently for her to assign their positions. "Where is Haldir?" He finally asked, a bit of confusion in his voice.  
  
"He is not in a good condition at the moment. I am his second, Belegwen. I dismiss you and your guard from their duties." She repeated, looking him square in the eyes. His eyes flickered, perhaps because a woman had ordered him, but then obeyed and performed the birdcall that told the elves that their time was up.  
  
In a few minutes, all traces of them were gone. This relieved Belegwen a great deal. She jumped down from the platform and looked over her group. She was now missing three, who must have stayed behind.  
  
"Ok, go to your regularly assigned posts. However, if your neighboring post is gone, you must check it too. A few of you will have to do that double watch. If anything is sighted, send word to me." After she finished talking, everyone dispersed into the woods.  
  
Belegwen found herself alone on the main watch platform. "Ok, I can do this", she murmured. "I can."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There we are, another quick chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free, as always, to tell me what you think. I'll probably have the next chapter up in a week or so, though I make no promises. Have a nice Easter!  
  
-P.G. 


	14. Chapter 14: Understanding

Welcome back to To Be Forever Faithful. It's been awhile; I admit it. Sorry, but I'm a busy person! I just got back from our band and choir trip to Branson, MO. If you ever get the chance to go there, go! It's great! Well, onto the next chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 14: Understanding  
  
Extremely weary were the soldiers who trudged back home in the dark of the night. Belegwen led them home, following the ever-glowing trail through the trees of silver leaves. Thankfully there had been little action during her three days out there. The only problem, in fact, had come from a few lost Edain who had tried to wander into the lady's wooden realm.  
  
They had not been troublesome either. Belegwen had simply given them the directions they needed and then they set off in the other direction, simple as that. Over and over, Belegwen mentally thanked the Valar for the relatively easy time. She was not sure if she could have handled anything more.  
  
After much toil and travel, she spotted the blue glow of the Eldarin capitol ahead. Smiling slightly, she came to a halt and turned to address her exhausted group. "You are now dismissed from your duties. Go and rest well." She said softly, then rotated around and headed to the stairway that would lead her to the lord and lady so that she could give them her report.  
  
Much time seemed to pass as she slowly put one tired foot in front of the other and she slowly ascended the spiral staircase delicately. Her mind was overflowing with aimless thoughts. What had happened while she had been away? Was Rumil ok? And Haldir? Had the two resolved their differences? Were they going to get through-  
  
"Marchwarden Belegwen, what tidings bring you up here on such a gloomy night?" Came the soft voice of Lady Galadriel from behind her. Gingerly, she turned around and looked the lady in the face. She had not realized that she had reached the top of the staircase. How long had she been standing and staring out into space?  
  
"I am here to report, ma'am." She replied at once, giving a slight bow to honor her elder's presence. "Our guard shift had very little action. The only beings we encountered were a few mortal men who were lost. We sent them on their way with directions to their destination."  
  
"Well done." The lady stated, turning away from her to look out upon her lands. Belegwen turned away and prepared to make her exit, when the lady spoke once again. "Come hither, dear Belegwen."  
  
Belegwen turned again and faced the lady who had not moved from her previous spot. Slowly, Belegwen walked up and stood by her side as she had been instructed. "What do you wish of me, my lady?" She asked calmly, looking into the darkened night sky of Middle Earth.  
  
Lady Galadriel's deep eyes caught hers for a moment, then she looked out again, this time raising a dainty arm with her index finger pointing into the great beyond of her land. "Do thy eyes witness the shattered heart out there, way beyond in the burial grounds?"  
  
"Yes, my lady." She replied, seeing the man from afar. It was poor Haldir, kneeling upon a new grave that could have only been that of Orophin's. Before she knew it, a tear came rolling down her cheek, for she had missed the services.  
  
"Noble Orophin was buried just this morning. However, Haldir refuses all of my offered comforts. I do worry about his well-being. If this continues, I fear he shall find himself in the cold halls of Mandos much before his time due to his grief."  
  
Now curving to face Belegwen, the Lady of Light continued. "Understanding is what he seeks. Speak to him, for only you comprehend his true pain."  
  
Upon hearing this, Belegwen shut her eyes and took in a deep breath as memories of pain resurfaced in her mind yet again. She knew quite well that if she did not go and fetch him tonight, he would be stay out there all night. Perhaps even longer.  
  
"Very well then, my lady."  
  
"Thank you." Galadriel stated. "Oh yes, and be prepared to take another guarding shift tomorrow. I have little trust in the leader I sent out tonight and I would like you to resume duty in the morning."  
  
"Yes ma'am. Goodnight, my lady." Belegwen replied, trying desperately to hide her disappointment about the double shift from the lady who had done so much for her. Slowly, she again hauled her feet over the stairs, wishing that she could sleep.  
  
Deep down though, she knew she would not be able to do so with Haldir out by his brother's grave. He would probably need someone to speak with, though knowing him, he would be quite stubborn about it.  
  
And so through the cool night Belegwen marched, on and on towards her destination. She walked under the silver-lighted trees and into the very heart of the forest. All was quite silent around her, other than the wind's occasional swish through the clumps of leaves on the trees. After many steps she could hear the soft swirling of Nimrodel's waters. She traveled by its wondrous side for many steps, until at last she knew she was close.  
  
The amount of trees started to dwindle as she approached the clearing. Crisp, knee-high blades of grass and beautiful wild flowers started to softly rustle around her as she entered the meadow of the deceased. The wind blew around her, almost whispering to her about all who had been at one time that lied here presently.  
  
Then she saw him, standing up tall and true. His dark shadow cast down upon the fresh plot of dirt that his sad eyes rested upon. She wondered if he sensed her presence. "Haldir?" She softly questioned, her eyes now wide with worry.  
  
Belegwen frowned when she received no answer. Tentatively, she reached out and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Come, you need some sleep." She stated while taking ahold of his arm and attemptimg to pull him free from his spot. However, his feet seemed to be firmly planted into the ground and moving suddenly did not seem like an option.  
  
"I need my brother." He whispered angrily, then yanked his arm from her grasp and took a seat in amongst the tall blades of grass. "You know not what I need."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Leave me now."  
  
"Haldir, I-"  
  
"I said leave! You do not understand!" He stated in a tone that was quite close to a yell. With this stated, Belegwen's eyes enlarged with rage and no longer realizing what she was doing, she grabbed his chin with one of her strong hands and clasped it tightly. Falling to her knees, she glared into his surprised eyes.  
  
"Oh, but I do understand Haldir. Then I was simply a happy child returning home from school. I called for my parents and brother, but they did not come and greet me as usual. I entered that flet and I saw them, Haldir. I was only 29 Haldir, but I saw them. I saw the blade marks upon their fair skin and I saw their cold blood in a puddle all around them. No words or gestures can possibly describe how I felt when I shook my father's limp body and he responded not! Nothing can!!! So before you say that I do not understand, think of who you are speaking to!!!!!" She cried out, tears welling up in her eyes. Quickly she ripped her hand from his chin, trying to resume her angry state, but to no avail.  
  
Then, Belegwen was not quite sure how it happened, but she found herself in his strong embrace, and he was sobbing upon her shoulder. Gently, she wrapped her arms around him as she blinked away her tears, leaving them unshed. She had finally gotten through to him and they had both finally found some understanding.  
  
Just as suddenly as before though, another surprise hit her as his cool lips found hers and gently kissed hers. All time seemed to stop for Belegwen as she felt the soft tingling sensation upon her lips. Seeking the comfort that he was obviously receiving from the closeness, she too joined in and they both felt the world's pain and loss fall away from them for just a few seconds.  
  
But finally, it all ended and she found herself staring into his dark eyes with her hands gently cradling his cheeks. "Never forget that I understand." She stated, then parted from him, rising to her feet in a slightly shaky manner. "Come, for you need time and rest to heal thy weeping heart."  
  
Nothing more was said, but he followed her directions with his mind obviously somewhere else. She wrapped her arm around him to support him, as his legs were much shakier than hers. A few times they had to stop, as he would collapse with fits of tears. Eventually though, the two made it to the top of the stairs, and he into his rightful bed where his weary soul could find a dark and dreamless sleep and perhaps a bit of relief from his tension.  
  
Belegwen, however, was so filled with uncertainties and uneasiness that sleep never befell her that night.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There's another chapter! Please feel free to tell me what you think. I'll try to update soon. Believe me, this story is far from over! Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	15. Chapter 15: Attack

Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. School is finally beginning to come to an end. Yay! This is my belated-birthday/early one- year anniversary special. I'll try to make this chapter longer, though that is definitely not a guarantee. For those of you complaining about my slow updates, I'm sorry. I do have a life and school is never easy during May. I'll try harder this summer. Well, enjoy the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 15: Attack  
  
Morning. The bright sun arose over the treetops, its creamy light flowing down through the trees, creating leafy shadows on the forest floor. A single person walked through it all, followed by her own tall, dark shadow.  
  
Belegwen sighed as she squinted in the sunlight. She was so tired and confused. So many things had happened so quickly the night before that she was not even sure if what she remembered was reality. "That kiss... Was that just comfort, or was it something more?" She murmured to herself as she hiked up a tall wooded hill towards the northern border.  
  
All she was truly aware of was her exhaustion. She had now not slept in four days and was about to go another three without it. "I hope this shift will be as uneventful as the last", she quietly stated to herself as she at last saw the main guard post tree. Finding some energy, she broke into a slow jog to reach it quicker.  
  
Her calloused hands took hold of the hidden Eldarin-rope ladder and she hoisted herself up the steps slowly. She came face to face with a rather fair blonde-headed elf. She did not know who it was. He simply smiled at her as she stood up on the platform.  
  
"You are the leader sent by the Lady, right? You are here to take over for me?" He asked, visibly glad to get out of the extra responsibility.  
  
"Yes", Belegwen responded.  
  
"Very well then. I shall go finish my post at one of the other guard stands." He stated, then, not bothering to use the ladder, jumped down off the post. Belegwen watched wearily as he snuck off down the line of trees to one of the far posts before resuming watch. All would be well, provided she did not fall asleep on the job.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"...What the...?" Belegwen murmured. Suddenly her mind became much more aware of her surroundings. The ground was...shaking?!? This was not a good sign.  
  
Immediately she jumped to her feet and looked out into the night. There was a blazing light in the far, far distance. It was not that of the sun though, but the light of many flaming torches. Leaning forward dangerously, Belegwen peered towards the light, squinting to see what was in the distance.  
  
Finally she made out what it was, then gasped and jumped back. Orcs. A large herd of them. There had to be hundreds of them out there! Perhaps more! Never before had she seen so many orcs together at once!!! As the rumbling got started to get heavier, Belegwen speedily jumped into the next tree.  
  
Heledhril jumped out of surprise when she landed in the tree. She ignored this. "Heledhril!" She whispered urgently, grasping his shoulders for emphasis, "There are orcs approaching! We're going to need major backup. Run and notify as many soldiers as you can! Send them all up here! Now go!" With that said, she flipped back into her own tree.  
  
Her breathing was no longer steady, but she stuck her hand in her mouth anyway, attempting to make the emergency bird call for her guard. It worked. She projected it at all directions, hoping that the orcs would not notice. They were going to be there in less than five minutes, for they were running. If any of the soldiers had not heard her call, surely they would have noticed the light or rumbling by now she assumed.  
  
Adjusting her fingers, she made a different call. It told all of her soldiers to load their bows and fire upon her next call. Yanking her hand from her mouth, she quickly took out her bow and loaded it with three arrows. Her hand quivered with fear as the rumbling was now shaking her deck, the excess arrows and lembas were rattling on the wooden platform.  
  
Sweat dripped down Belegwen's face, but she ignored it. She would have to give the signal soon. They were coming in fast now. She could hear their blood curdling screams and see their disgusting faces in the orange firelight. Her heart beat faster and faster as she realized they would not be able to hear her bird call over all of this ruckus.  
  
Her eyes widened. "I shall have to scream it and give away my hiding place..." She stated to herself, fear dancing in her dimly lit eyes. "Oh dear Vala..." She whispered.  
  
Then, with all of the might she could muster up, her raw voice screamed, "FIRE!!!" It was at that moment that all of Mandos broke loose. The normally calm night was filled with screams of agony as the arrows soared swiftly through the air and hit their targets, the first line of orcs falling. However, they were simply trampled by the next wave.  
  
There were simply too many of them for twenty guard members to take on. As the front lines kept falling, the others came closer and closer, some even ducking and dodging all of the arrows deftly. Soon they were climbing up her tree, their fires scorching its lovely branches.  
  
Out of arrows and time, Belegwen could only grab up her sword and fight them as they came. They had all heard her shout and her tree was swarming with them. She flung her sword back and forth, beheading two, then gouging one through the stomach. Slimy blue blood dripped off her face and sword as she flailed wildly, as they kept coming and coming.  
  
Rapidly Belegwen was growing somnolent; her normal accuracy and speed was no longer what it usually was. She was becoming sloppy. There were now 12 orcs crowded on her small dec and more halfway up the tree. Belegwen was being totally overwhelmed.  
  
She screamed and jumped back as she felt a burning sensation on her foot. Quickly, she kicked the fallen torch off of the dec, though it had already done its damage. Flames started to jump up beside her. She could feel the heat of the smoke on her face and smell the revolting scent of her burnt foot.  
  
Suddenly, Belegwen gasped as strong hands grasped around her neck, claws sinking into her fair skin. There were orcs swarming all around her, touching her, clawing her... One was on fire... She couldn't breathe... Her sword... Air...  
  
Pain unexpectedly hit her hard and she fell over out of the tree, taking a hard landing to the ground. She started gasping and sputtering, her hands trying to find the source of pain. Her side...Nimrodel was sticking out of her side! "Oh dear Valar..." She whispered weakly, her jaw quivering. Grabbing Nimrodel, she yanked it out of herself and screamed as the hurt filled her world.  
  
Slowly her vision started to dim. Another orc was standing above her. With the little strength that she had left, she proceeded to jab him through the chest with her sword, purple from a combination of elf and orc blood.  
  
Fading...everything just faded away slowly...  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"OH DEAR VALA!!!" Rumil screamed as he stepped on an Eldarin body that was sprawled across the ground. "Belegwen! Belegwen, do you hear me?!? Speak to me Belegwen!!" He cried out as he shook her limp body. She was bleeding so much...  
  
Tears filled his eyes, running down his face making paths through the orc blood that covered it. Through all the fire and chaos, his face was filled with worry for only her. "Not you too! You are my good friend; you cannot leave! Not yet!" He stated, then without another thought, grabbed her up and started to run towards the capitol, slashing orcs with his free hand as he came upon them. Nothing slowed him down: not forest foliage or the flames. He used all of his power and got to his destination in record time.  
  
"Please live Belegwen, please!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There we have it. Feel free to comment, as always. Yes, I know, it wasn't much longer than normal. Sorry. I'll also try to update sooner this time. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	16. Chapter 16: Alarm and Chaos

Welcome back to my fic! How nice of you to come. I must thank you for all of the nice comments I have been receiving lately. I'm glad that you all like it. Well, in honor of all of this, here is a new chapter for you to enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 16: Alarm and Chaos  
  
Eltirwen jumped out of her bed immediately upon hearing screams for help outside of her flet. Not even bothering to put a robe over her silken, wine colored nightdress, she flew down the hall, unaffected by the darkness, towards the alarmed caller. Her feet reached the doorway just as the door flew open, making her jump back in shock.  
  
"Eltirwen!" The elf cried, hoisting himself and a limp figure up into the flet, "Please Eltirwen, hurry!!!"  
  
The healer, however, could already tell that the person he was holding was in critical condition. "Follow me!" She exclaimed, running towards her healing room as fast as her graceful legs could carry her. Upon entering she immediately went and threw her hair into something of a bun, then washed her hands speedily. "Set her on the bed!" She called back to the figure who she thought was Rumil, if she had seen correctly.  
  
"What now?!?" He called back to her, obviously as worked up as she was. She stared over her shoulder as she started mixing herbs in a frenzy to make a disinfectant.  
  
"Light some candles!" She yelled, pointing with her free hand towards a small box of them that was lying neatly on the bed table. She then turned her full attention to her concoction, which was sloshing messily out of its beaker as she stirred it with immense speed.  
  
Though time was of the essence, she allowed herself a small glance out the window, which then led to a disbelieving stare that was accompanied with a gasp. The forest was on fire! She could see red and oranges flames shooting up out of the silvery woods. "Rumil, awake the other healers and sound the alarms!!! There is a fire out there! Hurry Rumil, there is no more you can do here!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"GO RUMIL, NOW!!!" She screeched at him. He took one last nervous glance towards Belegwen, then ran out of the room as fast as he could.  
  
"Oh dear Valar..." Eltirwen moaned as she hurried over to Belegwen, spilling half of her mixture on the floor. As she set the glass jar on the table, she quickly went and took Belegwen's pulse. However, she was only slightly relieved to find a small, hesitant one there and quickly went to look over her wounds. Not wasting any time, she ripped the remainder of her shirt off, then delicately removed the fabric that was stuck onto the wound with blood.  
  
"This is significant blood loss... Oh dear Belegwen, I told you not to come back here for a while..." She muttered to herself, her large auburn eyes filled with worry. What if she lost her?  
  
"Come on Belegwen..." She whispered as she applied the medicine to her wounds, "You're a fighter, I know you are. You can make it... You can live."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"HELP!!! HELP!!! ALL SOLDIERS, YOUR HELP IS NEEDED!!!!!" Upon hearing this, Haldir bolted up from his bed. Oh no...  
  
Grabbing some leggings and jumping into them, he quickly stumbled over to the doorway and out into the hallway to see what was going on. Once he got into the hallway, he was nearly trampled by soldiers running this way and that chaotically.  
  
Searching around the corner, he ran right into the elf who was crying out the warnings. "Heledhril! What is the meaning of this?!? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?" He bellowed, quite annoyed, yet alarmed at what was happening around him.  
  
Heledhril did not look like he was in good shape at all. His face was a ghastly shade of white and he was literally gasping for breath. "Sir... Orcs sir... Hundreds are attacking the northern border... Fire as well..."  
  
Haldir did not need to hear any more. Not bothering to grab a shirt or his sword, he flew down the stairs at a speed unimaginable, pushing elves out of the way as necessary. If all of Mandos was going to break loose, he was going to be there to take it on. Out the door and into the woods he ran, his blonde hair totally unpinned and flying every which way crazily.  
  
He could see the blazing in the woods ahead, though all he truly needed to do was follow the shouts of agony. Amidst the pandemonium he saw an orc with a sword sticking out of its chest. Without a second to spare, he pulled the sword out of the hideous creature and removed its head, putting it out of its misery and then heading off to help with whatever he could.  
  
Looking to his right, he saw a small group of orcs starting to head towards the capitol. "Not a chance." He growled, running after them. They would not make it to the civilians and his Lord and Lady. He simply would not allow such a thing to occur. No other elves were going to have to suffer as he did if he had any say in the matter.  
  
The first two of the group were much too slow and were beheaded almost immediately. The other two were a bit more clever though, weaving through the trees, trying to confuse him. He launched his sword at the farthest one, impaling him within the second. The last one he pounced upon and tackled; the two rolled painfully through some tree branches and into a body of water that could only be the Nimrodel itself. Without even thinking about it, Haldir grabbed the orc roughly and shoved its head under the sweet waves until no more bubbles arose.  
  
Gasping slightly for breath and wiping orc blood from his eyes, the now soaking Haldir trudged up the bank and retrieved the sword for a second time. He looked up to see the burning of the trees that he so much loved, ashes expelling from them with every second that went by.  
  
"No..." He murmured with utter disbelief as he saw one of the trees fall to nothingness. Everything was going wrong. People were running amuck, even some civilians were out here amongst the chaos. Distantly he could here the alarms going off as over the roaring flames and yelling voices.  
  
"Haldir, direct the onlookers away from the peril." Came a soft, but stern voice in his head. Lady Galadriel. Suddenly he realized that he had just been standing amidst everything doing nothing at all. He quickly went about obeying the lady's order, showing the upset elves back to their flets. Every once and a while, a lone orc would come by and he would kill it.  
  
Soon he could see many Eldarin soldiers taking water from Nimrodel, making several attempts to put out the inferno. Seeing no more bystanders, Haldir quickly joined them. An elf swiftly handed him two large buckets full of water, which he accepted with his puissant arms and promptly made it up the hill to extinguish some of the flames.  
  
The hours seemed to drag by and the night lasted so long as he went up and down that hill over and over with water buckets splashing in his aching arms. On and on he went, though progress was very slow. Smoke filled his lungs over and over, leading to fits of coughing and exhaustion, though he knew in his heart that he could not stop until the job was done.  
  
Finally, as the very first signs of daylight started to appear, the task was complete. Fatigued and vulnerable, he fell into a sitting position up against a slightly scorched tree, sitting in a puddle of damp ashes. He coughed and sputtered, closing his eyes for a few seconds before coming back again. At last, all was well.  
  
All around him still, a few people were even now running about crazily. Not wishing to look at this unruly scene any longer, he found himself staring down at his bloody hands and the sword that was in them. Suddenly, a look of disbelief crossed his face. "What...but this is...?"  
  
For just at that moment, he realized the sword he had carried all night was none other than the infamous Nimrodel.  
  
"Belegwen!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to comment on it. I'll try to update soon. Have a nice weekend!  
  
-P.G. 


	17. Chapter 17: Carrying On

Welcome back! Do you get sick of hearing the same thing up here over and over? Sorry. I'll try and think of something different to put up here. While your waiting though, here's another chapter for you to enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or The Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 17: Carrying On  
  
Haldir begin to search back through all of the smoldering trees. At last, he had realized that he had never seen her during the pandemonium that the previous night had held. This worried him immensely, for Belegwen was not one who hid in the face of danger. He would have expected her to be right out there with everyone else, slaying orcs and extinguishing the fire.  
  
Something must have happened to her; she would not have just left Nimrodel sticking out of some orc. The sword meant too much to her, since it was a gift from the Lord and Lady of Lorien. Belegwen had never treated that blade with anything other than care.  
  
The question was though, what had happened to her? And did she need some help? If so, why had he not seen her body on the ground by the sword? Haldir eyes were normally quite keen when it came to details. Could he have possibly ran right by her during her time of need?  
  
As Haldir came to the edge of the woods, he squinted his eyes to try and make out what was happening through the thick clouds of smoke that were hanging low, like mist, all throughout Caras Galadhon and its surrounding forest. There was disturbing silence; not even a bird was chirping in this gloomy morning. Nevertheless, he could make out the shadows of several elves waiting in something of a line.  
  
"What is this for?" He muttered to himself in a hushed tone as he approached the scene. He nearly gasped as he finally got close enough to see what it was: a very lengthy line to the healer's flets. Most of the Eldarin people that were in line were guard members, people that he recognized and some that he even knew by name. Some of the members had their eternal wives by their sides, holding them as if it was the end of Middle Earth. Some of them were weeping while others were trying to comfort their husbands who were in great pain from wounds. There were even a few young elves out there, though they made no noise, as if sensing the tension and mood that was surrounding them.  
  
Alas, all did not seem to be going well. There were too many injuries for the healers to obviously handle. The flets seemed to be full of people, and here they were trying to fit even more in. A few of the less experienced ones were out weaving through the line, helping those who had minor injuries as best as they could. Softly, Haldir sighed. If Belegwen was in one of these, he would never be able to find her. There was no room for him to get in the way.  
  
Haldir could not help but notice though that the flet on the end, Eltirwen's, seemed to have no signs of life coming out of it at all. "How odd..." He mumbled as he headed out towards it, breaking into a soundless jog. Upon arrival in front of the ladder, he came face to face with a sign written with rushed Elvish characters. It read 'It is futile that you do not disturb my work at this time'.  
  
"What..." Then, without a second thought, Haldir totally ignored the sign and climbed up the rope ladder skillfully, his aching arms screaming for him to stop the entire way up. Eltirwen was used to him disregarding her rules anyway; she would not mind too much.  
  
He had been expecting her to jump out and yell at him upon his arrival, but was surprised when this usual occurrence did not happen. Silently, he opened the door and entered the flet gingerly. It was dark, no candles lit at all. An eerie breeze was blowing through the open part of the flet, rustling some loose papers that were scattered around sloppily. Slowly, Haldir crossed through the room, careful not to disturb anything and started down the hallway  
  
The sickening aroma of stale blood hit him immediately as he turned the corner. His foot hit something that let out a little crunching sound. Haldir looked down to see a messy pile of clothing that was encrusted with deep purple blood. Scrunching his nose with disgust, he easily stepped over the mess and continued on down the hallway, glancing into empty rooms as he came upon them.  
  
Finally, he noticed a soft glow coming from one on the left, the second room from the end. Cautiously, he leaned forward and glanced in. There was Eltirwen, her back turned to him, leaning over a petite, limp body that was laying there lifelessly upon the table.  
  
Belegwen. This is what he had been fearing all along. Somewhat in a state of shock, Haldir ambled over to the her bed, looking at her with large, anxious eyes. She was so pale in the grey morning light, her face an ashen shade of white. Inside, his mind was screaming, hoping his automatic assumption was not true.  
  
Gradually, his eyes moved to Eltirwen. She appeared quite weary, almost mortal at first glance. He could see her hand clutching Belegwen's limp one, soft words coming from her mouth, directed at the body. If she had noticed his entrance, she had not acknowledged it.  
  
Beside him, an old candle flickered continually, until it finally was puffed out for good by the chilly breeze. Not that there was much candle left to burn anyway; all of the lit candles in the room were nearly burnt out, their waxes running dry and wicks growing short.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, Haldir seated himself in a nearby chair, pulling it up to the other side of Belegwen. Tentatively, he took her icy hand between both of his. His head slightly bowed as he started to gently caress her hand between his. Tears were now threatening to fall down his face, as he felt down her wrist for a pulse. There was the littlest one there, which made him sigh for a second, though his breathing was still labored with shock.  
  
She was dying; he could tell. For a small while he just sat there, listening to Eltirwen try to convince her to stay, but then soon joined in a soft, begging voice. "Belegwen, it is not your time to go to Mandos... You are still needed here, in the forest. Please, do not leave..."  
  
He then paused, no longer hearing Eltirwen's voice along with his. He looked up to find her staring at him. "You are not supposed to be here." She stated in a calm, laidback manner, as if she was too tired to argue with him upon this occasion.  
  
"I know." He stated, not really knowing what else he could say. "Is she going to make it?"  
  
"I know not. She has made little progress throughout the night. Unless she starts to improve any, she will be gone within the next two hours." She whispered softly, tears welling up in her auburn eyes.  
  
"I see." Haldir stated gravely, looking back down at her face. "Is there nothing more you can do?"  
  
"No, I have done all I can. The rest is up to her."  
  
This was followed with a long period of silence. Both elves looked down at her once again. Haldir stared into her eyes; the azure orbs had lost their shine and luster. Now they were just there, open as if she was simply sleeping, though Haldir knew better than that.  
  
"The other healers are being overwhelmed out there." Haldir then stated, "They could really use your help right now. I could..." He started to suggest, but then his words trailed off into nothingness.  
  
"Do they?" She murmured, a sense of duty suddenly appearing in her eyes. She knew what she needed to do, deep down within her soul. "You would watch her for me?" She asked in a muffled voice as she looked out the window towards the great crowds outside of the other flets.  
  
"I shall."  
  
"Very well then", she said softly, gently pushing some of her stray brunette hairs out of her face and placing them back behind her gently pointed ear. "Just come and tell me if anything happens, and I mean anything." She stated, then looking back just once, hustled out the door.  
  
"Belegwen..." He muttered softly, his full attention now going to her. "It is not your time to leave. We all need you here. Please..." He murmured into her ear softly, resuming his gentle hold upon her hand.  
  
There were so many feelings going through his head at that moment. The thought that she might die was bringing back all of his previous wonderments. Did he have feelings for her other than friendship? Was this why he felt such pain inside upon seeing her like this? He knew that half a year ago this would not have meant anything to him. He would have simply paid his respects, then muttered good riddance. Then, she had meant nothing.  
  
But now, she felt like everything. She understood what others, even his brother, did not. "No, please Belegwen, it was hard enough loosing Orophin! I do not wish to loose you too..." He said softly, holding her hand tightly now. "Please stay! I cannot take all of these unnatural deaths! You were meant to stay here! Do not leave me as Orophin did...please..."  
  
No longer being able to take the pain, he leaned up against her bed and wept. Hope was never on his side... Why did so many bad things happen to him?!? "Come back Belegwen...please...please stay!" He sobbed into the soft linen sheets, squeezing her hand as if he could hold her onto Middle Earth by doing so.  
  
There were other feelings. He knew it, though he did not know how to express it. What if it was too late?  
  
"Haldir..."  
  
Immediately his head snapped up as his name was whispered into the silence. There she was, looking at him with her drained eyes. The blood drained out of his face and his breathe caught in his mouth as he saw come to life right in front of his face in the drab morning light. Her voice was dry and wispy, but it was there and that is what counted!  
  
"Belegwen! Oh, please stay; do not leave..." He said, his eyes wide and watery, looking at her with deep sincerity. He clutched at her pallid hand again, trying to offer her some reassurance.  
  
"I am going to carry on Haldir... Worry not..." She murmured, lifting her hands up to his face ever so slowly. He noticed her cringing at the pain, her eyes squinted as the ache rippled throughout her body.  
  
"Do not do that!" He stated, wishing she would stay still, the tears of relief refusing to leave. However, he did not try to hold her back, not wanting to injure her any more.  
  
"No, come here..." She bid him, taking his head and bringing it down to her supple chest feebly. Weak after feeling so many emotions, Haldir gave in and allowed her to stroke his hair while he cried. He could feel her feeble fingers combing through his locks in a frail manner. The now somewhat steady rise and fall of her chest somewhat comforted him as he knew she was alive. However, he could feel her freezing skin through the sheer sheet that separated them; her shivers were worrying him greatly.  
  
"Are you sure you will live...? You are so cold..." He asked airily, so lowly that it was not even quite a whisper. "You have scared me so badly tonight..." He stated, blinking the tears from his eyes.  
  
"I shall carry on Haldir..." She said in an undertone, slowly drifting back into sleep, "I shall carry on..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Wow, that turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. I hope you enjoyed it. I will try to update soon, as always. Have a lovely day, even if it is raining as it is here!  
  
-P.G. 


	18. Chapter 18: ‘It’

Welcome back! I trust you all enjoyed the previous chapter? Thanks for sticking with me. Here's another chapter for you too enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I am not associated with Tolkien Enterprises, nor do I claim ownership to Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 18: 'It'  
  
Sitting up against a strong tree, the smoke wafting in clouds above him, Haldir sat silently. His mind was racing; he knew he should be thinking about how they were going to clean up the mess of dead trees, but his thoughts kept slipping away from the subject as water slips out of cupped hands.  
  
Belegwen. He could not quit thinking of her. After she had fell back into a peaceful slumber, he had crept out and alerted Eltirwen of the occurrence. Immediately, she had snapped into her normal, hopeful self and ran up to check on her. When Haldir had followed, she proceeded to shoo him out, not wanting him to be in the way.  
  
At least most of the civilians had now been taken care of. No longer was there a great line of Elves outside of the healer's flets. However, there were people laying on the ground and being treated since there was no more room in the healer's flets. Haldir had a feeling that they would be sent to Eltirwen's after a while though. All would be well, sooner or later.  
  
On the other hand, there were dead corpses laying strewn about the entire vicinity. Most of the deceased were orcs, though there were a few Eldarin casualties. This saddened Haldir to no end. What were their wives thinking right now? Did they even know?  
  
The smell was starting to drift through the forest and into Caras Galadhon. The orcs would need to be burned and the other bodies buried. Plus, the dead trees would need to be disposed of and new guard posts would have to be built, for most of them were scorched by the inferno.  
  
For now though, Haldir was simply content sitting at Nimrodel's bank, cleaning off the sword that bared the same name as the body of water. Worry was showing through his normally calm demeanor. She would not quit popping into his mind. So pale she had appeared when he had last seen her. Her skin was normally quite fair, but it was not regularly a pallid white. Nor had her eyes shimmered with their usual determination. Belegwen's hair had been just as dull as her eyes, having lost its silvery luster.  
  
Would she make it? Haldir knew not, and he sighed with this realization. Gracefully, he sprang up from his seat on the waterside and shoved the sword in its sheath. He was now aware that he would have to check on her before he could go about and do anything else. Haldir tore away from the river edge, forgetting about his weariness, and ran up the hill once more, her clean sword in hand.  
  
It took him little time at all to arrive at his destination. Unhurried were his steps up the rope ladder, now not quite sure if he truly wanted to know of her condition. He arrived in the dark room again, which was still a mess with papers flying every which way, scattering themselves about the room in a not-so-orderly manner.  
  
Haldir totally ignored this, however, and started down the hallway. Just as he was about to enter the room, an enervated face suddenly popped into his way from inside of the room. "Just the elf I was needing..." Stated a horrible-looking Eltirwen. Her hair was in a knotty mess, pieces streaming down her face in disarray. At last, Haldir finally noticed that she was still in her pajamas, which were now bloodstained from the work she had been doing. Was this truly the respectable Eltirwen that he enjoyed annoying to no end?  
  
"There are elves laying on the ground outside that us healers have already tended to. I need you to bring them up here and put them in the rooms." She continued groggily, then quickly went back to what she was doing.  
  
Haldir stood there for only a few seconds before going and doing as he was told. One by one, he carried them all up the ladder and placed them on the beds that were in each room. His arms began to ache again from carrying so much dead weight after the water carrying he had done the previous night. The elves were quite grateful though, for their beds in the soil had been rather uncomfortable. After being thanked by them for it, he did not feel as fatigued and was in better spirits.  
  
The gray skies, however, stayed put as if they did not wish to let any sunlight shine through the dreary clouds. The sky was filled with a murky, melancholy light. Haldir longed for the fresh air and warm sunrays of yesterday as he climbed up the ladder with the final injured guard member. Once the elf was settled into his temporary bed, he headed back down the hall to Belegwen's room again...only to be stopped by Eltirwen again.  
  
"Are you finished?" She questioned jadedly. One of her hands rested on the side of the door and the other hung down at her side limply. Then, suddenly, the healer in her burst into life again as she gasped at him. "You have not been taken care of yet! And here I had you doing errands with that shoulder..." She exclaimed, hustling him into the room before he could react.  
  
He glanced down at his shoulder for the first time and wrinkled his nose with disgust. Haldir had not noticed that he had been slashed... When had this happened?  
  
No wonder his shoulder had hurt so badly while carrying those elves up the ladder.  
  
Eltirwen rushed over with a homemade antiseptic and a bowl of warm water complete with a rag in it, afloat. Mentally, Haldir cringed as she wiped away the dried blood that was encrusted upon his wound. Nevertheless, he managed to keep a straight face through the whole thing, refusing to show any pain on his face.  
  
"How's she doing?" He asked as she poured antiseptic into his injury, assuming that Eltirwen would know of whom he spoke.  
  
"Better", she muttered as she analyzed the severity of the slash. "She's still going to need some time off of work though, buster." She stated firmly, already knowing that he would try to get her out early.  
  
Eltirwen then got up off of her small wooden stool and walked over to the cabinets on the far side, then proceeded to rummage through them for something. Haldir's eyes drifted away from her to Belegwen in her bed. He could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept, proving that she was still there. It was quite a relief to know that she was doing a bit better, though he was still not really sure why.  
  
'Whatever that feeling was, I must have just imagined it.' Haldir thought to himself as Eltirwen returned with a needle and started to stitch him up.  
  
"Looks like you are going to have another battle scar, mister tough elf." She stated sarcastically as she stitched. Obviously she was not too badly off, otherwise she would not have her sense of humor.  
  
Finally the annoying pricking ceased as Eltirwen bandaged him up. "Was that the only one?" She questioned, not really directing it towards him though. She circled around him a couple of times before deeming him good to go.  
  
Then, she surprised him with a new request. "Wait, Haldir, will you watch over these people for a little while so I can go and clean up a bit?" She inquired, looking him straight in the eyes, awaiting an answer.  
  
Haldir found himself unable to say no. Eltirwen had done so much for him and his men and even his Belegwen in the last night that he could not refuse.  
  
Wait a second... His Belegwen?!?  
  
Haldir's confusion slapped him in the face yet again as Eltirwen exited, saying something about being in the Northern bathhouse in case he needed her. He paid her no heed though as his thoughts had converted back to Belegwen.  
  
What was he going to do about this? No matter how much denied it, it was still there! He was not even sure of what 'it' really was though. All he knew was that he was feeling more concern than was normal over his second in command. What was happening to him?!?  
  
Still mystified over this, Haldir grabbed up Eltirwen's stool and set it down by Belegwen's sleeping body. It was there that he sat and began to inspect the damage that was inflicted upon her. Not wishing to look as if bad intentions were going through his head, he did not lift her blanket, just looked at her flaccid body. One of her small feet was bandaged; he could tell because of the size difference. He could make out a few purplish bruises on her fair shoulders, which stuck out of the blanket.  
  
Surely these things were not life threatening though. What else could be wrong with her?  
  
He wished he knew so that perhaps he could do something for her. When she awakened from her slumber, he would have to inquire about what had happened that past night.  
  
He stared at Belegwen's limp body, only moving in order to breathe. Gently, he placed his hand in her drab hair and stroked it soothingly. She did not react to it at all, her ashen features remaining still. In a way, this was a relief to him. He did not wish for her to know about whatever this was between them. At least, not yet... Not until he understood it.  
  
Whatever 'it' happened to be.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Did you enjoy it? I hope so. Sorry, I was at camp last week, so there were no updates. I'll try to get the next one up soon, as nobody else seems to really be updating their Haldir fics at fanfiction.net (At least, not the one's I normally read. If someone recommends me a fic to read, I would highly appreciate it as I have grown quite bored lately.). Have a nice day!  
  
-Ponytail Goddess 


	19. Chapter 19: Fresh Air

Yo. I'm back with another chapter! Mainly because nobody wants to employ 16 year olds!!! Grrrr... All that paperwork for nothing... It angers me to no end. Oh well, enjoy...  
  
Disclaimer: I am not associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 19: Fresh Air  
  
Belegwen sighed as she awoke to the same dull scenery of the healer's room again. Though she was still quite weak, she desired more than anything to be outside. However, she had to suffice with just looking out the window in the room while brooding over her condition.  
  
'I should be out there with everyone else helping cleanup.' She thought, guilt passing over her face. Just yesterday she had awaken for the first time in four days and heard of the tragic events that had unfolded on the fateful night. In a way, she felt that she was to blame, for she had not done a great job at commanding. Eltirwen had seen this though and tried to tell her that it was not so. Nevertheless, she still wished she could have done more.  
  
Again, Belegwen tipped her head towards the window. The glass had a grayish tint to it, as if the smoke had kissed it during the time it had lingered in Lorien. Yet, one could still see out of it fairly well. With her sharp sapphire eyes, she could see the through the thick, healthy wood all the way into the burnt part. Over there were several elves, all working on cleaning up the forest. She laid there and watched as several were chopping down a blackened tree.  
  
"How sad", she murmured, wondering how many trees would be gone when she got out of this flet. The great mallorn tree was only found in Lothlorien. Belegwen knew that she would hate to see the exotically beautiful trees die out. She had seen a few of the trees that grew outside of the forest before, only to find that they were a dull green that did not shimmer as these native trees did. Indeed, the day that the mallorn died out would be sad.  
  
A small smile touched the edges of her mouth as she watched one of the soldiers pretended to saw down a scorched tree with his sword. Immediately, he was reprimanded by the Marchwarden who was in charge of the area.  
  
'Hmm...I wonder why Haldir is not out there.' She thought to herself as she continued to watch the action. 'He was out there yesterday.'  
  
If only she could go outside. Groaning, she attempted to roll over a bit for a better view, only to have pain shoot through her middle. Cringing, she fell back to where she had been, her eyes closing then opening partially again. She turned her head back to the window in time to see the singed tree fall as the guard members gracefully avoided its path. It made a loud lurching noise, then hit the ground with a crash that she could almost feel.  
  
Belegwen now sensed the presence of another in the room. Carefully and silently, she twisted her head and neck in the other direction. "Commander", she gasped with surprise. "What brings you here?" She stated in a raw voice, having not spoken to anyone for quite a while.  
  
He just stood there for a few seconds, staring at her. His fair face was devoid of all emotions, leaving her with nothing to read as usual. Belegwen could not help wondering what was going through his head as he gazed at her. He was so mysterious at times...  
  
Grabbing a nearby stool, he pulled it up and sat down beside her silently. "How are you?" He finally asked, his voice disturbingly soft. She then became aware of his hand resting upon her exposed wrist, clutching it gently.  
  
"Weary", she murmured, "but better than before." Belegwen met his gaze and held it; blue eyes met shimmering blue eyes and found a bit of understanding. No words were spoken, but both felt as though something had occurred right then and there.  
  
Finally, Belegwen broke the stare, closing her eyes to rest them for a few moments. When she opened them, he was no longer looking at her, but out the stained window. "What keeps you from being out there commander?" she muttered, her curiosity prevailing over her fatigued mind.  
  
"I am helping Eltirwen. She needed someone to watch you while she showers and runs a few errands." He stated gently, looking at her once again.  
  
"How nice of you." Belegwen whispered. "How goes your cleanup?"  
  
"It is well. We are still taking down trees and pilling them up to burn. It is a rather miserable sight to behold though." He said, giving her hand a little squeeze.  
  
Stillness filled the room again. Belegwen looked around the room again, having nothing better to do. It was somewhat dark and dreary in its own little way. The cabinets that filled it were a dull shade of mahogany, as if the wood had been worn with time. Very little light flowed through her one window. Again she breathed in the stale and musty smell that accompanied the room. The air was musty and warm, not enjoyable.  
  
"Commander Haldir?" She questioned now, watching his gleaming eyes fall upon her face once more. "Would it be too much to ask if you would take me outside?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Her eyes were so clear at that moment, so sincere. He was slightly startled by her request, but found himself unable to say no. However, when he went about to attempt to lift her, he was unsure of how to do it without hurting her. "I am not sure if Eltirwen would approve of this Belegwen." He stated, looking down at her.  
  
"Have you ever let that stop you before?" She questioned airily, raising an eyebrow weakly. Not being able to argue, he wrapped his arms around her and her mess of sheets as carefully as possible and lifted her up easily.  
  
He nearly dropped her back down when she gasped. He looked her straight in the eyes, questioning. She, however, simply kept her eyes closed and wrapped her arms around his neck lightly, her head leaned up against his shoulder gently. Though not really satisfied with this answer, Haldir gracefully walked down the hallway and opened the door.  
  
Immediately, the cool breeze hit them and Haldir looked down at her. She had not moved from her previous look, other than a smile gracing her soft pink lips as she looked into the horizon soundlessly. Gently, he carried her around the veranda until they were at a spot where nobody would see them, for he was just now realizing that she was only dressed in a few shear sheets.  
  
Smoothly, he found a seat on the floor of the terrace, maneuvering her to a resting position in his lap. "Comfortable?" He asked softly.  
  
She nodded, her soft silvery locks blowing softly with the breezes. They were so close that he could feel her breathing ever so softly. For the first time, he seemed to notice that she was not truly unattractive at all. With her hair clean and down as it was, she appeared quite lovely, in his eyes anyway.  
  
Why had not he noticed this before?  
  
Finally, she opened her eyes, the large azure orbs looking into his own of the same color. He felt her soft movement as her mouth came close to his ear, her soft warm breath against it. "Thank you", she murmured faintly, "I have longed to be out here for a long time."  
  
He now nodded, not being able to find any words to describe exactly what he was feeling at the moment. Was this simply a dream? She looked as if she could have been, dressed in the silky white sheets that she held up against her chest with a single hand. The sheets blew a bit too, exposing a bit of her legs every little while, then covering them back up as if teasing him.  
  
He felt his body shiver. He knew he was crying; he could feel the warm tears rolling down his cheeks, yet he did not care. She had lived, surpassing everyone's expectations. For the first time, someone he cared for had made it. "You are still here." He murmured, stating the obvious, needing to hear it said out loud.  
  
But then, an unanticipated cold hand touched his cheek, brushing the tears away gently. "I thought for sure you were gone..." He mumbled, staring mindlessly down at her body, trying to avoid her kindly eyes.  
  
"Do not fret over me, for I am still here." She whispered, then her lips covered his own, filling his body with a warmth that he had never felt before.  
  
Soft were her kisses, gentle but intense with emotion. "My lady...", he muttered, pulling her even closer, feeling her pressed gently against him. Her arms wrapped around him tenderly as they continued the state of bliss.  
  
Finally, he pulled her away to catch his breath. "I must get you in before Eltirwen returns or she shall have my head." He then stated, regretting looking back into her sad eyes that were quite obviously wishing for more.  
  
He felt the same way, he longed to say it too. Yet, he could not find the power to as he lifted her gently back up, getting to his feet slowly as to not hurt her. He could not. His fear struck him again; his mind refused to admit it and so it was left unsaid.  
  
Slowly, he brought her back into her room and Eltirwen arrived shortly afterwards. Not another word was spoken between them after their coming inside. Neither even looked at the other. The pain lingered inside of them, as what they felt was not stated aloud. It was left to be admitted another day. But he knew that when the new day came, he would choose to wait again. And again.  
  
He just could not, and so he walked out.  
  
However, what Haldir failed to see was the tear that rolled out of Belegwen's fair eye as he turned and walked away.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There we have it. It didn't turn out exactly as I planned, but that's ok. I hope you enjoyed it.  
  
Oh yeah, I was asked to suggest some good Haldir non-slash fics with original character romance. They can all be found right here at fanfiction.net too! Here's a little list.  
  
The Forgotten Ring, By: Bry-This one is an awesome Haldir fic that has been overlooked by many. A must read for people who enjoy long fics.  
  
Affairs in Lothlorien, By: Itarilde-Very good love triangle fic.  
  
Heartsong, By: Renee 101-Good action romance.  
  
Well, there you be. If you want more, just ask. Please recommend me some as well. Thanks. Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	20. Chapter 20: Misconception

Yola! I'm sorry for the confusion about my final authors note last time. I was addressing the chapter, not the fic in general. Man, that would be awful to end the fic like that! Just so that everyone knows, I'm not even sure if we are at the halfway mark of this sucker yet. It's going to be a long one, though hopefully enjoyable. Plus, I will put a nice epilogue chapter on the end as well, for your information. Now I present the next chapter of this fic; enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I am not associated in any way with Tolkien Enterprises, nor do I own anything having to do with Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 20: Misconception  
  
Yet again, Belegwen gazed through the window as if totally perplexed at what she was viewing. At least it was now clean, for Eltirwen had washed all of her windows the previous day.  
  
In her bed she now sat, propped up against the headboard that was lined with feathery pillows. An incessant ache from her middle was the only thing truly bothering her at the moment as she watched the last of the scorched trees be chopped down. Today she had been fully dressed, though she was not yet sure why. However, it was a comfort to be wearing her guard uniform again so she did not inquire about it.  
  
Sighing, her attention turned back to her warm bowl of porridge, which was resting untouched on her lap. The steam softly rolled of the tan mushy glob, caressing her face gently, just as his hands had a mere week ago.  
  
"Drat", she murmured silently to herself. Belegwen had told herself over and over that she would not think about that. Perhaps if she ignored it, it would just simply go away. Maybe it was just a dream. Unfortunately, it was not that easy. It had happened, her brain ceaselessly seemed to remind her, and she could not escape the pain.  
  
He had not said anything. The commander had participated in the affection, but was it willing? There had been no reply, which deeply scared Belegwen. Now he probably thought that she was some sort of doxy. A free harlot.  
  
"What a fix I am in", she mumbled, wiping her hot tears from her cheeks in order to try and remain somewhat dignified. Above all else, Belegwen did not wish to see Eltirwen, or anybody else for that matter, at that particular moment. Explaining this would be an awful feat in which all Eldarin witnesses would see exactly how weak she was.  
  
As if her nightmare was about to come true, at that moment the Lord Celeborn entered into her room. Standing in the doorway, he smiled at her and said, "Greetings Commander Belegwen."  
  
Silently he walked up to her, seating himself in the chair that was next to her bed. "How are you fairing today?" He asked, looking her over slightly as he inquired.  
  
"Better than before." She stated, softly clearing her throat after hearing how raspy her voice was. "How are you and the lady fairing as of late?" She then asked out of common respect.  
  
"We are well." He affirmed. "The lady is out seeing how the cleanup is coming today. Slowly, all seems to be returning to a placid normality."  
  
Belegwen nodded slowly, "That is good, my lord."  
  
"Enough with the pleasantries." He now stated firmly, "I came here to take you out for a little while, as the Lady Eltirwen thinks you need to get out a bit. She said that if you handle this walk well, she will dismiss you in a few more days."  
  
With this stated, Belegwen looked down at her legs. Her burnt foot was still bandaged and it hurt as she tried to flex it. She sighed almost incoherently, then replied, "I shall try my lord."  
  
Unhurriedly, she rotated her feet so that they hung off the edge of the cot and gently lowered them to the floor. It felt rather awkward, after laying down for a week or so on end. Would her feet still hold her up steadily after being down for so long?  
  
"You shall not need your boots, for we will stay on the paved paths." The Lord Celeborn stated helpfully. Belegwen had not even though about putting shoes on before he had stated that.  
  
He then stood up and offered her a helpful hand, which she hesitantly took with her own. Then, his strong arm tugged her up before she could do it herself. Her legs immediately shook and she nearly fell over. However, Celeborn secured one of his arms around her waist and held her up kindly. "It has been awhile, has it not?" He chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood a bit as she was quite obviously embarrassed. Her cheeks were flaming red as she attempted to regain her balance.  
  
After a few long seconds of flailing about, she finally stood there as calmly as possible, her legs feeling as flimsy as water. "Okay, my lord, let us attempt this." She stated, putting one feeble foot in front of the other rather slowly.  
  
Though she was progressing gradually at first, after falling down the flet's ladder she seemed to be making some improvement. With the silent lord at her side, they walked up the path slowly towards the center of Caras Galadhon.  
  
Though one could not see the any clouds in the sky, it was still a gray day. However, it was extremely bright for such a day and Belegwen found herself squinting to see where she was going. The wind wasn't exactly helping her cause either, as it kept blowing her disarrayed silvery tresses into her face.  
  
Finally, Lord Celeborn spoke up most unexpectantly. "Something ails your mind Belegwen. Do you wish to speak of it?"  
  
When she did not reply, he continued, "I may not have the abilities of my wife, but I am not naïve to the emotions of others. Is it something about the guard that troubles your heart?"  
  
"Perhaps..." She stated sullenly. "I would rather not speak of it, Lord Celeborn." She said, suddenly becoming extremely interested with the path that they strolled upon.  
  
Belegwen then heard him sigh. She looked over to see him brushing his own hair out of his face with his unoccupied hand. "Very well then, Belegwen. Just remember that the lady and I are here for your every need. All you must do is ask."  
  
"Yes, I am aware and I thank you for that." She whispered, feeling utter gratitude towards the couple that had done so much for her. Belegwen looked towards him and forced herself to smile, as she could tell he was concerned about her well-being. He seemed to accept this and the talking ceased again.  
  
Boredom taking over her mind, Belegwen found herself looking out at the cleanup as they continued their walk. She could see in the distance a large pile of scorched trees that had been piled up by the guard and were to be burnt away in the near future.  
  
They must have cleaned up the dead orcs first, as there were no bodies scattered about. In fact, other than the slight reduction of trees, one could not tell that the atrocities of that night had actually happened.  
  
Celeborn must have noticed what she was gazing at, for he stated, "You are eager to go and help them, I see. By the looks of it, you will be working alongside Haldir in no time at all."  
  
Somehow, that was not very comforting.  
  
"What about me?" Came a stern voice from behind. Belegwen ripped around to see none other than the High Marchwarden himself behind them. Celeborn followed the same suite, though at a more leisurely pace.  
  
"Greetings Haldir", Celeborn said with a polite smile, "We were just talking about the work you and the guard are completing out there. Commander Belegwen shall be rejoining you in just a few days."  
  
He did not smile at her, nor did he seem to show any sentiments at all upon his face. "I shall find her work when it is time and we shall resume our training." He stated solemnly, nodding to Celeborn slightly.  
  
Haldir then turned to Belegwen, "I shall send you up a few books to read until then, since you seem better now."  
  
Then, he gave Celeborn a slight bow and disappeared off to do whatever it was he had been doing previously. Thoroughly upset, Belegwen could no longer take the lord's company. "I wish to go back now, my lord." She stated firmly, and he complied, though it was obvious that he was still worried.  
  
Before he departed her, he stated, "Get your rest, dear Commander. You shall need it. Do not let Haldir get to you just yet. All will turn out well; I promise."  
  
However, Belegwen could only weep, as Haldir had not acted like anything had happened between them, and all was not well.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There's another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try harder on the next one. Sorry, but I've had writer's block lately, so it might be a while. I apologize again for the confusion of the last chapter. Have a nice day.  
  
-P.G. 


	21. Chapter 21: Intimidation

Hello, and welcome back to the fanfic To Be Forever Faithful. It has been a while since I last updated, and so I apologize. I have been busy as a volunteer counselor at our local Girl Scout Day Camp. It was a fun, though very tiring three days. Well, I hope you enjoy this new installment of the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises or Lord of the Rings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 21: Intimidation  
  
Though it was not entirely unexpected, Belegwen still found herself rather annoyed when she was woken up with a thorough and very rough shaking from the March warden. Instantly, her eyes became aware of her surroundings and she quickly made sure that her sheet was covering her body securely before gazing back at the retreating figure.  
  
Rather annoyed at his lack of concern for her privacy, she found herself feeling quite exasperated with him already as she commanded her body to get out of bed. Again, her guard clothes were set beside her bed, clean and folded, ready for her to wear. Belegwen dressed in a fast manner, despite the fact that her body still felt slightly weak.  
  
However, she could not keep a supercilious smile from gracing her lips as she yanked on her boots. At last, she would get to go outside and do something! It was what she had been waiting for all week.  
  
Rapidly, Belegwen ran up to the curtained window in her room and tore the shades open in a single, fast movement. Bright light immediately cascaded down her face and torso, bringing the whole room to a glowing brilliance. The rays were warm on her face and hands, something she had missed immensely. Nevertheless, she only reveled the silence and beauty of the morning for a mere second, for she had work to do.  
  
Quickly braiding her hair and tying it up, she flew soundlessly out the door and found her way into the front room of Eltirwen's flet where he waited for her stoically. Not even acknowledging her presence, he turned and jumped off the veranda of the flet, expecting her to follow the suite, no doubt.  
  
Narrowing her eyes, Belegwen took the plunge off of the tree and took a hard landing on her feet, as always. Before she could even get the feel of the path though, he took off at what he had previously deemed a 'slow run'. Not wishing to be left behind, Belegwen followed him closely.  
  
A small smile graced her lips as they ran together over the rolling hills and through the mellryn trees of gold. The wind rustled through her hair silently as she struggled to keep up with the swift elf ahead of her. It was good to be back, even if it was simply training.  
  
"Look at the progress we have made." She heard him say in a monotone as he quickly pointed to his right side. There was the inner edge of the burnt wood; all of the burnt trees had been cleared out and now there was a brigade of elves planting some new ones to replace what was lost.  
  
He came to a halt in front of the guard members who where working at the project diligently. All of their labor ceased as Haldir approached and all of their eyes flew from him to herself. Belegwen stayed back a few steps, unsure of how they felt about her. She knew that they had every right to be infuriated at the weakness she had shown during the battle.  
  
Surprisingly though, when their eyes rested upon her, they all smiled. Belegwen's eyes grew a bit large as she wondered why they were all staring at her so. Was something about her amiss and they were simply trying to hold in their laughter? What was happening?  
  
"How is this coming?" Haldir's gruff voice asked, immediately calling Belegwen back to reality. She did not recognize the elf that he happened to be addressing, though she could tell that the golden-haired male had a high stature. He seemed to carry himself strongly as Haldir did, with a very familiar arrogance about him as well.  
  
"All is well Commander. The task will be completed within the hour sir." He said back, astonishing Belegwen with his rather meek voice. For someone who appeared so intimidating, he sure did not sound harsh. His voice was rather melodic and nice in fact, though it did not seem to fit his exterior very well.  
  
"Very well then, carry on!" Haldir barked back at him, turning and quickly heading away. Belegwen sprinted after him as he quickly resumed his previous pace.  
  
Now gathering a bit of her courage, she sped up a bit so that she could run alongside the Commander. He noticed this immediately and locked eyes with her. Such cold eyes, as if they had never seen a day of summer in their life. Once again, Belegwen found herself flabbergasted at his lack of emotions. It could not be good for him to keep his feelings pinned inside of himself like that!  
  
Quickly breaking the lock that had entranced her for a few seconds, she simply concentrated on her racing legs and heart for a bit. Deep down she knew that he was still struggling with his brother's death, so she let it slide.  
  
Finally, her anxiety was overridden by her curiosity, and while gasping for air she asked him, "Haldir, why did all of those soldiers smile at me? Is something amiss?"  
  
She looked at him expectantly, but he did not make eye contact with her this time. "You proved your loyalty to them on that fateful night. You have earned their respect." He said softly.  
  
"Oh", she murmured breathily to herself as they ran up yet another hill. The familiar ache in her legs had returned, but Belegwen challenged it. She had known that training was going to be painful after being out for so long, but she just knew that if she pushed herself then she would be happier with the results later.  
  
Instead, she found herself thinking profoundly of what he had just said. "Could it be?" She thought. "No", doubts clouded up her mind like a storm. "They will never think much of me."  
  
Nevertheless, all evidence seemed to say that Haldir was being truthful. They checked group after group of soldiers, who seemed quite pleasant towards her. One guy even came up and whispered thanks in her ear while Commander Haldir was speaking with the group head. Upon their final arrival at Caras Galadhon, Belegwen was openly smiling herself.  
  
"Stretch", Haldir commanded as he lifted his puissant arm behind his back gracefully. Belegwen followed his example in silence, her thoughts contradicting each other as she stretched. The evidence was all towards her, yet she felt it was an impossible cause.  
  
Respect. That was simply an impossible goal.  
  
"I'll meet you at lunch where we will discuss more strategies... Are we clear on this?" He questioned, obviously realizing that she was paying little attention to him at the time being.  
  
"Yes sir", she murmured, watching him walk away to report to the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood. Slowly, still caught up in her battling thoughts, she found herself heading towards the training area, her legs still throbbing gently from the excursion.  
  
A little bit of archery practice would surely take her mind off of these things. Quickly, Belegwen armed herself with a bow and arrows from the utility shed, then set off for the sunny field where the targets were.  
  
However, before she could reach her destination of the far target, a strong hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her off into the forest effortlessly. Immediately she was shoved up against a giant mallorn tree rather violently, her struggling doing her no good. Looking up, she glared into the green eyes that were glowering right back down at her. Then, her breath caught in her throat when she saw who it was.  
  
Erthalion.  
  
He appeared rather angry and he seemed to be radiating an aura of impending doom. His teeth were gritted harshly as he held her up against the tree. "Hmph. They all think you are so great... Well, they are just idiots!" He snarled into her ear dangerously.  
  
Her eyes enlarged as he pushed her against the tree even harder. "I know that you are just a burden though; I am not a fool. You are no hero..." He barked gruffly, his hot angry breath touching her cheek. Again, she resisted him, trying to pull away her arms, but it was to no avail.  
  
She shivered as she felt him then come even closer, his lips slightly touching her ear, "You are nothing. Don't you ever forget that. Nothing." He whispered threateningly into her ear.  
  
"Stop it..." Belegwen whimpered, her eyes filled with genuine fear. What was he going to do to her?!? He was holding her wrists so tightly that they felt as if they might explode.  
  
Again, she gasped as she was hurled against the tree with his brute strength, the bark digging into her back through her guard jacket. "They will realize how worthless you are soon though, mark my words." The shadowy figure growled, then, without warning, he pushed her a final time and leapt up into the shiny golden trees, no longer visible to any keen eyes.  
  
Feeling slightly dizzy, Belegwen slid down the trunk of the tree and came to a sitting position silently. "Oh dear Vala..." She muttered softly as the tears began to form in her eyes, "What am I going to do?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There's another chapter. I'm sorry that this one wasn't that great. I'll try harder on the next one. Until the next time...  
  
-P.G. 


	22. Chapter 22: Reconciliation

Welcome back to the fic To Be Forever Faithful. Glad to have you. I'm sorry for the long time without updates. I have had writer's block and now school has started as well as the marching band of doom. Hopefully I will be able to keep up somewhat frequent updates still. I don't know how it will work yet. Sorry. Well, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 22: Reconciliation  
  
A lone figure sat up against a tall mallorn tree, head bent down in pain. The shadows of the golden leaves were cast down on her face, making it undecipherable until you were standing within 10 feet of her. However, on this humid day Belegwen had no desire to be found. At least, not in her current condition.  
  
Wiping her runaway tears off onto her jacket, Belegwen sat there forlornly for a long time, not making a sound. During this time a great amount of thoughts graced her head. One, however, seemed to stand out the most.  
  
Haldir. She could not tell him about this. He would flip; she was sure of it. Commander Haldir would be mad that she had not handled the situation better. Belegwen had authority over him; she should have pulled him away and punished him for his behavior immediately.  
  
'No, I could not do that either', she thought dejectedly, looking down at her bruised wrists. 'He is simply to strong for me.'  
  
Yet, getting Haldir involved would also make her reputation take a turn for the worse. She was supposed to be able to do these things for herself. Belegwen needed to be stronger for this: both mentally and physically.  
  
Slowly, Belegwen pulled herself up from the ground and walked back out into the open, picking up her nearly forgotten bow and arrows. Being in no hurry, she made her way to the far targets silently, walking past a group of laughing guard members who where partially practicing and partially goofing around.  
  
Some things never did change.  
  
Suddenly, Belegwen had no desire to practice her bow anymore. She threw it down along with her arrows and started to run. Through the forest she gracefully flew, silently but swiftly at a very fast pace. Her mind went blank and she simply enjoyed the flow of the ground beneath her feet. Nothing else mattered.  
  
So all toils were forgotten for a while, along with everything else.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
She was late again. Again. How dare she show him up like this. It was disrespectful! Had he not taught her better than this?!?  
  
Haldir quietly resumed his finger tapping against the hard wood of the lunch table. His tray of food had lost its luster and was left untouched, as he was now very annoyed. He was very sick of her always showing up late. It was like she did not care about their cause, which was an important one.  
  
Finally pushed over his limit, Haldir stormed out of the cafeteria and out into the blazing heat, determination plastered upon his hardened face. She was going to hear about this one. He was not about to let this insolence continue any longer.  
  
Immediately, he found himself heading towards the training area. Ignoring all of the eyes that followed him, he thundered across the field in search of her. However, she was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, his eyes kept searching for a clue as to her whereabouts.  
  
"Um, Commander sir?" A voice came from behind him. He turned to see Heledril standing behind him. "Are you looking for the Commander Belegwen, sir?"  
  
"Yes." He stated, attempting not to let his anger show outwardly. He had to be in control of himself to do a good job, and he planned on doing just that.  
  
"Well sir, I saw her run off that way about an hour ago. She was alone sir and I do not know what her destination was." He said with an obvious sense of duty. Though he was young, he was already an admirable elf and a good soldier too. At a time like this, Haldir could not help but wish he had chosen differently for his second. Perhaps Heledril would have taken the job more seriously.  
  
"Very well then, I thank you for your help." He stated, and then took off through the woods in the direction that Heledril had pointed to. Surely she would not be too hard to track for one who was as experienced as himself. And once he found her he would-  
  
Haldir suddenly stopped and stared out into the distance at the scene that had caught his eye. Up ahead lay the field of burials and there amongst the tall grass and wildflowers was his brother, Rumil, kneeling in a spot that was all too familiar to him.  
  
Immediately, all hostility towards Belegwen was forgotten as Haldir realized that he had pushed something important out of his head for a long while.  
  
Orophin...  
  
Rumil.  
  
Abruptly, the pain returned as if it was still new. In fact, perhaps it was even worse because it was mingled with guilt as well. He had put them out of his mind, ignored his problem.  
  
Why had he done it? It was obvious to him now that he had been stupid, as Rumil quite noticeably needed some sort of consolation. Haldir could not see his face, as his hair was flowing down in front of it, but it was evident that he was not well. When closer observed, Haldir could see that his brother was indeed shaking with pain and torment.  
  
Striding forward slowly, Haldir started to approach his only living relative, stepping lightly as to not beat down the grasses. His head bowed down shamefully, as he knew this would not be easy. He had said things he should not have upon Orophin's death, not to mention he had not been there for his brother when he needed him the most.  
  
A small tear graced Haldir's eye as he knelt down beside the quivering brother. Rumil, however, did not look up or acknowledge his presence at all.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Rumil, I-", Haldir paused as he saw his brother's blue eyes. The cerulean orbs were watered down and encrusted with anguish. "...am sorry." He finished very vulnerably.  
  
Again, everything stilled. One could not hear the trees rustling nor the tireless wind's swishes across the emerald grasses. All seemed to stop as if the tension of the two elves could be sensed from afar.  
  
"I was wrong to say what I did", Haldir started softly, then dropping down even lower continued, "I was a fool. Please forgive me Rumil. I know it is not your fault."  
  
Haldir then awaited an answer again from Rumil, whose head had again dropped back down to stare at the ground with something of an interest. Finally, he looked up and stared at Haldir, searching for the sincerity that laid within his cold eyes. "Thank you", he murmured hoarsely, as if he had not spoken in a long amount of time.  
  
Rumil then forced a small smile upon his face and Haldir felt the heavy burden lifted from his back. Both of them then turned their attention back to Orophin's gravesite, the small stone gleaming in the sun's soft light.  
  
"Come Rumil, we shall go to my room and speak of him privately. Let me help you get through this, and you can help me." He stated, and then helped the large elf to his feet and they headed towards Caras Galadhon together, as family.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Again, sorry about the quality. I do believe I could do better, but I've had so much to do lately that it's simply a miracle that I finished this one. Oh well, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading it. I'll try to be back with more soon.  
  
-P.G. 


	23. Chapter 23: Surprise Skirmish

Welcome back to my fic! Glad to have you. Though school has been torturing me, here I am with another chapter. I am so sorry about the long wait. Do expect long waits between the chapters from now on, though probably not that long. My life has grown very complicated and I have little time or motivation for this anymore. I still do want to finish it though and I will try my hardest to do that. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be Forever Faithful  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Chapter 23: Surprise Skirmish  
  
Still was the world around her, silent other than the soft scraping noise of her sword being gently pulled from its scabbard. In the small clearing, a quick figure can be made out, her sword slashing at an invisible opponent vigorously with precise actions. Fast was her footwork and her sword gracefully went where it should, the moonlight glowing down on her as she continued her little game.  
  
Soon the hushed world was being interrupted by her quick gasping breaths as she continued at an incredible speed, her hair going wild around her, mind completely blank. All events forgotten, she slashed endlessly, jumping and dodging the enemy as she imagined the fight.  
  
He watched her battle on, unnoticed among the brush. Haldir's talk with Rumil had went quite well. Their differences had at last been settled and now perhaps both could have some peace and at last start to heal.  
  
For over an hour he had sat and observed her, though she was so caught up in her act that she had not noticed his presence here. On and on she went, not faltering as if it truly were a life and death situation. He admired her spirit, though he was still a bit upset with her for not showing up to his meeting.  
  
Finally, totally spent, he watched her fall to her knees and roughly undo her uniform's khaki jacket, revealing her bland black undershirt, which was casually tucked into her lace-up breaches. Quickly and ungracefully, the cloak was thrown in his direction. Thinking rapidly, Haldir darted from his previous hiding area into the trees. However, her sudden gasp told him that he had not been stealthy enough about the action.  
  
When he looked back down at her from inside of the darkened tree foliage, he saw her back in a ready position. Her large blue eyes were gleaming in the moonlight with slight traces of fear in them, though it was not something that a casual observer could have recognized in her. Nonetheless, he knew her well and decided not to give up this training opportunity that had just arisen.  
  
"Who's there?" she whispered dangerously as she slowly turned around, sword clasped between her small hands tightly. All was silent around them, covered in the blanket of darkness that was night. He could hear the faintest calling of a night bird in the distance, but that was all. Quickly, he jumped into another tree to her left.  
  
She whipped around, having seen the flash of a shadow and heard the slightest rustling of leaves. He knew she was aware that it was not the wind making those noises; she was smarter than that. All of her senses were well attuned to the situation before her. Haldir was not sure how much longer he could keep this up, as she was looking right in his direction.  
  
"Come out I say!" She commanded firmly, never taking her eyes from the tree that he was situated in. "I know you are there. Show yourself!"  
  
A small smile graced Haldir's face as his hand reached for his clandestine dagger, which was positioned inside of his boot in a small sheath. Now the fun was about to begin.  
  
Being an excellent shot, Haldir quickly aimed the blade for the tiny groove that was at the base of her neck, where her collarbones met, and he fired it while at the same time taking advantage of the distraction to inconspicuously dash into a new hiding spot.  
  
However, he had no time to settle in as his own knife came whirling back towards him and he just barely had enough time to duck the shot to his head. With lightning reflexes, his hand yanked his heavy sword out of its holster and upon seeing a flash of silvery hair, he jumped from the tree and they started the battle.  
  
Swords clashed simultaneously as the two went at it with all of their might in the small clearing. He led the violent skirmish and she followed, matching him stroke for stroke. Then, he saw a tiny glimmer in her eye and suddenly knew he had lost. A moment later, she proceeded to shove her sword into the soil and gripping the handle, she delivered a hard kick to his stomach, forcing him to stumble backwards.  
  
Taking the lead, she made them go faster, now seemingly testing him, as if she had caught on to his own little game. Quickly though, she tired of it, and finally smacked his knee with the flat edge of the sword faster than lightning and he went down backwards painfully. He gasped as he felt his spine make contact with a root that was sticking up out of the ground.  
  
When he looked up, she was on her knees directly over him, hair glimmering in the pale moonlight, sword pointing towards his heart. "Say it", she gasped, trying to catch her breath, though still sounding very serious about the entire situation.  
  
Haldir found himself not ready to give up yet and as he opened his mouth to say it, he deftly grabbed her sword arm and flipped over so that he was on the top and started to pull up his sword-  
  
"Say it!" She hissed dangerously, her stealth dagger now at his throat, though he was on top. Sweat dripped down her intense face as she gripped the gleaming blade tensely with her left hand.  
  
"Mercy", he murmured, eyes wide with surprise at her quick thinking. She was good; there was no way to deny it. Whatever her father had written in his book was the real stuff and would help this she-elf survive anything she came to.  
  
The two then were left on the ground, nearly in silence, the only sound audible being their wheezing, which quickly subsided into nothingness.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
His eyes were beautiful; she had noticed their intensity before many a time, but never truly appreciated their beauty. His eyes were blue, a dark cerulean that was so deep that she feared that if she stared into it for too long, she would drown in their unfathomable depth.  
  
Never before had Belegwen been in such an intimate situation. He was on her, the warmth of his body radiating through her under shirt and giving her the newest sensation of a growing heat from within. She was pinned down to the soft earth, the soft breezes contrasting to all that she was feeling at that moment. Soft tendrils of his hair tickled her neck gently as her breasts brushed against his chest with every breath she took.  
  
All the pain and confusion suddenly left her mind and she was overtaken by an intense longing that had truly been there the entire time; she had just refused to acknowledge it up until now. Entertaining the fantasy, she gently reached up and caressed his face sweetly, tucking away a small flyaway behind his ear with care.  
  
Silence finally gave way to the beginnings of exploration, as the couple gently gave into each other's desires. It was what they had wanted, an unspoken wish that, given the opportunity, was being granted.  
  
Belegwen's mind was screaming no, yet she did not stop for her heart was screaming yes. After her scuffle with Erthalion earlier, she needed his comfort, his touch. And so when he inquired if this was what she wished for, she nodded her head and so she slowly, received the delicious comfort that she had longed for all along; they both did. Soon all coherent thoughts were gone and the only thing Belegwen could think of was how good his calloused hands felt as they stroked her bare skin with care.  
  
Little did she know, however, how much she would come to regret this night of pleasure in the long run...  
  
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There's another chapter, which I hope you enjoyed. Yes, it was short, but it was better than no chapter at all, right? I'll attempt to update soon, but there are no guarantees on that. Also, please inform me if something is out of context with the story in this chapter; it's been so long since I last wrote it that I'm not positive that I did it right. Thank you all for your patience and support. Have a nice day!  
  
-P.G. 


	24. Chapter 24: The Secret

Hi guys! Welcome back to my fic, To Be Forever Faithful!!! I haven't updated it since 2003, but I would like to try and work on it now. It will be slow-moving because I'm in college now, but I do intend to finish this eventually. There's still quite a lot of story left, so stay tuned!

Disclaimer: I still do not own Lord of the Rings…how sad. I would have made a set of movies about the Silmarillion by now if I had.

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

**By: Ponytail Goddess**

**Chapter 24: _The Secret_**

Deep in the heart of the forest, away from all peeping eyes, laid two shadowy figures underneath a mallorn tree. Trying to get comfortable in the dirt, Belegwen squirmed a bit, drawing herself a bit closer to Haldir's body, cuddling so close that she could feel his hot skin against her naked body again. Her soft silver hair flowed free from its usual bindings and gleamed as it caught the moonlight every so often, blowing freely over Haldir's chest.

Sliding her hand down his chest, Belegwen gently tipped her head up to look at his face. She frowned at what she saw. He was staring straight upward, to the stars, with an expression that did not show any sort of joy or comfort from their recent union. In fact, he looked rather perplexed, as if he was trying to work something out in his head.

Softly, she moved her head forward and kissed his neck tenderly. Feeling his grip around her body tighten, she glanced up again to study his face, only to find him unchanged. Her cold, calloused hand compassionately touched the far side of his face and tilted it towards her. As his wondering eyes caught her own and held them, she momentarily forgot what she was going to say. It was just him and her, together, in this moment forever.

Finally, lips almost touching his, she murmured, "Haldir…what ails you?" Softly, he smiled and rolled to his side, kissing her gently, deeply.

He looked down with his eyes closed, then back up to her face, as though nervous. He rarely shared his thoughts with anyone…not even his brothers, from what Belegwen had gathered. "Nothing…nothing." He whispered back, "I was just looking at the stars. I rarely have the time to admire their beauty."

Belegwen chuckled softly. "I know the truth of that statement all too well." Her face got serious then as she continued to look at him and stroke his face. "But I know your thoughts ran deeper than that. Do tell me what is on your mind. Put your trust in me; I shall not let you down."

Sighing, he smiled at her and gave in. "If you must know…I was thinking about the Ainur and the creation of this world."

She became perplexed and could not stop herself from responding, as she rolled onto her stomach, "What has triggered such interesting thinking at a time like this?"

Propping himself up on one shoulder, he questioned, "Do you not wonder how the world could have turned out differently if one historical event had been different? It is amazing how one seemingly innocent thing can change everything and make things complicated for generations to come."

"How so? What event do you speak of?" Belegwen asked, smiling as his hand softly slid down her back with care.

"I am referring to the song of the Ainur and Melkor's own creative additions. What if Iluvatar had not allowed him to add that which was not apart of the great plan to the world? There would be no evil in the world today…the time of the elves would not have to come to an end here-"

"But we would be out of a job." Belegwen said with a small chuckle, flipping to her back again to look at the stars, "The world would be a kinder place if it were true."

"If we did not have our jobs though", Haldir stated, "We could…" But he did not finish his sentence and both became quite silent. Both knew that what they had just done went against everything the guard stood for and was considered socially unacceptable amongst the elves. They had no courtship, nor did any wedding bands adorn their fingers. It was unheard of for elves to come together without having gone through the wedding ceremony…but then again, their situation was not a common one either.

"Belegwen…" Haldir whispered, sitting up and pulling her onto him so that she straddled his lap. He looked straight into her eyes with a seriousness that gave her a feeling of coldness inside. "You do realize…this must be kept a secret. If another soul was to find out about this, we would both be kicked off the guard and exposed to public humiliation and shame…perhaps even cast away from Lorien for breaking the unspoken code."

A deep, unyielding sadness filled Belegwen. She knew that he spoke words of truth, but she did not want to accept it. After all of these years, finally she had found something good, but it was out of her reach. It had to be hidden from the world, as if their affection, or whatever it might be, was a thing of shame. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, a frown replacing her happy face from before. "I understand."

Then, without another word, the moment was over. Belegwen got up and started to pull on her breaches, while looking around the lush green foliage for her undershirt and jacket. All the while, she could feel his eyes on her, burning through her very soul. Mentally, she was screaming at herself…why, why had she done this?!? This was pointless and now she would never be able to look at him without thinking about this failed attempt to seek comfort. Comfort was all it could be. It wasn't love. It wasn't anything at all! It was folly!! It was-

But then, there was his voice.

"Belegwen…"

And his arms.

Coming around her from behind.

She squeezed her eyes shut, clutching her jacket in her arms tightly, not knowing what to do or say or feel. With her head bent down in shame, they stayed that way in silence.

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For the first time in his life, Haldir did not know what to do. Every possible guard situation had popped up during his long life, but he had very few experiences with romance…and none of them had been at this caliber. Like a fish out of water, he did not know how to deal with the situation. Belegwen had obviously gotten the wrong idea of his intentions because she was quite obviously upset and it was eating away at him because it was his fault.

He had wanted the previous moment to last forever: him and her together, naked, tangled in each other's arms in the dirt. It was such a feeling of freedom…freedom, mixed with something else that he did not understand. Even though he did not quite know what to say, he knew he could not let her leave like this, thinking he had taken advantage of her during a low point. That was not what happened at all.

Somehow, he finally managed to stutter out a few words, while drawing her even closer to his chest. "Just…just because it must be a secret...it does not mean…it does not mean that it is something I dare not pursue…"

Slowly, she turned around in his arms so that she faced him, she grasped the side of his face with her left hand and looked into his eyes urgently…looking for some speck of truth in his words, trying to read him. Her blue eyes dug into his own with great power and determination to find exactly what she was looking for. Her lip quivered a bit, as she drew away, turning from him, but then turning back with a smile on her face.

"You are sincere." She whispered. A smile touched the corners of his lips as he grabbed her up for a kiss; she returned it with equal ardor, her hands grasping at his face all the while. The two broke apart breathlessly and stared at the other, reveling in the mutual feeling. Satisfied with the reconciliation, Haldir went off to find his clothes.

He quickly found his breaches and shirt and had them on in no time. He sent a fleeting glance towards Belegwen, simply to make sure that his previous words had been forgiven, only to see something else. As she slid her arms into her overcoat, he noticed large bruises on each wrist, unlike any he had seen before. Surprised at the injury, he walked over to her and grabbed her now covered arm and pulled the sleeve back for a closer look before she could object.

The Earth stopped.

Silence ensued.

All of the sounds of the forest life crept into their ears as they both stopped and stared at the wrist. He could feel that she was not at ease. Finally, he found himself asking, "Did I do this to you?"

"No, no! You did not hurt me. I-I have simply overexerted myself today with the sword!" She quickly countered, looking at him with uneasy eyes. He feared that this was not the truth, but he dared not pursue the subject any longer, as she looked rather uneasy. Had he done that to her during the throws of pleasure? He did not remember holding her by the wrists, but everything had happened so fast that he was not sure that he hadn't. Deciding that it must have been him, he silently promised himself to be more careful with her next time…

Wait…"next time?" Had he already mentally planned a "next time?" He was both enraged at himself for breaking the guard rules and invigorated at the thought of…well, whatever this was. He desperately wanted to call it romance, but the word simply did not seem to fit. He had courted a few elves a great many years ago—he had considered that romance, but it had not panned out into anything. This, on the other hand, seemed to have endless possibilities, despite the fact that it was quite illegal. It most certainly was not love though, for he could never fall in love with a female like her, could he?

He did not know. However, he did not want his musings to ruin his perfectly good feeling and so he forgot about them and, grabbing Belegwen's arm, started heading back towards Caras Galadhon.

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It was a very interesting feeling, having one's arm held, Belegwen decided as she and Haldir wearily walked back to Caras Galadhon through the forest. It made her feel proper, as if she was apart of a real courtship, despite the fact that this was anything but that. Honestly, she was not too certain of his intentions, though his eyes had shown an honest desire of her company. What sort of company did Commander Haldir wish of her? She did not wish to be some sort of humaneque concubine. Elves were too respectable to sink down to those lows. She could not have a rightful relationship with him either, considering the circumstances. So…what was it? She knew what she wanted it to be, but what were the chances of that?

She knew that if they really were to fall in love, one of them would have to quit the guard in order to have a proper marriage. She knew he would not—he had been commanding it for far too long to give up his position of high power. Besides, he loved his job; everyone knew that. At the same time, she knew she would not be able to either. She had come so far up the ranks and had worked so hard to gain the respect of her fellow guard members; she simply could not give that up for the life a common she-elf. She knew nothing about maintaining a flet, sewing, or elflings. If she tried it, she would not only fail terribly, but would also be living in the shadow of what she could be: a great warrior and leader. No, she could not give it up. Not ever.

Upon coming close to Caras Galadhon, Haldir released her arm and began to keep his distance from her. Belegwen's heart sank. There was no hope for this situation…absolutely no hope.

As she began up the stairs to her small room, she heard him bark a few last orders to her. "Get up bright and early tomorrow; we are leading the watch group for the next three days. Also, put some salve on those wrists before you sleep."

With that said, he turned around and left to attend to his own business. His former self was completely back now. Belegwen lowered her head sadly and plodded up the stairs to do as he said.

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Ouch! So, **what did you think?** Feedback would be greatly appreciated because I feel like I'm not really writing in the same style that I was before. I do not plan on changing my original plan for the story's outcome, but my writing style has changed over the years, so opinions are very welcome and very much appreciated. Let me know if it fits with the story's previous style or not. Thank you and have a great day (and a **Merry Christmas!!!)!**

-P.G.


	25. Chapter 25: Stay

Hello! Welcome back to my fic! It has gotten a lot of attention, though very few new reviews. However, **I would like to thank BsG-Blondy, ElfLuver13, Maid of Imladris, Haldir's Heart and Soul, and GreenWood Elf for their feedback**—it was very much needed and appreciated. Also, I'd like to thank everyone who reads this without reviewing. I'm glad people are enjoying it.

_Disclaimer: You know, I put ownership of Lord of the Rings on my Christmas list, but Santa just did not come through for me…maybe next year._

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

**By: Ponytail Goddess**

**Chapter 25: _Stay_**

Silent feet ascended the long stairway up to the dwelling of Lorien's Lord and Lady. A soft blue glow hit Haldir's fair golden hair as he continued up the spiraling stairway at a constant pace. The Lady had summoned him and he had a feeling that this meeting was of great importance, though he did not know quite why. He just had a feeling.

His feelings were seldom wrong.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Haldir quickly walked around the large pool of clear, dark water in the public area and waited for the Lady in the dim light. Then, like a lamp in the dark, there she was, shining in all of her pure glory. With a grace like no other, she descended down the white marble steps of her domain to meet Haldir. Going down on one knee, he greeted his Lady with a bowed head, in awe of her beauty. He did not always do this, but sometimes, he simply could not help himself.

"Come now Haldir—you have known for a very long time that I do not require that." She said, addressing his great spectacle of respect.

"My Lady," he said, continuing his formal acknowledgement of her despite her statement, then rising to his feet to discuss the matter at hand. "You have summoned for me?"

Her eyes darkened and the mood was no longer light. "Indeed," she whispered, and turned away from him to face the dark treetops of her fair city. "Haldir…I fear I have seen something very grave in my mirror this morning."

Haldir felt his heart start to beat faster. The lady had never told him of any of her visions from her mystical mirror. He could hear the ill-will in her voice—she had tidings of bad news for him today. Haldir found himself slightly disturbed when she did not continue with the bad news, but just stood their silently, looking over her night-blanketed lands.

"What have you seen, my Lady?" He finally asked, unable to take it anymore.

"I have seen the dark shadow of war." She whispered silently, turning to face him. Her eyes caught his intensely and held them; he felt as though she was looking into his very soul, gauging his very reaction to the future. Though he tried to hide it, his initial reaction was shock. Elves were not of this world—war was not a thing of the elves anymore. Elves no longer belonged on these shores and there would be no war in Valinor. Why were they going to war?!? It made no sense to him.

"I feel your deep confusion Haldir. While we reside in Caras Galadhon though, we are still members of Middle Earth, even if our elves are leaving these shores for the glorious ones of Valinor. We still remain here and thus must fight for the freedom of these lands. I do not yet know when we will be needed, but when the call comes, we shall indeed help forge a new day where evil will not have such a great hold on the world."

"Yes, my lady." Haldir replied, bowing his head. "I should not have doubted you."

"And you still doubt me now." She said softly, taking hold of his chin and lifting his eyes up to an understanding, though slightly sad smile. "Fear not Haldir; it will all make sense in good time. For now, we must start to prepare for this battle of battles. I shall expect you to immediately start training all of our eligible warriors for battle. Get new warriors battle-ready and advance our older warriors to new levels of skill. Your second-in-command and the eldest and most trusted members of the guard may help you in this task. I put my full faith in you Haldir. It is your job to make sure that our people are prepared to win in battle when the time comes."

"It will be so my lady. I will start preparing for the classes immediately." Haldir stated dutifully, then bowed and turned around to exit, already making intricate plans in his mind.

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Taking a break from the task at hand, Heledhril found his eyes gliding over the empty training grounds. Well…they were almost empty. Since he had not been able to sleep, he thought he would go and practice alone in the training field, but had been surprised to find that he was not the only one there. The new female commander, March Warden Belegwen, was also out on the field, wielding what looked like a very mean sword.

_"She most certainly means business…to train so hard at this time of night, with no partner."_ He thought to himself, curious as to why she would give an 'imaginary foe' a death match in the middle of the night._ "I could really learn something if she would dual with me. Perhaps she would like a partner…"_

He could not stop wondering and hoping for a chance at seeing her skill first hand, so without much ado, he found himself slowly and shyly approaching her whirling body in the night.

But then, suddenly, she stopped._ "Perhaps she has noticed me…"_ He thought, though she had not looked in his direction yet. She seemed to be quite perplexed with her own sword at the moment. He froze, now slightly intimidated about approaching such a good swordsman. Then, in one mysterious motion, she thrust her sword down into the dirt solidly. Heledhril found himself cocking his eyebrows in confusion as he watched her with interest.

What he saw next astonished him. The lady grasped both sides of the sword's cross guard and then lifted herself into a handstand on the sword. With closed eyes and a look of concentration, she steadied herself. Ever so carefully, she took one hand at a time and moved it to the hilt, all while maintaining her balance on the sword. Not being able to hold it in any longer, Heledhril let out a small chuckle at the craziness of it all, then regretted it as he saw that she had opened her eyes and was staring at him intensely.

"What are you doing, Commander?" He asked, immediately turning serious as to not upset her. It was wrong of him to laugh at someone of such high authority. He could get in trouble for doing so. However, when he next saw her eyes, he knew it was not so, for they were filled with good humor.

"I see you find my methods rather amusing Heledhril. Would you like to try it? It takes a great feat of strength and balance to do it, among other things." She said, her eyes glittering as she waited for his reaction.

Though uneasy about trying something different, Heledhril found that he could not say no to the Commander, who seemed to have better swordsmanship than any other elf he had ever encountered. "I shall feel silly doing this, but if it will help…" He stated, shoving his own sword into the ground firmly.

Belegwen tested his sword, pushing on it to make sure that it was in a steady slice of ground. "Okay, now you must grasp the cross guard and judge how much momentum you will use. Too much will propel you over the sword, while too little will not get you up there. Remember, once you are in the air, you must find your balancing point—a straight spine is a key figure in this."

Still perplexed at everything that was happening, Heledhril looked uneasily at the sword and then at Belegwen. He had always taken her for a rather shy and unconfident person, but right now, she seemed quite different—very certain of herself. How odd to see such a change in her.

Taking hold of the cross guard on each side of the blade, Heledhril took in a deep breath and pushed off of his feet quickly and delicately, only to find that he had overshot his mark and was hurdling over the other side of the sword. He tensed as his fall was stopped by two small hands gripping his calves tightly. "I have you," he heard her say, "I will hold you until you find your balance point."

It was quite difficult indeed. A normal handstand was easy because one's arms were not so close together. It was very difficult to balance in this way. Heledhril could feel the sword shaking in the ground as he tried to pull himself back into an upright position. He felt Belegwen help him along a little, until he found himself in a perfect line with the sword. "Point your toes…good. I am going to let you go now. Focus."

After about five seconds, he felt her hands release their grip and he focused all of his strength into his arms and the center of his body. He felt the sword shaking and starting to swivel a bit as he fought for his balance, then gracefully dismounted before he fell. Shakily, he straightened his back and looked at her. "Indeed, you are correct Commander. It is a very hard test. Where have you learned such training exercises?" He questioned, most curious about her methods. He had never seen anyone do things like this before and wondered where they had originated.

"My father was a guard member, long ago. When he was training, he came up with his own style of sword fighting and started to come up with many exercises that might help train a person to have perfect swordsmanship. When he passed on, he left his book of methods to me and I have tested many of them out, all while forming a few hypotheses of my own. What we have worked on tonight is my own work, which I am greatly excited to try out. I have great hopes that if the method is perfected, it could be of great use to the elves."

"Indeed," Heledhril said, perplexed by the she elf. He could tell that a great amount of her time had been spent on this method. "I would be interested in testing it out with you, if you would like."

"Really?" She asked, looking a bit confused. Her shyness was coming back quickly. "You would help me?"

"But of course!" Heledhril exclaimed, turning on his charm in an attempt to sooth her uneasiness with him. "It is a most interesting theory; I'm perplexed. I have never seen anyone try to improve something like this before. Please, do tell me more." He said, taking a seat on the grassy ground. He watched her as she did the same after pulling her sword from the earth.

"This is all based upon the thought that the sword and elf must be one. By doing balance and strength exercises with the sword, one learns of the sword's limitations and strongholds, as well as one's own. That said, the sword becomes more than just a weapon, but a training tool for all good and necessary things that a warrior should have." She said, then looked over his shoulder and out into the distance. "I do apologize, but Commander Haldir is coming and I will have to work with him now. However, if you are still interested, you could always come out here and meet me again. I am often here at this time."

"Yes, indeed, I will practice your method and meet you out here once I can do it. I am glad that we have had this conversation, milady Commander. Thank you for the lesson and your expertise." Now, both were on their feet and with a small bow, he watched her turn around and approach the Head Commander.

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Immediately, Belegwen knew something was wrong. Though Haldir was almost always serious, there was something different in his demeanor tonight, though she could not quite place what it was. He was…colder, though perhaps a bit detached as well, which was not normal for him. "Come," he suddenly called to her, "There is much for us to discuss." With that, he turned away and plowed into the dark woods with her at his heels, trying to keep up with his long and furious strides.

Indeed, something was bothering him. Belegwen frowned, not really knowing what she could say or do to make him feel better. He had been avoiding her whenever possible, since their night of pleasure, which had been nearly a week ago. He guarded their secret with care, not even talking to her during their 72 hour guard session that had started the next day. Then, the following training sessions had been filled with a tension that was so great that it was nearly unbearable. Now this…

Something had to be done. Belegwen quickly decided that now was not the time for her to be her obedient, shy self. After checking for any signs of Eldarin life around the path, Belegwen quickly grew bold and grabbed his upper arm, pulling it to her bossom tightly to stop him. "Something is bothering you. Tell me." She commanded him as he stopped.

He turned to her, slightly shocked at her actions. Quickly, his eyes scanned the premises to see if anyone was witnessing this. There was nobody about, but that did not stop his anger towards her. "Now is not the time. We will discuss this in the privacy of my tallon." He tersely stated, yanking his arm away from her and continuing on into the heart of Caras Galadhon.

Silently and sadly, she followed him again up the winding steps towards his quarters. There was so much that she did not understand and it brought her an unlimited amount of hurt. She did not understand why she had feelings for this cold beast and why she had given herself to him, as he did not even seem to care. It pained her to think about it all, but yet she could think of little else.

Eventually, they made it up to his room. He opened the door and entered with her following closely behind him, head down in shame. "Sit." He commanded harshly, motioning her to the bed. Lifting her head a little, she sat down and looked up at him, the burden on her heart still showing as greatly as his did. He stared back at her, a slightly odd look in his eyes.

"I have met with the Lady tonight and she did not give news of glad tidings." He started, having Belegwen's full attention. "She has seen a future in her mirror that she is most certain of. We are going to war. Soon."

Belegwen's eyes enlarged as she clenched her fists. "What?!? Who are we fighting at the end of our own age?" She asked tensely.

"We fight the war of the ring. Few details have been disclosed to me; I cannot answer your question. Our only duty now is to start preparing for it. I want you teaching swordsmanship classes. We will work the schedule out tomorrow." He said as he paced the room almost nervously.

"Very well then," Belegwen said coldly, rising from the bed, "Is that all?"

She looked him in the eyes, challenging him to say otherwise. It seemed to make him stop for a moment, as she had planned. "Do not question the Lady's will Belegwen." He stated in a soft, irritated voice.

After walking to the door, her angry eyes met his once again. "It is not the Lady's intentions that I hold in question." She spat, then left feeling quite horrible. She would need time to work all of this out in her head. For now, all she wanted was a nice bath and her bed.

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He stood absolutely still, his eyes still fixed on the door well after she had left. Her eyes were haunting him. Learning about the war did not seem to trouble her as it did him, but she was mad at him—he just knew it. However, what he didn't know was what to do about it.

Trying to ignore it, he found himself stripping down and donning his robe for a bath. Quickly, he went down the stairs to the bathhouse, only to find her exiting it as he entered. Knowing he needed to say something, he grabbed her arm. "Belegwen…"

But that was all he got out, as she ripped her arm away from him and continued on her way without even looking at his face.

Yep, she was mad.

After taking a quick bath, Haldir hurried up the marble steps with the hopes of catching her before she went to sleep. He only made the quickest stop at his tallon to run a comb through his hair before continuing on to hers. He knocked on the door ever-so-softly, but did not wait for an answer before he entered.

The lights had already been dimmed, but she was not in bed. She stood immobile out on the balcony, facing the outer world. He knew she felt his presence, but made no move to turn and face him. Slowly, he approached her, not knowing what he would find. He felt a light breeze as he exited the room onto the balcony. Cautiously, he put his hands on her shoulders. "My lady…" He murmured, slowly sliding his hands down her arms, finding no resistance.

Or so he thought. Whipping around at the speed of light, he found himself face-to-face with a very upset elf commander. Her angry eyes met his and she all but smacked him with her look of indignation. "How dare you?!?" She hissed quietly, grabbing the front of his robe with a clenched hand. "How dare you toy with my heart? I gave you everything I had to give and you ignore me, then come back to beg? Do you think I will accept such poor behavior? Do you?!?"

"My lady, you do not understand-" He started, as she turned away from him and barged back into her room. He continued anyway, following her. "I told you that this has to be a secret. This is the only way that we can have this. I am not mistreating your heart; I am simply not revealing it for all to see."

She stood with her arms crossed, staring at the wall in the faintly lit room. He came up behind her again and gently put his arms around her waist. Feeling no opposition this time, he bent down slightly and brought his lips within an inch of her tiny, pointed ear and whispered sensually, "I still feel the same as I did last week. I care about you, Belegwen."

Now, he felt her tremble in his arms and drew her in closer until he could feel every curve of her backside against the front of his body. Breathing softly on her ear still, he lowered his head and placed a few slow and tender kisses on her neck, awaiting her reaction as his hands slid languidly over the smooth satin robe that covered her stomach.

"If that is how you feel…" She said breathily, "Then why are you so unkind when we are not alone? You say you are just trying to hide…hide what is there, but you needn't be so cruel." She whispered, trying to sound angry but failing more and more with every kiss that he layered up and down her soft neck.

Quickly, he turned her around so she faced him and pulled her chin up with two fingers so that she faced him. Her eyes stared into his and he felt his heart start to beat double-time as he tried to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry."

It was all he could come up with, but it was enough because fiery lips hit his own immediately with a passion he had not dreamed of. One of her hands pushed into his hair while the other dragged down his back, pushing her close against him. He could feel the heat and curves of her body through their thin robes and shuddered as he grasped her tighter and joined in.

It was only one kiss, but it felt like it could burn on for all of eternity. Finally, he pulled away, gasping for breath, in awe of the power of it all. Silently, he pulled her into his embrace and stroked her damp hair, shutting his eyes to savor the moment. "My lady…," he murmured into her hair, "I will try not to be so harsh. You are a commander and deserve more respect than what I have given you. However, I will not allow all others to see any hint of what is happening here. This is a secret and it must be well guarded. You must not think that my actions as a commander have anything to do with my feelings towards you. Promise me you will remember this in the future. No matter how rude or cruel I am, you must promise me that you will let it all go because I am only being what I must—I am doing my job. Do not fear my harshness in the outside world; my feelings for you will not change."

Leaning down again, he kissed her forehead softly. "Promise me now."

She looked up and into his eyes, studying them for sincerity, as she always did. Pushing back a piece of his white-gold hair, she gave him a soft peck on the lips. "I promise."

Happy that she was happy, Haldir smiled, then his eyes glittered and he shoved her against the wall. He nuzzled his face against hers and whispered in her ear, "May I have my way with you?"

"Do you not always?" She murmured, taking his lips roughly with hers and pulling his against her. He grasped her to him and let his hands wander, making her elicit gasps as he touched her in all the right places. His hands went to the tie on her robe and it slid off easily. He lost all control as they reached her bed and he did indeed have his way with her.

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As Belegwen gasped for air, she felt him roll off of her and leave the bed. No, this could not be. He could not just 'have his way with her,' as he had so grossly put it, then get up and leave and expect everything to be fine between them. With the quickness of lightning, her hand shot out and grabbed his arm as hard as she could, trying to clamp on with the iron grip that she knew he had mastered a long time ago.

Her eyes burned into his with a questioning longing for something that he did not understand. "You cannot leave yet." She commanded.

His dark figure looked back at her, his face leaning back down into the small tendrils of dim light that hit the wrinkled bed sheets and her forlorn body, questioning what she wanted silently. "Belegwen, I must go…we have a big day tomorrow and I have only a few hours left to sleep."

Her face became sad and unreadable. She paused, trying to think of the right words to say. "Haldir…all I ever do is give. I give to my people, my land, my lady…I give to you my body and my loyalty. I have given you your comfort…now please…stay and give me mine." She said, begging all while loathing herself for sinking to the level of begging. Why should she beg for his attentions? The whole 'care' thing had obviously just been a big ploy to get her in bed, had it not?

She did not know what to think, and that tormented her heart to no end. All the while, he looked down on her, staring into her eyes with confusion. Finally, he questioned her with an odd expression on his face, "Was that not comfort for you? Did I not give you pleasure?"

"Yes," she shot back immediately, "Yes, you gave me great pleasure, but it is not comfort."

He still looked confused. Male elves…good grief. "Then, what must I do?"

She looked down, wishing she had just let him go. She did not want to plead with him or make him uncomfortable. This was just a big affair, nothing more.

"No," He said suddenly, intensely. He made her look up at him as he sat back down on her bed. "You must tell me what to do. You promised me that you knew of my feelings and intentions and I tell you again, they do not waiver. Tell me what I may do for you."

She saw what she thought was the truth in his eyes. It bothered her; she wondered if what she thought was sincerity really was not. However, it was there, so she must ask.

"Stay with me." She said, giving way to the desperation in her heart for something of permanence. "Please. Even if it's just until I go to sleep. Stay." Then, she shut her eyes, for fear of seeing his anger at such a silly, girlish request. She waited for his reproach…

But it never came.

Instead, she felt him lift the sheet and join her in bed, pulling her towards his naked body. She opened her eyes when she felt his warm skin upon hers and found herself face to face with him. "Like this?" He questioned softly, pecking her cheek as he pulled her into his hard, muscular arms.

"Yes," she breathed, terribly surprised that he was still here. Gently, she snuggled her head into the crook of his shoulder and stared up into the glass roof of the ceiling, looking at the stars.

"Anything for you." He muttered, before wiggling a bit to get comfortable. Then, she sighed softly as his breathing caught a regular pattern.

_"Perhaps,"_ she thought, _"there is hope for us still."_

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So, what do you think? I'm presenting you with an extra-long chapter today. It's the longest I've ever wrote. I plan on it being the first of many because you guys deserve longer chapters than what I've been giving you. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. Though my classes start in soon, I will try to make time for this in my busy schedule.** Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!**

-P.G.


	26. Chapter 26: Blood Lust

Hi, welcome back my loyal readers! School has been keeping me very busy, but I'm here now, bringing you another chapter of angsty and tragic goodness…lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. I only own Belegwen and a few other created characters. The rest is all Tolkiens…until I get enough money to hire some ninjas to steal it.

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 26: Blood Lust

The sun started to shine into a warrior's tallan, creeping into the room ever-so-slowly. Soon it hit the bed and slid onto the face of the lone inhabitant. Frowning, the elf quickly rolled over, trying to maintain the sleep-state. However, the attempt was to no avail. The warm sun heated up her face, causing her to focus her eyes and come out of her sleep.

Blinking a few times, she sat up, clutching her cream-colored sheet over her chest. All of the memories of the previous night filtered back into her head as she stared at a few blowing leaf shadows that were on her terrace. Heledhril…the war…her fight with Haldir…

"He stayed…" she whispered to herself to confirm her memories. She looked back down at her wrinkled satin sheets, which showed that a lot of action had taken place during the previous night. "…but not the whole night." She finally finished after a long break, starting to frown at the thought.

Indeed, she had told him that he could leave once she was asleep, but secretly, she really had hoped he would stay. She had wanted to wake up and find him there, looking as bedraggled as she, wearing nothing but that intoxicating smile that he put on every once in a while, just for her.

She had really hoped he would still be there. Now, everything about the whole night seemed rather disappointing to think about. She had successfully convinced him to stay, but it had probably just been out of guilt. And his promise…well, it was probably just said in haste. "It meant nothing…" She murmured while slowly getting up to grab her fresh clothes. "It never does." Slowly, she proceeded to start getting dressed.

As she laced up her breeches, she noticed something out of place on her desk. After grabbing her undershirt and pulling it on, she walked over to investigate. There were books, but she had not placed them down there. On the top, there was a quickly written note:

_Commander Belegwen,_

_I have worked out a schedule of training education. You are to teach advanced swordplay twice each afternoon, starting today. Use these books to help you guide your pupils training. I might stop by to see your progress. Be confident and teach them well._

_Head Commander Haldir_

Advanced swordplay…

TODAY?!?!?

Was he serious?!? Belegwen had never taken advance swordplay herself…how was she going to teach other elves how to do it? How could she be confident when she was going to teach a class she did not know much about to a group of elves in a few mere hours?!?!

Belegwen quickly put a hand over her mouth, closed her eyes, and fell back against the nearest wall, contemplating everything. First of all, she needed to stop panicking as it was not solving a thing. Secondly, she needed to use these next couple of hours to formulate a teaching plan. Once she had fully composed herself, she sat down at her desk and flipped the first book open.

Quickly, she started to read…

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Rumil climbed the stairs up to his room slowly, having mixed feelings about the news that the High Commander had given all of the wardens that morning. Right from the beginning Rumil had known that something was amiss. It was highly uncommon for all of the soldiers of the Galadhrim to congregate in one area for a meeting. A thick tension had filled the air, as all knew this was unnatural.

They were going to war.

Every elf in the crowd had reacted differently. Some had looked fearful, while others flew into a fit of whispers. Some had looks of shock and disbelief written all over their faces while others flat-out denied it, though it was obvious that they would not be able to keep that stance long. Rumil, however, had made a hasty exit. He found that in trying times, he simply needed to think by himself and make sense of things. It was simply his way of coping with what life dealt him.

When he finally got to the door leading to his room, he had every intention of swiftly entering and lying down on his balcony in the sun to think things through, but instead had his attention drawn to a folded letter that was stuck between his doorframe and the wall. When Rumil looked around, he noticed that all of the warden's doors had similar items protruding from them as well. Quickly, Rumil snatched his up and entered his tallan, happy that he had finally made his escape from society.

Ungracefully, he tore open the seal and unfolded the letter as he flopped down on his bed, skimming it quickly. "Oh, how wonderful…" He muttered, rolling his eyes and laying down on his bed with his arms splayed out dramatically.

Because of the up-and-coming war, all of the elves of Lorien were being assigned classes to improve their skills before the battle. Now he had to go to an Advanced Swordplay class this afternoon. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Yes, under normal circumstances, Rumil would have loved to take a class to improve his skills, as they were occasionally offered, but this one would only serve to remind him of the war that he so desperately did not want to be apart of!

"Bah!" He spat, carelessly throwing down the letter and moving to the balcony. Rumil laid down on the marble floor and stared up into the shiny gold mallorn leaves, illuminated by the sun. A feeling of foreboding passed over his body and he shivered, despite the heat of the sun.

"What is going to become of us?" He whispered.

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Silently, Belegwen exited her room, sword in hand. Her face was calm and collected, though she was anything but that on the inside. It was time. With a plan in her head and Nimrodel sheathed in her hand, she was as ready as she ever would be to teach her first class.

In her heart though, she was scared. More scared than she would be if she was entering a battle. She had never taught anything to anyone before, unless one counted the single sword lesson she had given to Heledhril a few days back. That had been one on one though, a situation Belegwen was much more comfortable with. This time, she would be teaching a sizeable group—she did not even know how many wardens were going to be there!

All of her dark thoughts were interrupted by a smiling warden who happened to be exiting his tallon at the same time as was exiting hers. "Commander." He said, regarding her softly with the slightest tilt of his head.

Belegwen smiled at his friendliness. Because she had cared for him on the fateful night that his brother had passed from the Lorien woods, Rumil and Belegwen had acquired a odd little friendship of sorts. Though they had not ever had a real conversation, there was a silent understanding between the two—a mutual care of some sort. Neither had taken steps to make it anything more though…until now.

She gave him a genuine smile back. _"Perhaps if I talk to him, I will not be so nervous…"_ She thought as she slowly approached him. "Rumil…" She said, regarding him as she approached. "Where are you headed on this fine day?" She asked softly, as she was not entirely certain of how he would react to her after all of this silence.

However, she quickly saw that she had no reason to feel self-conscious around him as he seemed quite pleased to be offered her company. He gave a small, light-hearted chuckle that had the slightest hint of sarcasm to it. "Indeed, despite learning of our involvement in the war, it is a fine day!" He said, making a bit of a joke out of it.

Belegwen smiled sadly at this. "My apologies Rumil. I learned of it last night and was not at the gathering this morning. I did not even think when I said that-"

"No, no…" He said, interrupting her apology, "There is no need to apologize. I know that you did not mean it that way. So, I take it by your apparel that you are heading out to the practice field? Are you required to go to the begrudging sword class as well?"

"Indeed, I am." She replied, uncertain if she should reveal her role in the class or not.

"Oh good, I shall have at least one elf to chat with then as we all deal with one of Haldir's minions…" He continued on, blabbering a bit.

"Haldir's minions?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow much like Haldir, though it was unbeknownst to her.

"Oh yes," Rumil chuckled, "It is a term Orophin and I coined for any poor soul who has ever had to work in close-contact with my brother and put up with his-" Rumil then stopped suddenly, his eyes widening as he stared at her in shock at what he had just said.

Apparently, he had gotten so caught up in the conversation that he had forgotten her position under Haldir. He blushed a bit and, looking rather embarrassed, immediately rebuked himself. "I fear that I have now said something much more foolish than you, Commander. Do accept my apology; I fear that I have no tact whatsoever…"

Quite amused by all of this, Belegwen put a comforting hand on Rumil's shoulder. "As you said before Rumil, there is no need. Indeed, I fear you are right: I am one of Haldir's minions…and now, I do believe we are even, having both said something quite ridiculous to one another."

Seeing that she truly was not mad, Rumil bounced right back to his happy-go-lucky self. "Indeed, even we are. Speaking of Haldir and his minions, how is he treating you? I know he is a difficult elf and rather harsh when it comes to orders…"

Belegwen nearly snorted at this. Harsh? More like brutal. "Well…" She said, trying to find a way to phrase this properly without offending Rumil, "He is very domineering. It was quite trying at the beginning, but things have smoothed over a bit with the passage of time and I have become accustomed to his behavior. It is not that bad…"

Rumil gave her a questioning glance as they trod through the fenced off area of the practice field. "Not that bad…not that bad?!?" He said in a mocking tone, feigning alarm on his face. "Haldir has merely chopped my arm off during a strenuous sword practice, but do not worry! It is not that bad!!!" He said, maintaining his fearful face.

Belegwen broke out in a fit of laughter over this. What a joyful and comical elf he was—not at all like Haldir, who was always so stern and serious! Rumil had an odd sense of humor, but Belegwen found that she was quite delighted with it. "Oh Rumil, you are too silly!" She declared, playfully swatting his arm.

"Oh, most certainly, dearest Commander! I am afraid that Orophin and Haldir took all of the good family genes like intelligence and tact and have left me with all of the foolhardiness and humor!" He said, laughing again with his loud and clear tenor voice.

"Oh Rumil," She said, shaking her head a bit, her voice now taking a more serious tone, "I know that is not true. Now, you must go and warm up before the lesson." She said, pointing to where several other warriors were stretching and having small skirmishes. "I will see you there."

"Yes Commander," He said, tilting his head to her again in respect, then proceeded to run off towards the gathered group of wardens, not noticing that she was smiling at him as he departed.

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Under the golden trees near the edge of the practice field, one figure had seen the whole scene pan out and was now standing as still as a statue, in utter shock as anger boiled within him. Haldir was infuriated and appalled at what he had just saw: Belegwen, walking with his brother, chattering and laughing in the open as if it was quite normal. She seemed so at ease with him…it was unfair! It was unfair that it was Rumil and not him!

A small wave of sadness filled him and he turned away. Rumil had been flirting with her—he knew how his brother was, always charming any ellith that happened to walk in his proximity. He had a flare for it too, one that Haldir most certainly did not.

What if he tried to charm Belegwen and take her for his own? What if she decided Rumil was a much better pick than himself?

_"No, no, no…"_ Haldir thought, chastising himself for thinking of such folly. Rumil would not break the rules of the guard; Haldir knew that his brother had always been a stickler, carefully abiding by all of the laws of Lorien without one thought of rebellion. He would not break the rules for one simple ellith...

Would he?

Originally, Haldir had never planned on breaking the rules either, but he had. What would stop Rumil from doing so if he, the head commander, was defiant enough to disregard the rules?

Haldir shook his head at this in frustration. He did not even know why the silly rule existed in the first place—Belegwen was the only female guard member and there had been no need of such a rule until she came along. Yet, the rule had been there before she had joined the guard, before her parents and brother had met their bitter end…

The rule was getting in his way. He could not even smile at her in public for fear that somebody might assume something. As he had seen last night, she was starting to doubt his …well, whatever he had for her…and now Rumil was closing in.

"I am behaving like a jealous fool…" Haldir said under his breath, rather irritated at himself for letting an ellith affect him like this. He quickly headed out to the archery range in an attempt to straighten out his thoughts before he started in on his Intermediate Knife Skills class. If he had looked behind him, perhaps he would have seen the abominable scene that was starting to unfold in Belegwen's class…

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Belegwen did a double take, shocked at what the elf in front of her had dared to say to her in front of the class. "Excuse me?"

The elf stood his ground on the green field though, looking angrily at her, not willing to stand down from his claim. "You heard me, Commander…" Erthalion said, leaning forward while saying her title with a sarcastic tone to his voice, "I asked you why you are teaching this class. Silly little ellith, you have never even taken this class before because you were in my Intermediate Swordsmanship class all of those years ago and the advanced one has not been offered-"

Heledhril grabbed the seething green-eyed elf by the shoulder and whipped him around to face him. "Erthalion, that is enough! How dare you dishonor our Commander by such speech!"

Erthalion pushed him back forcefully though and turned back to Belegwen. "I dishonor her? It is she who dishonors us with her mediocre skills! I would like a demonstration of these so called sword skills, for I am certain that I could best her most easily!"

Belegwen's eyebrows both shot up at this as she put on her best "Haldir look"—a face of pure haughtiness that only the High Commander could pull off. However, she was determined to show how offended she was without demonstrating her fear. Inside, she did not know what to do. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought that Erthalion would be crazy enough to show his contempt towards her in a public place, in front of other wardens who respected her. Here he was though, with fifteen other wardens in shock at his words that were insulting their leader.

She could not let him get away with this—not in front of all of these elves. She would no longer be looked up to if she did not take care of this problem efficiently. No, Belegwen had not come this far to loose it all. She knew what she had to do.

"You dare to challenge me, warden?" She said, trying her best to sound as stuffy as she could so that her fear would not be detected. "Very well then, we shall dual. I warn you though: you will not win." She said darkly, narrowing her eyes at the perpetrator.

"Ha! We shall see…" He spat, stepping forward out of the ranks of his peers. "Name the rules of this dual, Commander."

"Simple—we shall abide by the regular dual rules. The only weapons that may be used in this battle are our bodies and swords, no concealed knives or anything else. Also, no public interference until the fight is completely over. Is this understood?" She said, now walking beside him so that they had a considerable amount of room between the other elves of the class and themselves.

"Understood." He said, giving Belegwen a little bow, as was the tradition at such a thing. She gave a small bow in return to support the tradition as well, though she had no respect for the elf who had challenged her. Belegwen did not know why this elf hated her so, but she was going to pay him back for bruising her wrists a couple of weeks ago. He should have never gotten away with that; it had only led him to think that he could take advantage of her even more!

Now, in the green clearing of the practice field, Belegwen unsheathed Nimrodel, the blade glittering dangerously as the sunlight hit the precious metal. She watched as Erthalion took out his own sword and gagged it as being a much heavier one than her own. No matter though, Belegwen knew that she would win. She was undefeated and did not plan on letting this moron break her streak.

At the same moment, both of them quickly went into a fighting stance, swords lifted and at the ready, as well as heels slightly lifted for quick maneuvering. The dualing pair quickly made eye contact, green orbs delving into calm blue ones as the match began.

Already, Belegwen could see his weakness. While she was loose and nimble, ready for his attack, he was quite tight—tense with anger. His bitterness towards her would be his greatest flaw in this fight; in fact, Belegwen was certain that it would be his downfall. She wondered if he could even think coherently with all of the rage that was smoldering within him. Soon, she would find out.

"Your move." She stated softly, her eyes glittering and body poised perfectly to attack.

Belegwen did not have to wait long, for immediately after she had uttered those words, he drew up his sword and charged at her. He swung at her and she matched him, their swords gloriously clashing in midair. He held her there and she suddenly realized what his plan was: he was going to try and out her with brute strength.

As her small arms shook under the grievous pressure, she mentally chuckled. He could not win this way in a sword fight. In hand to hand combat, yes, most certainly he could, but not in a sword fight. He would tire quickly if he kept up what he was doing.

However, he seemed to be getting the better of her now with his first blow. He continued to push her and she felt her knees tremble under the pressure. Suddenly, she was on her knees and she knew it was time to get away. Biting her lip with exertion, she pulled Nimrodel off of his sword as fast as she could and rolled through the grass off to his left side, quickly sliding to her feet to parry his next blow. His swing was slow too, she noticed. Many of the ellons enjoyed showing off by using heavier swords, but they simply did not suit everyone. Though Haldir could wield his with an easy grace, Belegwen had seen few others who could do the same.

Erthalion was not one of them.

There was a good chance that part of his problem was his pent up rage. He was not wielding the large sword well at all. He was slow and unbalanced. Being very agile and limber, Belegwen found that she could easily duck or jump out of the way to avoid his blows. This, naturally, seemed to anger him even more.

"Quit avoiding me! Come fight like a real warrior!!!" He bellowed petulantly.

With an eyebrow cocked in amusement, Belegwen answered his request and came at him with a flawless offensive. He met several of her blows, but before long she had landed a decent scrape across his chest and had given his sword elbow a nasty smack with the flat edge of Nimrodel, which caused him to draw back in pain, grasping his elbow as he backed away.

"Give in now," she said quite seriously, "I do not wish to hurt you."

"Never!" He hissed, flexing his elbow a few times to test its strength, then came at her all over again, now swing his sword and his fist angrily. Not expecting his fist, which happened to be much faster than his sword, Belegwen felt herself fall over after his blow connected with her cheek bone. However, quick as lightning she rolled slightly backwards, then flipped herself up, leaving Nimrodel on the ground just as Erthalion jerked his sword towards her again. Flattening her hands, she reached up and clapped them together, catching the sword in midair.

He was gripping the sword much too tightly. How very lucky. Performing a feat of strength all her own, Belegwen simultaneously pulled her left hand up as she jerked her right hand down and sent the hooligan and his sword twirling through the air to the right, both taking a hard landing on the grassy field.

The sword had been separated from its owner. Now was the time to end this shenanigan. Belegwen quickly strode up to Erthalion and pressed her blade against his neck. "Do you surrender warden?"

He looked irate and refused to answer. She sighed and rolled her eyes, outraged by his behavior. "This is over." She stated, then turned from him to return to her class.

She did not expect what happened next, but it happened nonetheless.

Not a moment after she turned from him, a strong hand reached up and around her and grasped her neck much more tightly than anyone had ever done to her before. She felt herself lift off of her feet and quickly brought her empty hand up to try and remove it, finding that her sword hand was being restrained by Erthalion's free hand.

She could not get it off. His grip was tight and despite all of her wiggling struggles, she could not seem to get away. Over her choking, she could hear a few of the wardens in her class yelling, but she could not make sense of it. Vaguely, she heard Erthalion say something about breaking her neck, but she could not make heads or tails of what the others were saying.

Air! She needed air! It was all she could think of as she continued to try and kick and battle her way out of his terribly painful grasp. Then, success! She felt Erthalion's grip on her sword arm loosen and she swung it blindly at his head at her first chance. She felt the tip dig into some skin, but the cursed herself as she felt his grip tighten. The sword was quickly pried from her hands.

Now, she brought her other hand up in desperation and tried to pull herself out of his grasp, but the likelihood of her success was growing smaller and smaller. She could no longer hear any sound and her vision was starting to blur and her lungs…oh, her lungs burnt in a way that she had never imagined possible from the lack of air. There was also a certain cold numbness that was sifting through her body so slowly…so invitingly…oh how good it would be to give into it and ride on the sea, the currents…

_"NO!!!"_ She screamed at herself mentally, half of her still fighting, still determined not to let it end this way. Nevertheless, coherent thought at this point was no longer possible. Belegwen was reeling in the pain and dizziness and slowly, her struggles started to cease.

_"DO NOT GIVE IN!!! TRIP HIM!!!"_ A loud male voice called to her mentally. No longer able to question this thought, she simply went about making it happen as her last attempt on freeing herself. With what little strength she had left, she brought her legs back behind Erthalion's body and pushed the forward with as much power as her weakened state would allow.

It was enough. She felt him teeter and then fall, taking her with him to the ground. Oh, precious air! There it was! He had temporarily let go, but she quickly found that this was short-lived, as she could feel him reaching, trying to pull her back to him to finish the job.

As she looked away from him, she could see a sword lying pretty close her. Belegwen extended her arm as far as she could, grasping a bit at the hilt, but was unable to grab the whole sword. He yanked her back again, but not before she had one last reach which resulted in her grasping the hilt!

Violently, she felt his hand resume its place on her neck with a new vigor, but she would take no more of this. Though she could tell by the horrible weight that she did not grip Nimrodel, it no longer mattered. Belegwen had gotten a few breaths of air along with a sword and that was all she needed to finish Erthalion off! With an abrupt turn of her body, she swung the flat side of the sword with all of the strength she had at Erthalion's head and hit him with a dead-on accuracy that could be matched by few.

Instantly, he let go and fell over, out cold from her strike. After slapping his limp hands away from her neck, Belegwen hastily tried to get to her feet in an attempt to preserve what little dignity she had left in front of her class. However, this was not the right thing to do as her feet had not regained feeling. Strong arms caught her limp body though and pulled her to her feet and into the elf's arms. She clutched at his tunic for dear life, afraid of falling back to the ground in a dizzy spell.

Air! There was finally air! She breathed in the sweet nectar as best as she could, as much as she could!

Thank the Valar! It was finally over!

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I almost left that as a cliffie, but decided it might be a tad bit too cruel. Anyways, what did you think? Good, bad, ugly? Feel free to tell me anything! Alright, and now dear friends, I will do some shameless advertising!

1. I have a newly finished Haldir fic out called My Brother's Keeper! Do check it out if you have not already. It's a two-part Haldir fic about the importance of family. Though it isn't a romance, I'm sure most Haldir fans would enjoy it!

2. A few weeks ago, I started a C2 group called Haldirmance! Do go and check it out! A few of my reviewers have asked for my Haldir het-romance fic recommendations and they are all contained right there, with more to come as I read more fics! Enjoy!

Have a lovely day all!

-P.G.


	27. Chapter 27: Self Admittance

Hi guys, welcome back to my fic! Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm glad everyone's enjoying it! Now, onto my next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises, otherwise I'd be filthy rich and getting a massage and spa treatments while I write this.

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 27: Self Admittance

She was falling. Quickly, Rumil rushed over and grabbed the female commander before she hit the ground and did any further damage to herself. Immediately, he felt her hands latch onto his tunic, albeit weakly as she gasped for air. Rumil tried his best to hold her up as gently as he could, as she looked terribly disoriented and pallid, her white cheeks tinted with a light bluish-lavender color that was also shading in her fair lips. There were horribly large bruises of many putrid colors all around her neck, the angry marks emphasized by her paleness. Rumil could sense her fear, though she was trying to mesh her face into a one of indifference.

She had almost died at the hands of an angry, murderous elf. Rumil knew that he surely looked as horrified as she after witnessing such a shocking scene…

_"Good riddance…" The elf next to Rumil said with a chuckle as Commander Belegwen declared to Erthalion that their dual was over. She had clearly been victorious and was smiling smugly as she turned away from him. "The great oaf deserved to be thrown off of his high horse after being in such a foul state for the past few months!"_

_Rumil turned to meet his companion's smiling eyes, only to hear a choir of gasps break out among the ranks. He whipped his head back around and his eyes grew large with shock at the scene he was witnessing. Erthalion, a good member of the guard for years upon years was strangling a fellow elf!_

_"Vala…" Rumil whispered, frozen with fear for a second, before bolting forward with several other elves to fight off the traitor._

_"STAND BACK OR I SHALL BREAK HER NECK!!!" He screamed, staring at them in a threatening manner. He could do it…and he would do it. The elf was crazy! Rumil stopped in his tracks upon hearing this and slowly started to back up, fearing that Erthalion would break her neck if he did not. If that happened, it would all be over. While he was holding her like that, there was still a chance of her escaping…_

_"Erthalion," stated a calm, reasonable Heledhril, ever the mediator, "Please, put her down. You are going to kill her, Erthalion. You do not want the blood of an innocent life on your hands-"_

_"Oh, be quiet," Erthalion growled back, looking for Heledhril, "You do not know what I want!"_

_However, his search for Heledhril had distracted him and Commander Belegwen seemed to realize this. Her restrained hand that still held her sword twitched a bit, then lashed out in an attack at his face. Erthalion screamed as she swiped his right ear, cutting the pointy tip clear off! Quickly, she was disarmed, Erthalion now seething at the loss of the Eldarin part of his ear. Because of it, he seemed to tighten his grip on her even more, ignoring the fact that his ear was bleeding quite profusely._

_Her movements were now slowing down. Rumil could see that it was going to be over soon, panicking at her grief-stricken face that was quickly looking more and more white. "Help!!! HELP!!!" He cried out desperately, scanning the fields for someone, anyone who could help before she died! "HALDIR!!!" He screamed, seeing his brother over at the archery range._

_Haldir looked over and a shocked expression flew over his features before he hid it. Immediately, he was barreling over, but came a few seconds too late, as right before he arrived, the lady commander decided to take things into her own hands, tripping Erthalion quickly, then grabbing up his sword and whacking him into the next century with the flat edge. Everyone sort of stopped what they were doing and stared as she quickly tried to get up and away from her attacker…_

"It is going to be okay…" Rumil whispered to the shaking ellith, holding her up in her weakness. Not that he thought she was weak of course—any elf or man who had been put in a situation like that would be frail afterwards, that was just plain obvious. Lightly, he guided her chin up a big to look at her bruises a little bit closer.

"Oh dear Vala…" He whispered, looking at the colorful abrasions. There were light and dark greens, blues, and purples all over the front of her neck. It looked absolutely dreadful.

A wave of guilt crashed over Rumil as he let go of her chin to hold her up more steadily. If only there had been something that he could have done to help prevent this… Nobody could move though… Erthalion surely would have broken her neck, would he not? Rumil felt a tear run down his cheek as he held her closer. The tension had been so high…Vala, he thought he would see her die right there just after having met her. To die at the hands of an orc, that was one thing, an unpreventable thing for many wardens. However, to die at the hands of an elf, that would have been a real tragedy. Rumil did not know how he would have dealt with something of that nature, or even if he could.

"Here, let me help you." A quieted voice said, taking one of Belegwen's arms off of him. It was Heledhril, who looked very concerned and distressed over the current situation. He pulled her right arm over his shoulder and Rumil put her left arm over his own so that she was balanced between the two. "We shall help her sit down…" Heledhril commanded, slowly descending to his knees as Rumil mimicked the motion, using his other arm to push her shaky legs out from under her body and into a comfortable sitting position.

"Commander," Heledhril questioned, directing her face towards him with a small touch, "Are you getting enough air?"

She nodded a bit. Rumil watched as Heledhril opened his mouth to ask another question, but then stopped as a shadow fell over him.

Haldir…and he did not look happy.

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Haldir found that his head was spinning at this whole incident. His heart was beating terribly fast and he could not seem to get it to calm down. She had been strangled…strangled! And by one of her own people, a warden of his own guard! A warden who he had thought was respectable! A warden who he had considered good enough to work as a second to himself!

He turned to glance at her and grimaced, for she looked as pale as a dead elf, unsteady and…and in Rumil's arms?!? Shock, anger, and a thousand other emotions flew over him in waves, though he did not let it show on his physical features._ "No,"_ he thought to himself, _"You must not think of this right now…save it for later…"_ After focusing his thoughts, he ripped himself away from that sight and focused on the problem that was lying in the grass at his feet.

Erthalion, it appeared, had not faired well in his last moments of the battle and had sustained quite a few wounds. There were two places on his body that had slashes: both his chest and his head, but there was also a chunk missing from the top of his ear, which was bleeding copiously. His other ear seemed to be bleeding too, but the blood was coming from inside of the ear. _"That cannot be good…"_ Haldir thought, furrowing his brow as he got down on his knees to examine the traitor.

Grabbing up Erthalion's wrist, Haldir pushed his fingers against the limp flesh as he tried to feel for a pulse. "Sir, is…is he still alive?" He heard a warden ask, and looked up to find that he was surrounded by quite a few of the wardens who were in Belegwen's class, all bearing different emotions on their faces.

"Yes…he has a pulse, but it is weak." He said in a dark voice. "Tell me how this came to be." He commanded.

The tall blonde elf who had previously asked the question knelt down to face the commander and started recalling the terrible tale. "It all started innocently enough… Erthalion was angry and questioned Commander Belegwen's swordsmanship skills, as she has not taken the class she is teaching sir. He challenged her and to maintain her honor, I suppose, she accepted his duel. They abided by all of the formal dueling rules, sir, and Commander Belegwen was soon triumphant. However, Erthalion refused to admit defeat when she had him down, but I think she got sick of waiting on him because she declared the duel was over and turned away. The moment she turned away sir, Erthalion attacked her and started to strangle her. Many of us wardens jumped to save her, but he threatened to break her neck sir, and we were all quite certain he would if we moved, so we stayed in place and Rumil called to you. She freed herself before you got here though, but I am certain you witnessed that part yourself…" He finished softly, looking Haldir straight in the face to show his sincerity.

"Indeed…" Haldir stated, then quickly gathered himself together again to issue orders. "You two," He said, pointing to two silver-haired wardens in the crowed, "Go retrieve a litter from the healer's flets, then come back and load him up and carry him there. You are to remain there guarding him until I send others to relieve you. Keep a close watch on the traitor and do not allow him to harm anyone if he wakes up. The rest of you are dismissed."

As the elves around him dispersed, Haldir took one last look at the traitor before getting up. His eyes turned now to the victim, who was sitting in silence with an elf kneeling at each side, holding her up, as well as a few other concerned loiterers who were standing behind them.

She looked ill, to say the least. Haldir bit his lip in concern as he approached him and found himself getting angrier and angrier by the second about what Erthalion had done. Such treason, an elf hurting an elf with a thirst for blood! How dare he! How dare he hurt the one he…the one he cared for so deeply!

"I have special jobs for you both." He commanded upon arriving a few feet from the group. "Rumil, I need you to teach my Intermediate Knife Skills class for today. All you need to do is review beginning skills…feel free to dismiss them as soon as you are done; you need not fill the entire two hours. Heledhril, you are to wait here until Commander Belegwen's next class arrives and inform them that their class will not be starting until further notice. I will escort her to the healer's flet immediately." He said, motioning the two wardens to lift her to her feet.

Gently, Haldir took her chin in the way that Heledhril had so that she would look at him. "Can you walk at all?" He asked softly, looking into her eyes, which now seemed a little more focused than they had previously been. She nodded a bit, but when she tried to step away from Rumil and Heledhril, she almost collapsed, but was finally caught in Haldir's arms. Quickly, he pulled her into his arms and started to head towards the healer's flet at a fast walk. Really, he wanted to run because she did not look well at all, but Haldir restrained himself, as jostling her around might make the situation worse.

He found himself suddenly looking down at her as he felt her grip his tunic. "Am I hurting you?" He quickly questioned, noting the look of pain in her eyes had returned.

She opened her mouth and tried to say something, but the only sound she could produce was a small rasping noise. Frowning even more, she shook her head no and then leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. After Haldir looked around to make sure no one was looking, he caressed her arm a bit, trying to provide a little bit of comfort to her in her time of need. "Everything is going to be okay…" He whispered to her, "We are almost there."

About a minute later, Haldir reached Eltirwen's flet. Ever so carefully, he draped her body over his shoulder, then quickly climbed the ladder, fearful that she would not be able to breathe in her current position. The moment that his feet hit the wooden floor of the flet's large veranda, he immediately pulled her back into his arms, then pushed through the door to Eltirwen's flet without knocking.

"ELTIRWEN!!!" He yelled out quite loudly when he did not see her upon his entry into the flet. This, naturally, was followed by the sound of a gasp, glass breaking, and a few choice words that need not be repeated. A few moments later, Haldir could hear angry footsteps stomping towards him.

"Confound it all, Commander Haldir! Why do you never knock before enter-oh!" Eltirwen exclaimed, forgetting all of her irritation towards Haldir upon seeing Belegwen. Shock filled her eyes as she rushed over to examine Belegwen's neck. "Oh…oh dear Vala! Haldir, what happened?" She whispered, already noticeably upset about seeing the terrible marks that Belegwen was bearing.

"She was attacked and strangled." Haldir said, following Eltirwen as she motioned him towards one of the patient rooms in the flet. He hastily placed Belegwen down on the bed in the room as Eltirwen grabbed three large, fluffy pillows from one of the room's closets and propped Belegwen up with them so that she was sitting in a reclined fashion. Haldir automatically stepped aside so that Eltirwen could do her work after she got Belegwen comfortable. Once she was done arranging Belegwen on the pillows, Eltirwen bent down to take a closer look at the colorful bruises that were adorning Belegwen's neck.

"Oh dear, it is swelling…" She said softly to herself, the reached down to tenderly touch one of the marks, but when her fingers made contact with Belegwen's flesh, a sharp hiss was heard and Belegwen launched herself in the opposite direction, panic obvious in her eyes.

Eltirwen looked rather sad at this. Quietly, she looked Belegwen straight in the eyes and said in a soft voice, "I am so sorry this happened Belegwen… I shall do my very best to help heal you." Then, after giving her shoulder a small, encouraging squeeze, Eltirwen walked over to the large set of cabinets that were in the room and started rummaging through their contents until she had removed several items.

"Okay my dear, first you need a spoonful of this. It tastes horrid, but it will help the swelling in your throat go down." Eltirwen stated, smiling at her as she poured a large spoonful of a thick, burgundy syrup and put it up to Belegwen's lips. "Here, tilt your head back a bit to make it easier to swallow…"

Haldir watched as Belegwen grimaced when she swallowed; apparently the pain would make it rather hard for her to ingest anything for a while. Guilt suddenly washed over Haldir once more. _"If only I had gotten there faster-"_

However, his grim thoughts only earned him a hefty slap on his shoulder. "Now is no time to be on a guilt trip. Here, you make her take four big whiffs of this these smelling salts while I prepare her a bath." She commanded, surprising Haldir.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" He questioned quietly.

"I have only seen that face a thousand times before…" She said as she left the room. "Do not forget the smelling salts!" She called out from the hall.

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From the bathtub, Belegwen could hear two voices whispering furiously to each other in the next room over. Craning her head back a bit, she tried to make sense of what they were saying, but found that she could not understand them, being just slightly out of range. Slowly, she let herself sink back into the steaming, herb-filled waters. She stared at her small figure as she laid down as well as she could in the small tub. Her body was wrapped in a soft navy blue sheet that had come off of Eltirwen's bed in order to maintain her modesty, as Haldir had carried her to the comforting tub.

Not that he had not seen everything before, of course…but Eltirwen did not know about that.

Deciding that it was best not to think about Haldir at this time, Belegwen closed her eyes and tried her best to relax. However, when she shut her eyes, she saw Erthalion's eyes glaring back at her and her own immediately snapped back open again. Those eyes would haunt her dreams now.

He had tried to kill her…of this she had no doubt. She would not ever forget the feel of his hands around her neck, her burning lungs, the sea…the sea. For the first time in all of her long years, she had felt the sea and she had welcomed it at the time…

"Oh Vala…" She whimpered to herself, pulling her legs in close and wrapping her arms around them protectively. Death had been so close…so close. She leaned in even more and leaned her head against her legs now, curling into a ball. She did not move when she heard the other two elves enter her room again, as she was gravely upset.

Belegwen heard Eltirwen sigh as she felt the healer's hand rest upon the top of her head, stroking her dry hair soothingly. "This will only take a minute…" She said softly. Confused, Belegwen lifted her head to look at the healer, only to feel a great burning sensation as a rag touched her neck.

"NO!!!" She rasped and maneuvered away from the elf who had inflicted the pain as quickly as she could, splashing water out of the bath in the process.

She looked up at Eltirwen, totally bewildered, only to see her giving some sort of signal to Haldir with her eyes. Before she could move away, Belegwen felt his strong arms embrace her, holding her down and in place. "I am sorry, my dear, but this is for your own good. It will just take a second if you hold still." Eltirwen offered her, looking at her in a concerned fashion.

Her hand was reaching for Belegwen's neck again. Panicking once again, Belegwen struggled as much as she could, then yanked herself forward with all of her might to avoid the touch of the cloth.

This, of course, resulted in pandemonium.

A giant splash could be heard behind her as a great amount of water seeped out of the tub when the High Commander of the Galadhrim was pulled in! Though slightly shocked that Haldir was in the tub with her, Belegwen continued to struggle against his iron grip. Water poured out of the tub while the bodies fought each other.

Finally, she found herself giving up though, as Haldir had managed to push her up against his chest and was now holding her there quite tightly. "Do it now Eltirwen!" He called out to her.

Again, Belegwen resisted him with all of her might, but it was to no avail. In her weakened state, she could not pull herself away from him; he was simply too powerful. Biting her lip, she writhed in pain as the cloth touched her neck, burning her battered neck with every stroke, no matter how light. She desperately wanted to cry, feeling violated as her neck was touched against her will, but she held it in. She could never cry in front of Haldir; he would think her weak and pathetic and she could not have that, not after she had earned his respect as a leader.

Finally, the pain subsided as the cloth was taken away. Still completely tensed up, Belegwen wheezed a bit, trying to catch her breath after all of her struggling. She felt Haldir's puissant arms finally slacken a bit, but they did not let her go just yet.

"Haldir, are you okay?" She heard Eltirwen ask, sounding a bit worried. "It looked like it hurt when you slipped into the water-"

"I am fine." Belegwen heard him reply abruptly, feeling his chest rumble a bit as he said it. "Though I shall require some new clothes. I cannot walk through Caras Galadhon looking like this."

"Oh, very well. I shall go find a maid in the warrior's corridors and have her bring me some of your clothing. I will return quickly; just sit tight and do not get out of that tub until I get back and clean up all of this water! I do not want to treat more injuries when I get back because you slipped and fell! And yes, that means you, Haldir!" She called out loudly, turning to point at Haldir for emphasis before she turned and carefully left the wet room.

Both sat there in silence, still and quite tense until they heard Eltirwen's door open and close, signaling her exit from the flet. Then, both breathed a sigh of relief at the same time and sunk deeper into the tub, Haldir's arms wrapping around her once again and pulling her very close to him.

"Are you okay? Can you talk?" She heard him ask her, his lips touching her ear lightly as he spoke.

Belegwen leaned into him as best as she could and relaxed against his chest. "I think so…yes." She said, though she was immediately appalled by her gravely voice that refused to raise its tone above a whisper. She frowned at this. "I sound terrible…"

"You look terrible too. You should see that neck of yours; it is quite a sight to behold." Haldir said to her softly. "Are you certain you are okay? Can you breathe well?" He asked quickly, rubbing her stomach ever so gently in an attempt to comfort her.

Though he was trying to hide it, she could hear the worry in his voice. Smiling a bit, she slowly rotated to her side so that she could look at him. She smiled even more at the sight; there he was, fully clothed in the bath, looking down at her intensely. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled into his neck. "I can breathe better than earlier, though it is not back to normal yet…" She rasped softly, stroking his cheek and looking up at him, "There is no need to worry about me Haldir."

He now looked a little uneasy. She saw a small glistening in his eyes, unshed tears that were on the verge of falling. He held them in though; she knew that he was not willing to let them fall in her presence this time. She delved into his eyes and saw his soul, pure and kind, staring back at her, his worry for her quite present. "I…It looked like you might…" He whispered after a while, raising a hand to stroke her cheek gently.

"I know," she whispered, placing her hand over his when it stopped on her cheek, "I heard the sea call out to me." She murmured in a haunted voice, her eyes widening as she remembered the terrible moment again. "I was scared."

"You had reason to be…" He said softly, then bent down to kiss her. All he managed was a small peck before he pulled away though, as they both heard the door open, marking Eltirwen's return.

And the secret remained a secret for the time being.

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"There." Haldir stateded as he finished tucking Belegwen into her own bed. Eltirwen had released her an hour ago, saying that she would send special broths down to the cafeteria for Belegwen to eat until her throat had recovered enough for her to have solid food. Other than her neck, there was nothing really wrong with her and thus, Haldir had escorted her back up to her tallon, despite the fact that he was still a little worried about leaving her alone.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked her as he situated a small, extra pillow under her neck, just as Eltirwen had instructed.

"Yes, please…I do not want to be alone tonight." She whispered, looking a bit nervous. Immediately, she looked away. "I am sorry; I should not burden you as such-"

"It is not a burden." He said, shaking his head. "You are not a burden to me."

He quickly took off his tunic and tossed it aside before getting into the small bed with her, being careful not to disturb her neck. He laid down on his stomach, placing his arm around her just underneath her breasts. He turned his head so that he could look at her, but frowned when he saw that she was not happy.

"You must think me weak then, which is almost a worse predicament…" She said sadly.

"Weak?" He questioned in disbelief. Quickly, he reached out for her chin and lightly turned her head so that she was facing him. "Why would I think you weak? You are my second—you best me at swordplay all the time! You have never turned away from danger, but faced it with all of your strength and intellect. You have narrowly evaded death on several occasions, yet you still battle on, ever the warrior! My dearest Belegwen, you are by no means weak. Never have I thought that about you. Never." He said passionately, hoping to relieve some of her self-doubts.

A long time passed where she simply stared at him—stared into his eyes, but finally, a small smile touched the corners of her mouth. He smiled back at her and reached out to stroke her silver hair, twisting it around his finger after he ran his fingers to the botton of the locks.

Silence reigned now. Slowly, he felt her shift in the bed and roll towards him, her lips hitting his and putting him into a state of pure ecstasy with their languid motions. They found a new rhythm on this night, softer and gentler than every before. Slowly, they rolled over together as one, bodies burning.

"I need you…" She whispered softly before leaning up and bestowing him with another sensual kiss. "Tonight…"

Haldir broke away from her for a second. "Are you certain?" He asked, questioning her with his eyes. Indeed, he knew she was not weak, but any elf would surely be tired and in pain after going through what she had endured during the day. He did not want to hurt her or inhibit her healing in any way by bedding her…

"Yes!" She said more urgently now, grasping his buttocks and pulling him in as close to her as she could. "Please Haldir…I need you. I need you so badly…" She rasped, desperation in her voice.

That was all Haldir needed. With an arrogant grin on his face, he kissed her passionately, pulling her against him as he caressed her back. All he could think about was pleasuring his lady. _"Yes,"_ he thought to himself, _"She is my lady…she is all that I want."_

Haldir gave in. Long had he avoided thoughts about her being anything special to him, but looking down at her now, her face scrunched with pleasure at his ministrations, he knew he would love no other.

He loved her.

Haldir shivered at the thought. It was all so new to him—overwhelming, yet he could not stop thinking about it as he touched her. What would it be like to have her at his side for all time? Was it possible? Would she want it?

He wanted it.

He wanted it badly.

As he joined with her on this night, he thought about marriage, even though he knew it was impossible. He thought about them being in public, together, not having to guard their actions. He thought about elflings….

Elflings.

What Haldir did not know was that the lady Belegwen was thinking about the same thing.

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Did you like it? Was there too much fluff? Let me know what you think! Have a great day!

-P.G.


	28. Chapter 28: A Crime Forgotten

Hi! Welcome back to my fic To Be Forever Faithful! I've recently received a question as to why Belegwen and Haldir have to keep their romance a secret and I would like to take the opportunity to clarify, as I must not have made it clear in my texts (and for that I apologize!!). There are quite an assortment of reasons as to why they cannot be seen in the open together. According to the rules of the guard set in my fic, the members of the guard are prohibited from having relationships outside of friendship with other members of the guard. This is in place to keep the peace. I mean, if one of the guard members found out about Haldir and Belegwen's nightly rendezvous, they would believe that Belegwen had gotten her job by sleeping with Haldir.

Plus, I have set higher standards for the Eldarin society. In my fic, though assorted guard members have slept with humans, they only sleep with one ellith who is to be their lifemate. Haldir and Belegwen are breaking many rules by doing what they are doing. On top of all of this, both of them have their own personal faults that seem to hinder them from admitting to the other that there are real feelings at stake here.

I hope that cleared some issues up! Let me know if it did not…and now, onto the fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 28: A Crime Forgotten

Feeling a sudden and slow movement, Haldir quickly awoke from his reverie. He registered that it was still night outside, the moon high in the sky outside of the open part of the room that he and Belegwen were lying in, illuminating her pale skin as she twisted away from him to face the outside. Seeing this, Haldir frowned and pulled her back towards himself, his nose nuzzling her ear through her silvery tresses.

"Belegwen," He whispered in her ear, "Why are you not asleep? You need rest to heal…"

She was silent and still for a few moments before finally turning her head back with a small wince to look at him. "I have too many things on my mind…" She whispered softly, still rasping a bit, though not as badly as before.

He watched her as she settled her head back on the pillow with a sigh. "Will you tell me about it?" He asked her lazily, running his left hand down the side of her smooth body languidly.

"Haldir…earlier today…during my fight with Erthalion…someone said something inside of my head…but it was not Galadriel." She whispered, sounding rather distressed. "It was a male voice."

Haldir cocked his eyebrow at this. "Belegwen, there are no ellons in Lothlorien who have that gift." He said, settling his hand on her thigh.

"I know," she whispered back, sounding uneasy, "…but it is what I heard. I am certain of this."

"What did the voice say?" Haldir asked, changing the subject deftly.

"He…he told me to trip Erthalion. I could no longer think clearly at that point, so I just did what I was told." She whispered almost inaudibly, obviously haunted by the thought. She paused for a moment, before adding, "Haldir…I trusted that warden…and…and…"

In response to feeling her shiver, Haldir lifted himself up onto an elbow to look at her face. She was blinking repeatedly, trying to keep the glistening water in her eyes from falling. Haldir had never seen her cry before and was at a slight loss of what to do. He thought back to the time when she had confronted him at Orophin's grave; he had grasped her tightly for comfort. With this in mind, Haldir gently flipped her so that she was facing him again, though she refused to meet his eyes. He pulled her close and attempted to rub her back, but was surprised when she pulled away.

"I do not need comfort." She stated coldly, sitting up quickly, again facing away from him. "Nothing is wrong with me. I should go practice before I teach my class tomorrow."

He watched as her naked form left the bed. Normally, seeing her bathed in moonlight like this would have brought him great pleasure, but he could tell that she was terribly upset and that bothered him. "But it is the middle of the night…" He protested calmly, "You need your rest Belegwen. Come back to bed."

However, it was as if she had not heard him, for she started to get dressed, quickly pulling a pair of clean leggings from her closet after putting on a clean undershirt. In a matter of moments she was dressed and pulling her hair into one fat, sloppy braid that fell all the way down her back.

"Belegwen…" He pleaded, not wanting her to leave, especially not when she was angry with him or scared or whatever it was that she had previously been feeling. Haldir did not know and she would not tell him! He watched helplessly as she flew out the door of her flet as swiftly as she could manage.

Distressed at her rapid change of emotions, Haldir sighed and laid back down on her bed, staring at the ceiling silently. It looked like it was going to be a long, lonely night…

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A shadow tore through the night at a speed unmatched by most. Crying, Belegwen found herself fleeing past the practice field and quickly approaching the edge of the city. Reason was no longer in her mind and the sharp branches of shrubs tore at her exposed hands and face as she carelessly ran.

Belegwen had no specific destination in mind, but was not surprised when she found herself slowing down at the edge of the city. Finally coming to a stop, she bent down to catch her breath, then quickly stood up, remembering that it was easier to catch one's breath in an upright position. When she finally looked up and registered where she was though, she immediately fell to her knees, a new wave of pain hitting her head-on.

Her parents' old flet. She had not come here in years, but her feet had led her here against her own will tonight. Belegwen shuddered as her eyes slowly looked up, following the tree trunk up into the foliage, dreading what she would see next.

It was still there. The little wooden flet with a veranda that wrapped all the way around it still stood prominently in the old mallorn tree where it had always been. The windows were all dark, nestled in their wooden holders that were slightly warped from wear and lack of care over the years. No one had wanted to live in it…not after the gruesome deaths that had occurred there.

Nobody would have ever thought that orcs could make it all the way to the city, but when a huge attack occurred at the borders, a few had gotten away and Belegwen's house was the first one that they had come to, being on the edge of the city…

…and the rest was history.

Overwhelmed, Belegwen succumbed to all of the pain that she had been holding inside of her and broke down for a second time that night. Slowly, she crawled on her knees towards the great mallorn that held her old home and put her arms around it, her left cheek resting against the warm bark.

"Oh ada," she whispered softly, "Why does nothing in my life go right?"

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In the early morning, Haldir found himself wandering through Galadriel's garden, deep thoughts running through his head. Though it was close to morning, the sky was still black and the stars were still glistening from the heavens.

Haldir frowned as she came into his thoughts again. After waiting in her bed for a while, he had dressed and walked out to the practice field with the hopes of finding her there, but he had no such luck. In fact, Haldir had walked all of the main pathways in Lorien and had not found her. He was beginning to think that she had run off into the forest again, though it was really an unsafe practice for her to do in the middle of the night, especially when no one knew about it…

_"Oh dear Vala,"_ he thought to himself: he really did love her. He could not stop thinking about her; all he wished was that she was back in her flet, safe, and with him. However, Haldir could not voice his desire to her, as she was a full-blown warrior, second only to him. She would not allow herself to cry in front of him, let alone be coddled. Not that he really wanted to coddle her anyway—it would kill her spirit of independence, her strength, her determination…no, he would not see her melt away into the cocoon she had once been trapped in. He loved her just the way she was.

And there was that pesky "L-word" again.

Love. It still made Haldir uneasy to think about it. He could hardly believe that after all of these long years, he really had found an ellith that he really cared about…well, assuming that she felt the same way, of course. Right now, he was not so sure. Less than a week ago, she had all but begged for him to hold her and comfort her during the night, but tonight when she needed him most, she had pushed him away. He did not understand her change of heart and it hurt him that she would not cry in front of him, though he had lowered his guard enough to do it in front of her—more than once too, if he remembered correctly.

Frustrated, Haldir sighed and sat himself down on a small white bench, whose marble legs were intricately carved into flowering vines, curving around each other in an almost natural way. He looked at all of the beauty around him before putting his head down in his cupped hands.

What if she did not love him back?

As sadness overtook his normally strict demeanor, he raised his head up and found himself looking at the night-opening bluebells that were growing on the other side of the stone path. Haldir smiled sadly as he found himself approaching them, getting down on his knees to see them better.

"Beautiful at night, but hidden from the world during the day…just like us." He whispered to himself, staring at the small blue flowers. Without a second thought, Haldir plucked a couple of small blossoms off of the plant and held them in his hand as he continued on down the path which led to the garden's exit. His mind went blank as he walked, watching the first lights of the sun appear, a light blue tint entering the sky, making way for the sun that would soon follow.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, he found himself in front of her tallan door. Having been daydreaming while walking, he had not really been paying attention to where he was going. After quickly checking to make sure no one was around, Haldir slipped through her door silently, hoping that perhaps she had returned while he was away.

No such luck. The room looked exactly how he left it; there were no signs that she had returned. Silently, he approached the bed, mentally picturing her laying there as she had at the beginning of the night, her body sprawled out wildly after their pleasure seeking. Smiling at the thought, he suddenly remembered the flowers. He lifted his arm up and opened his fist to view them again. Though one was a little bit smashed, the other was still quite lovely.

Gently, he laid them down on her pillow. Whether she would appreciate them or not, Haldir did not know. He needed to make things right between them, no matter what. The misconceptions needed to be cleared up so that they could flourish…together.

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Rumil sighed as he sat sullenly in a darkened healer's flet. Black thoughts brewed in his mind as he guarded the elf that laid unmoving on the table. Slowly, the softest glow was starting to come into view from the window that was across the room from him, the sun's first rays turning the dark blue sky back into its paler form.

After going into a slight daze for a couple of minutes, he shook his head violently, mentally chastising himself for falling asleep on the job. It was a very important job too, guarding Erthalion, for the healers certainly could not defend themselves very well against any vicious attacks, should he woke up in a fit of rage. However, everything had been quite peaceful for the past 12 hours, as he had yet to wake up. He was still out cold from the wallop that Commander Belegwen had dealt him!

Hearing nearly silent footsteps approaching the room from the hallway, Rumil rotated his whole body around to face the room's dark entranceway as the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Eltirwen. She was still quite obviously in her nightgown, though she had wrapped herself up in a navy blue satin robe which had delicate white flowers embroidered on the edges.

"Good morning, my lady." Rumil said, tilting his head down in a slight greeting as the elder elf looked at him, returning to him a charming smile of her own.

"Good morning to you as well, Rumil." She said, cautiously approaching Erthalion's bedside. "Any changes in the past few hours?" She asked softly as she gently touched the bandage that covered Erthalion's severed ear, lifting it to see how the healing process was coming along.

Rumil let out a small snort of amusement. "Nope, this job has been about as interesting as watching paint dry." He said while stretching out his arms, then relaxing them behind his head as he watched Eltirwen check the remainder of Erthalion's other wounds. He was just leaning back to get in a more relaxing position, when Eltirwen suddenly gasped and backed away from the bed.

Upon seeing this, Rumil immediately jumped up and in a second was at the edge of the bed, signaling the other warden in from his station outside of the door with a small whistle. Immediately, the other blonde bounded in.

Heledhril. Since he was such a good mediator and had even at one time considered himself a close friend with Erthalion, it had only made sense that he helped in the guarding process. Perhaps he would be able to say the right words to calm the ellon down.

"Eltirwen!" Rumil cried, "Quick! Send for Haldir!" He exclaimed, watching as she immediately exited the room.

Each elf took one side of the bed and stared down at Erthalion intensely. His breathing was no longer even, which was a sign that he was rousing. The two watched as the elf slowly started to move, his head rolling towards Rumil, shutting and scrunching up his open eyes as the pain of his injuries started to register to him. Then, his unhurried eyes cracked open again, though they looked rather unfocused, as if he was still in a haze.

He muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, then with shaky arms, tried to arise. However, both Rumil and Heledhril grabbed one of his arms and thrust him back down onto the bed mercilessly, causing him to moan in pain.

"Do not try to move. You are being detained." Rumil commanded, staring into Erthalion's hazy and comfused eyes with intense distaste.

"…wha…what?" Erthalion mumbled, finally managing to focus his eyes on Rumil. Again he tried to rise, only to be brutally pushed back down on the bed by two wardens with severe looks on their faces.

"I said do not move!" Rumil repeated even more harshly than before, the anger rising in him as he thought of the rainbow that adorned Commander Belegwen's neck because of the mad fool that was lying beneath his grasp, "It would be wise for you to heed my warning…Erthalion." He said in a dangerously low voice, spitting out his name at the end of his sentence with disgust.

"…but…what has hap...pened?" He whispered, pausing in mid-sentence as he turned his face away from Rumil's and towards Heledhril's. "Heledhril?"

Rumil looked at Heledhril, only to see that the young warden's face looked slightly perplexed at the question that was out in the open. "You have committed a terrible crime Erthalion. You know of what I speak." He stated solemnly, though his eyebrows were drawn in confusion.

"N-no…I do not." He repeated, his breaths becoming shallow as he started to fully comprehend what was going on around him. "What is this…this crime you speak of?" His face now contorted into a look of panic as he whispered, "What have I done?"

Undiluted fury rose up in Rumil at this statement and, without thinking, he smacked Erthalion across the face. "You are sick! Deny it all you want warden—you will get what you deserve! In fact, I daresay that this will be the last time anyone calls you warden, for when my brother gets here, you will be stripped of your position and much more!"

Erthalion's only reaction to this was to stare at Rumil in shock. This irritated Rumil even more. Rage overtaking him again, Rumil slapped his right hand against the bedside table, causing all of the contents to rattle and clang as they jumped up with moment, a few even clattering to the floor. "Let up on your game!" He said, enraged and rather loud, "You think I am angry? If you continue this game for the commander of Lorien's guard, I would guess that you have a death wish for yourself."

Rumil held up his hand to smack the table again in frustration, only to stop as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Rumil, my friend," Heledhril started, his eyes full of concern and his voice smooth and soothing, "Please calm down. We must stay focused on our task and…" He paused, looking as though he was choosing his words carefully. "…and…I think he might be telling the truth."

Those soft words burned Rumil's ears. Telling the truth?!? He glared at Heledhril and started to retort, only to stop in his tracks as the high commander of the Lorien guard appeared in the doorway.

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As Haldir looked at the culprit from the doorway, he maintained his cool exterior, despite the fact that he was burning inside with a passionate rage. He wanted to strangle the elf, give him a little taste of what he had inflicted upon Belegwen. Deep down, Haldir knew that revenge was a very dark path though, and so he fought against his desires, remaining honorable and true to the best of his ability.

"Erthalion." He stated calmly as he entered the room wearing the sternest, most intimidating of faces. He approached slowly, head held high with the arrogance that he was well-known for.

This did not have its desired effect on Erthalion though. In the early morning light, he looked more confused than anything else, though there was a bit of fear too. "…wait, are you…" He asked, looking rather uncertain, "…I think there has been a misunderstanding-"

No longer able to keep up his act of patience, Haldir grabbed a chunk of Erthalion's hair and yanked his head up off of the table, causing him to yelp in pain. "Misunderstanding?" Haldir hissed into his ear. "I do not believe you!"

"You are hurting me! Please desist!" He cried out. "There has been a mistake! I do not know what I have done!"

Haldir looked at Erthalion. His eyes were closed in pain as he held him up by his hair. The covered cut across his head had started to bleed, staining the white bandage going across his forehead crimson. Annoyed and no longer calm, Haldir let go of his hair and let his head hit the wooden bedpost on the way down, which made Erthalion groan loudly with pain.

"You do not know what you have done? You have broken the first rule of all Elvendom! You have purposely hurt another elf, you fool! Now, admit your crimes, liar! You do not want to try my patience any longer." Haldir stated sternly, staring at the elf and waiting for answers.

Erthalion, now breathing deep, uneven breaths in pain, looked up in total dread of what was going on around him. He froze for a moment, but then, in a low and shaky voice replied, "Sirs, whatever I am guilty of, please just charge me with it. I have no doubt that I have done something wrong because of the way you are treating me. You must understand though, I do not know what I did! I do not remember…"

Again, Haldir found himself totally incensed at the audacity of this elf to deny his claim. Grabbing the elf by his side, Haldir started to roll him off the bed, only to stop when he felt two small, lithe hands clutch his upper arm. He looked over his shoulder to see a scared Eltirwen, still clad in her nightwear, clutching his arm.

"Haldir, please do not! I…I think that he might be telling the truth."

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Quietly, as the sun rose, a desolate figure ascended the staircase that led up to the guard flets. Step after step, Belegwen silently walked up the marble stairs at a slow pace, holding the railing stiffly, as she could barely stand.

Indeed, she had gotten no sleep last night—no remorse, no comfort. She had cried out all of the pain, but still she had felt a great hurt within herself that was unquenchable by any of her own comforting methods. After she wept, she had marched down to the training field and in her disheveled state, had worked out all of her energy and anger until she was too tired to feel anything.

_"…and now…"_ She thought to herself, as she grabbed a few sweat-slicked strands of hair and pulled them away from her face so that she could see, _"…it is time for me to sleep."_

Finally reaching her door, she pushed in and immediately started to strip down, her wet, smelly tunic being the first thing to go. Finally, she covered her naked body with a clean, white satin robe and was about to head down the stairs again to the bathing pool, when something strange and out of place caught her eye.

Flowers?

Belegwen wearily walked over to her messy bed. On top of the crinkled satin sheets lay two small, blue flowers. Gently, she took the two blossoms in her hand and inspected them curiously. Though one was a bit squished, it was still quite lovely.

Did Haldir do this?

Belegwen could hardly believe it, if so. It was not unlikely for an ellith who was courting an ellon to receive a bouquet of flowers of course, but Haldir was just using her, was he not?

But if they were not from him, then where did they come from?

A small smile graced her lips as she thought it over. If they really were from Haldir, what did it mean? Had he really not wanted her to leave last night? Was there really something there between them?

Suddenly, Belegwen gasped and jumped as someone knocked on her door. "Come in," She called, turning towards the door, smiling, assuming that Haldir was on the other side. However, her smile turned into a look of confusion as a worried-looking Rumil entered into her room cautiously. She stood there stunned for a moment, just staring at him.

"Commander…" He said, starting in immediately after getting over the fact that she was only clothed in her robe, "…an issue has come up that needs your attention."

"What has happened Rumil?" Belegwen asked, forgetting about the flowers that were still cradled in her hand after hearing Rumil's worried voice.

"Erthalion has finally awoken. He…he does not remember attacking you, Commander." He said softly, with a sad look in his eyes.

Belegwen's mouth opened in shock, her jaw quivering a bit as her eyes widened, a multitude of emotions passing over her face as the many implications of the situation crossed her mind. Everything went silent around her as she went into shock.

The flowers fell from her hand onto the ground, utterly forgotten.

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What do you think? I think this fic is starting to look more and more like a soap opera with every passing chapter…lol. Despite that fact, I hope you are enjoying it! Thanks for reading!

-P.G.


	29. Chapter 29: Judgments

Hi guys, welcome back! I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed my previous chapter! Thanks for bearing with me and having such a long wait in between chapters! I've been very busy with school; I just finished my sophomore year of college, so I should have a little more time for updates until I start my camp counselor job. Kudos for everyone who is sticking with the story despite the long waits in between chapters! I hope you enjoy this new addition to my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises.

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 29: Judgments

Two totally smashed flowers were unknowingly kicked out the doorway of Belegwen's flet as she raced out, once again dressed in her sweaty training clothes. Rumil had been waiting for her and now the two of them raced down the stairways and into the morning air. The sun was peeking through a light mist, awakening a glamorous morning, but both of them were too occupied by their running to notice it.

Through the city they weaved, dodging early risers who were walking along the paths of Caras Galadhon as they ran towards the healer's flets. "It is the one to the left of Eltirwen's!" Rumil called to her as their destination came into view.

Belegwen took a running leap, hastily grabbing the middle of the ladder and hoisting herself up with great speed and agility; Rumil quickly followed, doing the same. Once she was upon the veranda, Belegwen ungracefully barged in, opening the door so fast that it slammed against the opposite wall, scaring the two healers who were sitting out in the common area. Both of them jumped and one nearly spilled her cup of tea, but quickly steadied it with her other hand before the contents could fall to the floor.

The elf who was not holding a cup of tea quickly pointed down the hallway to direct Belegwen to the room, her eyes still rather wide with surprise. Belegwen quickly walked over to the door, then stopped before going in, a look of doubt passing over her face. However, she was not given a moment to compose herself, as Rumil smacked carelessly into her back and pushed her into the room.

Belegwen's eyes went wide as everyone stared at her and Rumil as they stumbled into the room. There were a lot more people here than she had expected: Haldir, Heledhril, Eltirwen, Celeborn, and a few other soldiers of high rank stood around the bed, most looking rather irritated. The only elf that did not look Belegwen's way was Galadriel herself, whose head was tilted down at a bedridden Erthalion, one hand upon his forehead. Her eyes were closed with concentration.

A few whispers wafted through the room as Belegwen took a few more steps in, trying her best to hide her fear by keeping a straight face. Immediately, Lord Celeborn approached her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, blocking her view of Erthalion. "May I have a word with you in the hallway?" He whispered, trying not to distract his wife's concentration.

Belegwen nodded and was quickly guided into the hallway. When she turned around to face Celeborn, she was not surprised to find that his face was no longer calm, but worried. They stood there for a moment in silence as Celeborn inspected her neck.

She knew what was coming next.

"I see you have been gravely injured again, my lady." Celeborn started, gently grasping her shoulders as his sad face looked down at her. He paused for a moment before continuing. "It does not have to be this way." He whispered. "Please give it up; I do not want to see you suffer any more."

Silently, Belegwen hung her head down and stared at the wooden floorboards below her. Though Lord Celeborn had a very special place in her heart, Belegwen disliked having this sort of talk with him. Almost every time that she was gravely injured though, she knew this chat would not be far behind.

A chat about her quitting the guard.

No, Lord Celeborn was not a sexist in any way; he simply cared about her too much and did not want her to get hurt. Though few people remembered, it was the Lord Celeborn who took care of little Belegwen after her family had been massacred. In fact, Belegwen knew that she had filled a certain void in his heart that had been created when his real daughter Celebrian had left Middle Earth.

In fact, it was Celeborn who had initially trained her for the guard. All along, Celeborn had not wanted her to join, but had finally given into her pleas, thinking that she would not last through his training if he was hard on her.

How wrong he was. Celeborn's plan backfired greatly. The harder he had pushed her in the training, the harder she had worked, being utterly determined to prove herself as good a fighter as any of the ellons. Because of this, she quickly passed the guard tests and became a warden, much to Celeborn's dismay. He thought that she should be a lady and had offered to find people to teach her arts, like sewing, cooking, gardening, and music, but she had refused. Those things did not interest her—defending Caras Galadhon was in her blood and after she became a warden, there was no turning back.

"Lord Celeborn, you know I cannot grant you that. I am Haldir's second now and I have worked very hard for it. I will be fine. You do not need to worry for me." She said softly, looking at him with disappointed eyes. Would he ever stop asking her to quit?

"Oh, but I cannot stop myself from worrying… I helped raise you, Belegwen. You never stray too far from my thoughts." He whispered, looking a bit ashamed for admitting such a weakness. "You spend so much time working in the guard…and things keep happening." He said, reaching out to touch her neck, only to have her pull away from his touch. This saddened his face even more, "Accidents keep happening Belegwen. Soon you will go into battle…" He murmured, pausing for a second, "…but will you come back?"

She did not know.

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Haldir watched the bed closely as a completely concentrated Galadriel finally opened her eyes, slowly raising her head as she took her delicate hand off of Erthalion's forehead. She had a slightly upset look in her eyes as her gaze met Haldir's. Slowly, she shook her head and then looked back down at Erthalion, who had also opened his eyes and was staring at her, awaiting his verdict.

"Haldir, he is telling the truth." She whispered, sending a chill up Haldir's spine as the implications of these remarks were quickly worked out in his brain. "I cannot find any memory of the events that took place. I cannot find the malice that he surely harbored in his heart over such a matter. It is gone, or at least, far beyond my reach."

It was silent for a few moments before Haldir spoke up, asking quitely, "But you cannot guarantee that it is completely gone?"

"No, I cannot." She replied softly, still looking at Erthalion, delving deep into his eyes with her stare as she tried again to pick up any little sign or hint that something was amiss. Haldir's eyes narrowed into slits. He could not believe that this was happening! He was infuriated with what Erthalion had done and now the perpetrator could not even remember his crime! Frustrated, Haldir turned and faced the wall for a moment, one hand covering his eyes as he tried to calm down. However, he turned right back around when he sensed the others reentering the room.

Haldir frowned even more when he saw them. They both looked a little more rattled than before. Lord Celeborn seemed to have a slight uneasiness to his stature that normally was not there. Belegwen looked terrible, to be quite honest. She had appeared horrid when she had entered at first, with her sweaty hair and the slightly present dark rings that ran underneath her eyes, exposing her lack of sleep to the world. She had looked weary before, but she looked it even more so now, her face drooping as she looked around the room and took in the scene that was before them.

She looked so downtrodden and defeated at the moment. Though it would not be noticeable to the average person, Haldir could see small flashes of fear come and go over her face as she looked Erthalion. There was a clear uneasiness in her demeanor too, as she was shifting her weight from foot to foot, as though she did not have the power to stand still at the moment. Inwardly, Haldir felt himself crumble—how dare he place such insecurity in her warrior heart! He hurt for her and her situation, though one never would have guessed it from his tall and powerful stance.

He watched as Galadriel slowly approached Belegwen and took both of hands in her own as she broke the news to her. "Belegwen, I have searched his memories and I cannot find any trace of the anger and hatred that he had originally harbored towards you. One cannot tell what the future may hold, but for now, the memories are gone." She said, squeezing Belegwen's hands in an attempt to reassure her, though Belegwen's eyes had gone wide and her face had paled.

"I know this will be hard for you, Belegwen, but the chore of distributing his punishment has fallen upon you, as you are the victim of the atrocity. I know you will choose fairly and wisely. Take your time; we shall wait for your answer here with you and be the witnesses. You may go into another room and think if you wish." Galadriel said to an overwhelmed Belegwen, indicating the door with her outstretched hand, "Go now and choose wisely."

"But I am not skilled at such things, my lady!" She protested, her face curving into a look of shock as she tried to talk Galadriel out of this. "I do not know what to make him do! I…" She said, trailing off as she saw the look that Galadriel gave her.

There was no way out of this for her.

Utterly defeated, Haldir watched as she left the room to go and think.

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Avoiding all of the questioning glances she was receiving from the healers in the front room, who were peering down the hallway, trying to eavesdrop on the conversations that were taking place, Belegwen walked all the way to the end of the hallway and entered a patient room that was thankfully empty. Completely confused and lost, Belegwen laid down on the plain bed that situated in the middle of the room and stared at the ceiling for a long time, her mind going blank as she forced herself to calm down. After having counted the ceiling boards 10 times, she rolled over and stared at the sheer white curtain that was blowing inside the room from the balcony, blocking her view of the morning.

_"He does not remember…"_ She thought to herself over and over again. Could she really bestow punishment upon a being who did not remember his crime? Part of her wanted revenge of the foulest nature, but the other half begged for her to just let it go. Guilt filled Belegwen's heart as she thought about him serving her punishments, but not ever really knowing why he had strangled her in the first place. _"I do not know if I could live with the guilt…"_

She frowned, and rolled back onto her back, her arms flopping over her head as she stared up at the ceiling again. _"Why is it me that has to give the verdict? Why cannot Haldir, who is more experienced with such things, decide on his punishment?" _She thought, pausing for a second. _"What would Haldir sentence him to if it were his task?"_

Belegwen had no idea. The elves of Caras Galadhon rarely ever did any wrong and those who did only did small things that often earned them community service hours, which were more of an annoyance than a punishment. The only thing that she could think of that was appropriate for the crime that he had committed was banishment. Would it be banishment from Caras Galadhon though, or from all of the territories of the elves?

Belegwen did not know. Though she did not want to bequeath a punishment that was too harsh, he had tried to murder her. If she sent him to another place, like Imladris, would he commit another foul crime on another elf? And what if not all of the other elves found out who he was and what he was capable of? She could not tell them or they would surely not accept him into their area. However, she would not wish for any other unsuspecting female to relive her fate. What if another ellith was not as lucky as she was?

What if another ellith was not strong enough to fight back?

Belegwen shivered at the thought. _"I cannot send him to the other realms. I do not wish for any other elliths to get hurt… If he is capable of violence once, he will be capable of doing it again. No one else will be suffering my fate. No one."_

Unfortunately, the connotation of what she just said meant that she could not banish Erthalion at all. If she sent him away, he could go live in the world of men and women or elsewhere. Women and other creatures could be vulnerable to his violence too. He was an immortal…how many women could he abuse during his eternity on Arda?

_"No. I cannot banish him. He will stay here where Haldir and I can keep a close eye on him. If he becomes violent again, at least I know that I will stand a chance against him and Haldir…Haldir could take him down if such a thing were to happen again. I will not push him away to others when he is our responsibility. We will deal with him here." _She thought to herself, nodding a bit as she sat up and stared at her feet intensely.

_"In fact, his punishment shall be that he can never leave Caras Galadhon unless he is called to war or accompanied by Haldir or some other wardens who would be able to keep a constant watch over him. I will also have him swear an oath to the Valar that he shall not act in violence against a fellow elf again, giving them permission to deal with him as they wish if he is to break such a rule."_

Belegwen stood now, satisfied with her answer. Erthalion would not loose all of his freedom, which was okay, as he did not remember his malice. If he did eventually remember, however, he would be detained and under the Valar's authority. Nodding to herself as she furrowed her eyebrows, she walked down the hallway and entered the room again, this time looking powerful and full of authority.

She walked right up to him and his eyes widened with fear when he saw the look on her face. "Erthalion, I sentence you to stay here in Caras Galadhon unless you are escorted by wardens who have the power to detain you at any moment if you act violently. You must also take an oath to the Valar, once you are healed, stating that you will never act out violence against a fellow elf again, putting your fate into the hands of the Valar in the case that you break this rule." She stated firmly, looking around the room at everyone else's faces. "You are all the witnesses of this ruling. So it is said, so it is done." She finished, nodding to Galadriel and Celeborn out of respect.

"No." Haldir said, as everyone whipped their heads around to face him. "That is not justice!" He looked both shocked and infuriated at what she had just said. He looked around at the others to support him, but everyone was too shocked to say anything. Finally, he looked to Galadriel, who was walking towards him.

"Haldir, justice has been served here. It is done." Galadriel said, looking into his eyes almost pleadingly. However, Haldir ignored this and stormed over to where Belegwen was standing, but she blatantly turned and walked out of the room before he could reach her, a storm of emotions rolling over her as she heard his thunderous footsteps following her through the corridor.

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"Belegwen…Belegwen!" Haldir called after her as she jumped down from the flet and walked away from him as fast as she possibly could. Haldir would not take such behavior though; his anger at the entire situation boiled his blood. He jumped down and quick as lightning, grabbed her arm and started to pull her into the woods, away from the path so that they could talk privately. Though Belegwen said nothing, she tried to yank her arm away from him as best she could until he finally stopped and let go of her. She fell to the forest floor, but quickly got up, her anger at him very evident in her eyes and facial expression.

He ignored this. "How could you?!?" He hissed, turning around to start pacing as he did when he was irritated or vexed, "He hurt you! He might do it again! You should have banished him and you did not!!!"

Pulling a small twig from her hair and throwing it to the ground violently, she replied, "Because Haldir, if he attacked me, he could hurt other people too! I will not have it! At least I have a chance of defending myself! Others would not be so lucky! He is detained here; that is why I chose what I did!" She cried out, clearly irritated that he was not happy with her choosing.

"You are the only one he wants to hurt! Heledhril has told me that he was upset about not getting promoted to second in command! If he remembers, he will try and kill you again! You have put yourself in danger!" Haldir boomed, grabbing the tops of her arms tightly and giving her a small shake for emphasis. "You are going to get yourself killed!!!"

A hand smacked across his face, shocking Haldir as she deftly yanked herself away from his grasp. "Don't touch me!" She yelled, the quickly lowered her voice without loosing the intensity that was in her eyes. "I am a warden Haldir! You told me last night that you thought I was strong, yet now you contradict yourself by implying that I cannot defend myself! What is wrong with you?!? You lied to me last night!"

"It would be dangerous to any warden! I would not want anyone to put themselves in unnecessary danger as you have!" He spat, getting louder with every word he said. "I do not want you to get hurt!"

"I am a warden Haldir! I must put others before myself!" She shrieked back at him, pushing him away with one arm. "I thought you of all people would recognize the importance of this action!"

"You are wrong!" He roared, turning as if to start to pace again, but then coming back to add more. "There are warriors in all of the other realms! With a simple warning, they could have protected their inhabitants if necessary, but I do not think it would be! He was only after you; he only had a reason to attack you-"

"And what do you think that he would do with the next elf or person who stood in his way? Offer to talk it out?!? You are crazy Haldir! His actions will not change! He has the potential to be violent again! Heledhril knows the warning signs! We can watch over him here and intervene if he starts to behave badly-"

"Yes, once you have been murdered in cold blood we will all realize what a terrible mistake has been made here today and we will intervene, though it will do a lot of good at that time!" He said, sarcasm flowing from his lips easily as he glared at her. "Why can you not see that you are in danger?"

"Why can you not see that I am a mature warrior who is capable of handling the situation?!?" She said, getting a bit louder than Haldir. "I hit him extremely hard anyway! I do not think he will be remembering anything about the whole ordeal anytime soon!"

"Yes, and so now he has the element of surprise on his side! If he slits your throat before anyone catches on that he remembers, we will not be able to save you!" He said, coming dangerously close to her again and reaching out to take her shoulders as he spoke. "You need to change your bidding Belegwen," he said, becoming a bit calmer than before when she did not resist his grasp on her shoulders, "There is still time to make everything right." He said, chancing a small stroke of her face with his hand.

"Get out of my face." She whispered dangerously. "My decision is final."

With that said, she walked away from Haldir. Frustrated, Haldir grabbed a fist-sized rock from the ground and threw it as hard as he could at a mallorn tree in the opposite direction of Belegwen, then jerked himself back to watch her fade into the distance.

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Belegwen stared at the stairs she was ascending slowly as she attempted to rub her knotted hair dry with her towel. Having just returned from her evening bath, Belegwen was utterly weary and tainted with sadness, as she could not get the fight with Haldir out of her mind. In her heart, she felt a terrible pain eating away at her. Belegwen did not like having him mad at her. It hurt her that he did not think her judgment was adequate though. He had not believed her when she told him about the male voice that had been in her head during her skirmish with Erthalion either… Would he ever believe what she told him? Would he ever trust her opinion?

She sighed, blinking away tears once again as she continued to go up the stairs. Her emotions were all so mixed up right now that she had no idea what to think anymore. The only thing she did know was that she was going to be terribly lonely tonight, in bed all alone because of her disagreement with Haldir.

"Belegwen?" She heard a soft voice question. She hesitated before looking up to see a rather concerned Rumil in front of her, inspecting her face and demeanor with great scrutiny. He was clad in only his white robe, just like her, though he was headed down to the bathing pool and she was headed back up from it. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked gently, looking into her eyes.

Belegwen looked down again quickly, her lip quivering. She knew that if she answered him, she would start to cry and she refused to do that. He must have sensed this though, as she felt his arms envelop her into a small hug. "You go through a hard time right now, meldir." He whispered as he let her go and stood back to try and look at her face. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Hesitating only for a moment, Belegwen gave a quick nod of her head, though she never looked up from the floor. She felt Rumil's hand gently touch the small of her back as he started to lead her up the stairs. "Come along—I shall try my best to help you put everything in perspective." He said softly as he opened the door to his own room and led her in.

"Take a seat, Commander." He said, his hand gesturing over to the bed, which was the only thing he had to sit on in the room. Belegwen hesitated for a second, thinking that she was invading his personal space, but before she could protest, he had pulled her over there and they both sat down together, side by side. Gently, he took both of her hands in his and held them together, giving them a small squeeze for reassurance.

Finally, she looked up and met his eyes. "You need not call me Commander when we are not working Rumil. If we are going to be friends, you should call me Belegwen." She said softly, then bowed her head down again, trying her best to hide the terrible pain that was in her heart right now.

"Very well Belegwen, that I shall do. Now tell me, what has my brother said that has upset you?" He asked.

Belegwen gasped upon hearing Haldir's name and looked up in surprise, causing Rumil to have a small chuckle from the shocked expression that adorned her face. "Why are you so surprised, dear Belegwen? Everyone could hear you both screaming at each other in the woods, though none dared to get close enough to hear what was actually being said. I have been worried about you all day, for I know my brother can be very stubborn sometimes. Tell me what he has said." Rumil said, smiling a bit. "Do not worry; you can say whatever you want about him. I will not tell. I promise."

So encouraging were his words that Belegwen found it impossible not to open up to her new friend. "Haldir does not think I have given the right punishment to Erthalion. He thinks I should have banished him, as he is worried that I have put myself in unnecessary danger. He said that Erthalion could surprise me once his memory came back and attack me. He would not hear one word of what I had to say about the reasoning behind my choice. It is as though he cannot accept that his way may not always be the only way to do something."

"Ah, yes. Haldir is very pig-headed, always has been. Sometimes he just needs a little time to stop and think everything over. I am certain he will see the value in your choice. I was talking with the other wardens earlier and we could not figure out why Haldir did not like your plan. They thought it was quite admirable, how you have put the safety of others before the safety of yourself. You are reflecting the qualities that every good warden strives to have meldir. Give Haldir time to mull over it; he will come around with time." Rumil said, the started to look a bit more sad. "But you…is this choice okay with you? Are you going to be able to tolerate seeing he who has abused you around the training area and working alongside of you?"

Her shoulder started to shake as she looked at the ground again. "I do not understand why the Valar have made this happen Rumil." She said, starting to break down more and more with every word, but somehow managing to keep her tears at bay, though her voice had an undeniable raised quality and shakiness to it that is often common in elliths and women who are crying. "I wanted him to come to justice, but he does not remember his crime! If he remembered, I could have easily given him what he rightly deserved, but not when he does not! I could not live with the guilt of having given him a grave punishment when he does not even remember committing the crime. I just could not…" She said, trailing off as she sniffled a bit.

Suddenly, she felt Rumil's arms around her once more, comforting and stroking her hair as she remembered her mother doing, so very long ago. As he gently rocked her, her breathing slowly calmed and she felt the water in her eyes recede. Finally, she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you Rumil. You are a good listener. I am proud to call you my meldir; thank you." She said softly, managing to give him a small smile in return for all of his efforts.

"There is that smile I love," he said, smiling back at her as he lifted her head up by putting a couple of his fingers under her chin. "Think nothing of it-"

"Rumil, I have brought back your long knives from…"

Both Belegwen and Rumil turned to see a suddenly very shocked Haldir, who had apparently just entered Rumil's room without knocking. All three stared at each other, totally flabbergasted. Belegwen watched as Haldir's jaw quivered a bit and the two sheathed long knives in his hands fell to the ground, creating two loud crashes.

Jumping at the sound, Belegwen was suddenly aware of everything. They were in Rumil's room, on Rumil's bed, clad in mere robes, sitting very close to one another with Rumil's hand underneath her chin, as if he was going to…

"No…" She whispered, as Haldir finally pulled himself together, turned, and fled down the stairway. "NO!" She yelled, quickly standing up as she realized what Haldir must have been thinking.

Quickly, she ran out into the hallway and called out to him. "Haldir! It is not what you think! HALDIR!!!"

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Woo! Nothing like a good cliffie! As you reach for rotten tomatoes to throw at my cliffie-loving self, please consider hitting that good ol' review button down there and telling me what you think! I hope you enjoyed it! Have a good one!

-P.G.


	30. Chapter 30: Voices

Hi guys! Welcome back to my fic, _To Be Forever Faithful_! I'm very excited to be posting today, as it is my 5 year anniversary on Woohoo! I apologize if this chapter seems a bit rushed, but I really wanted to make a post today to celebrate 5 lovely years of fandom. I hope you enjoy my latest installment!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises. _

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 30: Voices 

"HALDIR!!!" Belegwen screamed down the dimly lit hallways, the blue-tinted light shining on her damp, uncombed hair as she ran madly down the stairs, ignoring curious onlookers who quickly stepped out of her way as she blew past them. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, however, it was too late; he was nowhere to be seen, the moonlit paths before her devoid of elves.

Still standing in the doorway, Belegwen gripped the right hand side of the entrance with both of her hands as she slowly sank to her knees, her head bowing down and damp knots of silver tresses filling her vision and hiding all of the despair and pain that she held within herself. Quietly, Belegwen put a delicate hand over her mouth as she made a choking noise, holding in her sobs as best as she could and muffling that which she could not.

Soon she noticed the presence of another and quickly wipped away a few lone tears that had fallen, though she did not look up, not even when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Belegwen…" She heard Rumil say softly, questioningly, "What just happened? I do not understand…"

Upon hearing this, an alarm went off in Belegwen's head and her eyes widened dangerously as her mind searched quickly for an acceptable explanation for the incident. Rumil could not find out that she was breaking the rules with his brother, whom he surely looked up to at some degree. "Well…Rumil…just the other night, Haldir complimented me on how I was able to become close with many of the wardens here without forming any…well, any romantic relationships. He caught us in a very interesting position Rumil…I think he assumed the worst." She said slowly, risking a small look up at Rumil who was kneeling over her.

He looked shocked—sporting the same face that Haldir had when he walked in on them a few minutes ago. "Y-you think Haldir believes us t-to be in a romantic relationship?" Rumil stuttered, "But that is against the rules!"

"I know! Rumil, what if our jobs are risk?" Belegwen said, playing along with what Rumil had said to try and get any assumptions of her relationship with Haldir out of Rumil's head. She gave him the best fearful face she could pull off, though she really was afraid, just not for what Rumil thought. Her heart was hammering in her chest at an unnaturally quick pace as she thought of Haldir never talking to her again. What if he would not listen to her reasoning? What if he did not believe her when she told him the truth?

"No! Do not panic Belegwen!" Rumil stated, probably more to himself than to her, despite the fact that he was holding her face in his hands. Quickly, he stood up, her following his lead. "This is all just a big misunderstanding…" He said, starting to pace in the way that Haldir often did, "Once Haldir calms down, he will surely listen to reason. I will seek him out tomorrow morning and clear this mess up. Do not worry meldir, I am certain that everything will be just fine." He said, looking at her, though she was looking off into the distance, her mind far from where Rumil was.

"Come on," He said, giving her a small shake, which made her gasp as she came back to reality, "You need to get some sleep and stop worrying. I will get everything sorted out; I promise." Then, with a concerned smile on his face, he led her back up to her room and bid her goodnight.

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Passing through dark shadows and spots of dim moonlight, Haldir ran at a pace seemed almost impossible for his body. With the agility of a wildcat, Haldir dodged through the upwards sprouting mallorn trees, clearing hedges with leaps that were almost graceful, but more powerful than anything else. Branches raked at his skin and clung to his fair golden tresses, but he ignored all of this and continued on, ever onward. He only stopped when he tripped over a log and landed flat on his face, being so out-of-sorts that he had not seen it coming.

Rolling over, Haldir's face revealed a visage of pain and anger—the fruits of the jealously that had now dug a hole and planted itself in his heart. Clenching his eyes shut, Haldir thought back to how the night had started out so innocently: he taught a class and filled out some paperwork for Lord Celeborn at the library. However, upon arriving back to his room, he had spotted the two flowers he had left for Belegwen smashed on the stairs in the hallway.

Gently, he had went and picked up the crushed blossoms from the floor and had delicately traced over their injured areas with one of his fingers, sadness creeping into his hard eyes.

Had she been this mad at him? Surely she had found out that the flowers were from him; who else would have given them to her? Had she done it on purpose or had it been mere coincidence—a mistake?

He had planned on going to her tonight to try and listen to her side of the story more carefully, as he knew he had not given her side of the decision enough thought earlier. He could understand where she was coming from and would deal with what she had brought upon herself.

He would apologize…

Haldir knew that he had gone too far earlier with his anger. All in all, he was not really mad with Belegwen's decision, but instead with the fact that the crime was really going unpunished because Erthalion could not remember. There was really no right way to get justice in this peculiar situation unless he remembered it. At first, Haldir had simply thought he was faking it, but the Lady of Light had even looked into his mind and saw that it was blank. Surely, everything would be okay…

Hopefully.

Even with all of this knowledge, Haldir still planned on keeping a very close watch over Erthalion. He had been telling the truth when he told Belegwen that she was not safe. If Erthalion did eventually remember and failed to alert anyone to this fact, she could be in grave danger. While he knew her heart was in the right place for making the decision that she did, she was still very inexperienced when it came to dealing with criminal minds, something that Haldir had been doing for centuries. He would keep a close eye on Erthalion and be alert to any changes that he might show over time…

These issues and many more had crossed Haldir's mind while he practiced during the night and he had resolved to talk with Belegwen as soon as he got back to the mallorn that housed the warden's rooms. On his way back from the practice field though, Haldir stopped at the smith's shop to pick up a dagger that he had needed sharpened, only to be loaded with two of Rumil's long knives, which he had clearly forgotten to pick up, as they had been ready at the smith's shop for about two months. A bit sullenly, Haldir had taken the extra burdens and had brought them straight to Rumil's room, which should have been a quick, usual stop for him…

But it was not.

Upon seeing Belegwen, the only ellith he had ever felt any emotion this strongly for, in his brother's bed, looking Rumil in the eyes as she was, both scantily clad in their robes, Haldir's resolve had immediately broken. The dam shot forth, letting waves of insecurity and distrust flow from its once secure perimeters. Every foul assumption that could have ever been made about such a situation had went through Haldir's head in a mere second of time and left him silently stunned, blinking as if it were a mere scene of apparitions before him and not his brother and his lover caught together in an interesting situation.

Now, looking back on, Haldir felt like a fool for running away like that when he clearly should have taken some sort of action. A deep vat of jealously was simmering within him, just waiting to boil over and scald all who were in the way. Jealously, but also an indescribable pain that was eating away at his hear, almost making it hard to breathe as he laid in the dirt, staring into the canopy of mallorn leaves above.

"I should have known…" He murmured to himself as he looked into the heavens, grasping handfuls of dirt in his clenched fists as he grimaced into the sky. "I should have known putting too much trust in one person would end like this… I should have known that it could never work out. I should have known…" He whispered, then closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to remove the image of his brother and Belegwen from his tortured mind.

There was no one he could turn to…and so when a messenger came to him in the morning and gave him a request to return to the fences from Lord Celeborn, Haldir packed a few things and left before dawn, only stopping to slip a note under Rumil's door, telling him to take over his classes until he got back.

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"Exactly where is Haldir?" Belegwen hissed to Rumil as they walked speed-walked down one of the paths towards the platform where announcements were made. It was time for Erthalion to take his oath, with a crowd of wardens as witnesses, but Belegwen had not seen Haldir anywhere. If he could not be found, it would mean that she would have to give him the oath, which she sincerely did not want to do. In fact, if she could help it, she did not want to be anywhere near him.

Belegwen was scared of him…though she would never allow Erthalion to know that.

Even though she knew that she could muster up the strength to give the oath herself, she really did not want to do it. However, when Rumil gave her a sympathetic look instead of answering, Belegwen's eyes grew large as she guessed what had happened. "Rumil, oh no, you are not serious!" She said, scowling in disbelief as he frowned back at her, "He is not here?!? Did you get a chance to talk with him before he left?!?"

"No, he left before I woke up! The only reason I even know he left was that he left me a note saying that I am to take over his classes!" Rumil said, failing to conceal the worried expression that on his face as they both descended a small flight of stairs gracefully.

Belegwen must have looked quite worried at this because when the two finished taking the steps, Rumil caught hold of her upper arm and stopped her from her quick flight towards the platform. She turned to look at him, questioning his motives silently. He looked down at her soothingly. "Relax Belegwen. Everything is going to work out. When Haldir gets back, this will be worked out. I will not allow him to think ill of you when you have done nothing wrong." Rumil said quite seriously, looking into her eyes as he made this proclamation.

Belegwen stared back at him for a few seconds after he said it, looking into his eyes for sincerity. Finding it, she looked down at her feet and nodded a few times before pulling away from him and walking out of the sun and into the shade of the mallorn that the platform was situated on.

Slowly, Belegwen ascended the stairs to meet a very serious looking Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, along with two guards who flanked the rather ashamed looking Erthalion, who did not meet her eyes as she approached the group. Instead, she looked at Galadriel, who was smiling at her, as she obviously knew how nervous she was about doing this. Quietly, Galadriel stepped forward and placed a dainty hand upon Belegwen's shoulder.

"Is this your first public announcement?" Galadriel asked Belegwen in a soft voice that did not carry beyond the confines of the stage.

"Yes," Belegwen whispered, maintaining her leader stature as to not give any indication of her nervousness to the crowd. Belegwen did not know if Galadriel knew her real reason for being nervous or not, but would gladly accept her counsel either way.

"And has Haldir shown you how to take an oath?" She whispered, this time looking beyond Belegwen and staring at Erthalion, her eyes narrowing a bit.

"Uh, no, he has not…" Belegwen said, crossing her arms as a cold shiver ran down her spine when she looked at Erthalion. "But I have witnessed two oath ceremonies myself and I am fairly certain of how they are conducted." She replied slowly, looking around a bit.

Something was not right. Belegwen could not quite pinpoint what was going on, but it was almost as if the air around her was thicker and the shadows that were cast from the leaves above seemed rather foreboding. There was this unexplainable tension that had manifested itself in the crowd and on the occupants of the stage, all who now seemed rather restless, but none really knew why. Belegwen gave a questioning look to Galadriel, but she seemed just as disturbed by this as everyone else as she scanned the crowd of wardens with eagle eyes.

Convincing herself that it was just her own needless fear, Belegwen closed her eyes for a second to get herself focused, then approached Erthalion with a fake confidence that few could see through. However, when she was finally standing beside him, clouds started to gather over the sun in a rather abrupt fashion and a harsh wind started to pick up.

"What is going on…" Belegwen murmured to herself, her eyes looking up at the sky that had been perfectly sunny and cloudless only a few mere seconds ago, but was now dark and cloudy, almost as if it was about to rain. Even Erthalion had noticed the changes around him and was looking around, a bit confused as to what was going on.

Finally, Belegwen realized that despite the fact that the crowd was just as curious about their changing environment as she, wasting everyone's time would not help the matter. "Good morning wardens! We are gathered here today to witness this elf place an oath before the Valar. With the Lord and Lady of the Wood as witnesses, I-"

Suddenly, everything went completely silent around her and Belegwen stopped talking, in awe of the total silence. Not even a bird or small breeze sounded to her ears. Blinking, Belegwen opened her eyes to see herself beside Erthalion on the platform, standing as stunned and silent as she currently was. It was as though she was looking through the eyes of another being, someone who was in the crowd.

_"-is not serving justice-,"_ a male voice demanded in her mind, somehow penetrating the deep and unsettling silence that was around Belegwen. In fact, it was the same male voice she had heard during her fight with Erthalion…

Shock hit Belegwen in the face, but when she blinked again, she seemed to suddenly be back in her own body, the sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds filling her ears once more. She could again hear the sound of her breathing, though it was heavy with panic from the odd occurrence. Looking around, Belegwen saw a couple of wardens looking at her as though she had sprouted another head….

What had just happened?!?

"I…I…" Belegwen stuttered a bit, trying to pick up where she had left off from her speech. She was very uncomfortable at this point and was no longer certain that her nervousness was being hidden. A waving hand from the back of the crowd caught her eye—Rumil. He was nodding his head in a very reassuring manner, smiling at her confidently.

Something about his mannerism was very comforting and allowed Belegwen to pull herself together. "With the Lord and Lady of the Wood as witnesses, I shall recite the oath that is to be offered. The oath taker, Erthalion the warden, shall repeat after me and therefore bind himself into this contract with the Valar. The time has come Erthalion. Raise your hand and look up to those who shall hear you."

Stepping forward towards Erthalion, she motioned for him to raise his left arm up to the heavens. As if he was lifting a great burden over his head, the heavily-bandaged Erthalion did as he was told, tilting his face upwards as well to face the grey clouds that had gathered overhead. As the Lord and Lady of Lorien reached out to touch his extended arm, all of the curious whispers from the crowd ceased and a natural silence encompassed the entire group.

Reaching out, Belegwen hesitantly went to grasp Erthalion's arm like her elders, but flinched as the male voice popped into her head again. _"Do not touch him!" _the voice commanded, getting progressively louder, _"He will remember you! DO NOT TOUCH HIM!!!"_ The masculine voice hissed insanely, causing Belegwen to crinkle her eyes shut and place a hand up to her forehead to comfort the throbbing pain that had started in.

"Are you okay? Belegwen?" Celeborn asked, a concerned look on his face.

"Yes, yes, I am just a bit more nervous that I thought." Belegwen whispered, though judging by the look Celeborn gave her, she was quite unconvincing with her lie.

Suddenly, the dull pounding in her head faded a bit, as well as some of the tension in the air, though it did not completely dissipate. Finally able to focus on the task at hand, Belegwen once again reached out her arm to grab Erthalion's, expecting to have another out-of-body experience.

It did not happen. Belegwen stared at Erthalion's face as she hesitantly took ahold of his arm, but he gave absolutely no indication of having remembered anything. He continued to gaze up into the cloudy sky. Belegwen shuddered as a certain realization hit her head on.

Haldir was right.

There was no way that Belegwen would be able to tell if she was sparking memories in Erthalion's head or not. Because of this, she might be in danger. She was so very close to him right now…even though Erthalion was flanked with two guards, he could still undeniably reach for her faster than they would be able to restrain him.

He could strangle her again… Haldir was not here to help her fight him off. What would she do if he was to attack right now? Could she hold him off a second time? Somehow, she doubted it… Plus, she did not think that Erthalion would make her suffer if he tried a second time; he would probably just break her neck as quickly as possible, making sure that he finished the job.

However, he did not seem to remember. All was calm around her. Belegwen decided that she would have to ignore all of her inner raging, self-doubts, and morbid thoughts to make this oath happen. She was wasting everyone's time…oh dear, what must they think of her? She was such a poor commanding officer-

"Repeat after me," Belegwen commanded, interrupting her own self-degrading thoughts with those that would get the job done. "I, Erthalion the warden, stand before the Valar today as an elf who needs to change."

"I, Erthalion the warden, stand before the Valar today as an elf who needs to change." He repeated much more softly than her, in a slightly high voice that indicated he was becoming a bit nervous about the whole bit too. This was not surprising though, as an oath taken before the Valar could not be taken back and was to be taken seriously, as the consequences of not doing so were quite severe.

"I vow, with you and these elves as witnesses…" She called out.

"I vow, with you and these elves as witnesses…" He repeated, starting to shake a bit with nervousness.

"…that I will never commit an act of violence against another elf…" Belegwen recited, staring at him intensely as he shook underneath the eyes of the almighty Valar.

"…that I will never…commit an act of violence against…against another elf…" He stuttered out as his knees suddenly buckled. However, the two guards managed to catch him before he fell or one of the primary witnesses let go. The both proceeded to grip him around the waist tightly and held him up so that he could finish his oath.

"and if I ever break this oath, I will suffer the chosen consequences of the Valar." Belegwen finished.

"and if I ever break this oath, I will suffer…the chosen consequences of the Valar." He finished in a small voice, then gasped as a shock passed through his body and into the three who held up his left arm.

The Valar had heard the oath. "It is done." Belegwen called out, releasing Erthalion's shaky hand. When the two guards let him go, he fell to the ground, panting and sobbing as he shook uncontrollably on his hands and knees.

Leaving the guards to deal with Erthalion without even glancing back at the decrepit elf, Belegwen felt herself quickly descending back down to the forest floor, her arms wrapping around her body. Faintly, she heard Lord Celeborn calling after her, but she ignored it as the chills swept over her body again.

What had happened up there? Belegwen was confused and scared. The voice had seemed more powerful this time…more angry and fierce. Was she going crazy? Though all of the elves had sensed the unusual tension in the air, only she had spent seconds in another's body. For the first time in a long time, Belegwen found herself quite afraid of the supernatural…and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Belegwen!" She heard, as someone turned her around. Rumil. "Belegwen, what happened up there? Are you well?" Rumil asked, speaking quickly and in a very concerned voice.

"I heard the…the voice again, Rumil." She whispered, each word getting more and more silent. Upon actually admitting to this fear, the air around her became even more chilled and she soon realized that her eyes had filled with tears. Unable to control herself and not wanting Rumil to see her cry, she quickly took off running down the closest deserted path. Though Rumil called after her, she ignored him and ran into the forest as fast as she could.

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So, there we have it! Please review and let me know what you think. Have a good one!

-P.G.


	31. Chapter 31: Attempted Redemption

Welcome back to my fic, To Be Forever Faithful!!! Yay, I'm back!!! Enjoy my fic!!!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 31: Attempted Redemption

Silently, Rumil trudged through the dark woods towards the Northern border, slowing down from his previous run as he came close to his destination. The moon shined down through the silvery mallorn trees and lit his path as he stepped over logs and around large patches of tangled brush, sneaking up towards where the wardens would be keeping watch at this time of night. Tonight, he was on a mission of high stakes.

A mission, he now realized, that should have been completed four fortnights ago.

Since the beginning of the entire misunderstanding, Rumil had known that Belegwen had been hurting. Once Haldir had left for the border, the two of them had spent a large amount of time together, mostly Rumil trying to get Belegwen to stop worrying about the situation at hand. From what Rumil had gathered, she and Haldir had become not only leadership partners, but also close friends over the past few months and she was very worried about loosing both his friendship and her job because of what Haldir had assumed about the entire thing.

All along, he had known that this situation was putting a lot of extra stress and pain on Belegwen and had tried to be there for her as best he could, reassuring her that the moment Haldir came back, they would talk and get the issue sorted out. However, there was one problem with this…

Haldir never came back.

Up to date, he had served four regular guard sessions back to back and had not sent back any indication of leaving the borders anytime soon through his communication with the Lady Galadriel. Both the Lord and Lady were worried about his well-being, as it was not healthy for any of the elves to serve that much time guarding the city without any sort of break to recuperate from the strenuous work. Had the times been peaceful, perhaps it would have been dismissed, but with a growing amount of skirmishes at the border as the times grew darker, it was becoming necessary for the guards to come home and rest for a while.

On the other side of the situation, Rumil had patiently been waiting for Haldir to return. He spent his days teaching the class on long knives and working on his own advanced sword methods. His nights were often spent on his terrace with Belegwen, the two of them trying to reassure one another that Haldir would be okay and that the situation was going to work out once he returned. The two of them had become trustworthy friends and this is the only reason that Rumil started to notice the change that was taking place in his respected female commander.

This last week, she had gotten considerably quieter...quieter than was normal for her. However, the moment he had noticed something needed to happen had only occurred earlier that night. The two of them had been out on Rumil's terrace, looking at the stars, as they had gotten into the habit of doing every night. It was just the two of them, both lying down with their heads supported by the other's shoulder—a very nonsexual, but intimate way of being together. Because the terrace was small, both of their feet dangled off its opposite ends, but neither of them minded.

On a normal night, Belegwen was usually quite aloof and alarmed about the whole situation and Rumil would have to calm her down. However, earlier tonight she had been completely silent. They had laid there in an awkward silence for a long time, staring up at the stars, until Rumil had finally broken down and asked her if anything was wrong. All she could bring herself to do was whisper yes. Immediately, Rumil had sat up and looked at her, only to be shocked at what he was seeing.

Her natural beauty was utterly marred by large, black circles under her eyes, signifying the obvious lack of sleep that she had been experiencing. The natural shine that her hair normally had was gone, leaving it at a color that was almost more grey than silvery blonde. On top of all of this she looked pale, even for an elf.

"Oh dear Elbereth…" Rumil murmured as he stared down at her, his eyebrows cinched up in a look of horror. "Have you been sleeping recently?" He questioned her softly.

She shook her head, closing her eyes to avoid making eye contact with him. "I cannot sleep, for my worries weigh heavily upon me. They are all I think about…it is all I have left, you know—my job, that is. It is all I have ever wanted to do: protect others so that they stay safe, just as my father did. I do not think I could bear it if that job was taken from me…" She said, trailing off to a whisper at the end, her face scrunched up in a pose of indescribable pain.

"That is not true," Rumil said softly, his hand gliding softly down her hair in an attempt to comfort her, "I am certain you could find something else to do, if need be-"

Her eyes shot open and she bolted into an upright position angrily. "What would you have me be, a housewife?!? I would never be satisfied with such a boring, loathsome job! I cannot even imagine myself having elflings, let alone teaching them to be good and rightly citizens of Lorien! What else would you have me be?!? Should I pick up a needle and thread for the first time and be a seamstress, confined to a chair in a flet for all the days of my life?!? No!!! There is nothing left for me here…not if I loose my job-"

"You are being unreasonable! You do not even know yet what Haldir's actions will be! It was a mistake! He cannot dismiss you for a misunderstanding!" Rumil found himself saying much louder than he had intended, irritated that she would no longer listen to a voice of reason.

Belegwen was silent for a few moments, but the look on her face said it all. She was deeply hurt that he did not understand her torment, her shame and despair. Flatly, she replied, "I have no purpose left," then smoothly walked out the door, her face unchanged.

Back in the present again, Rumil shook his head as he thought back on it. This had indeed carried on for far too long and it was time for him to take responsibility and get things straightened out with his brother. Not knowing quite what to expect, Rumil approached Haldir's watch flet in a somewhat timid fashion and slowly started to climb up the secret ladder that could be seen by none but the wood elves.

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Lost in a nightmare, Haldir felt himself jerked back into the present by a hand grasping his shoulder. Jumping up in a second, he pulled out his dagger with deadly precision and held it to the throat of his attacker. However, after glancing at his wide-eyed victim, he immediately put it down and was unable to conceal the look of guilt that he felt for doing such a thing to his brother.

For a moment both brothers just stared at each other, leaf-shaped shadows passing over their light, golden heads as the mellyrn branches softly bobbed to a rhythm that the wind created above them. The tension between them was a thick mass that proved to be a barrier that neither could cut through at the moment, both of them drowning in its abyss. Finally, Haldir was able to escape it only from his guilt, finding his gaze shifting to the small dagger that now rested in his lap, wrapped in his hand possessively.

Feeling the need to say something to his own flesh and blood, Haldir caught his younger brother's eyes for a moment before whispering hoarsely, "I am sorry brother…that was not my intention. You snuck up on me-"

"I was not being overly quiet Haldir," Rumil said a bit more loudly than necessary, anger washing over him as he analyzed the situation. "I have never been able to sneak up on you, brother. This only proves that you have been out here far longer than necessary…"

Taking a closer look at Haldir, Rumil was not surprised to find the same symptoms that Belegwen had sported earlier: dark circles under his eyes as if he had not slept in a long while, faded gold tresses, and a pallid complexion. He sat with his legs crossed Indian-style, slouched over so that most of his face was hidden in the shadows.

Haldir never slouched. Never.

As the worries for his brother and his friend piled up in his head, Rumil quickly searched for the correct words to say to break the awkward silence that had settled between them. Unable to find them, as he had never been overly tactful with words, Rumil decided to take a very blunt approach. "Haldir, you do know that Belegwen and I are merely friends, do you not?" He asked softly, taking a seat on the far side of his brother's green bedroll.

Upon hearing that, Haldir let out a small snort of sarcastic laughter, then brought his hand up to his eyes and rubbed his tired face, shaking his head as he did so. "Yes, she is merely a friend…a friend with benefits…a friend who comforts you in a most illegal way…a friend indeed."

"No Haldir, it is not what you think—please hear me out brother! I—" Rumil started, only to be cut off by an indignant Haldir who was growing angrier with every passing second.

"I know what I saw brother! Were you the one who talked her into conducting herself as such?!? For if so, you disgrace her! I bet you do not even love her, do you?!? You sicken me brother! If ada and naneth were to see-"

However, Rumil had stopped listening to his brother as he thought up a new tactic to get his brother to come home. Thinking back to what his brother had just said, Rumil began to think that he knew exactly what to say.

"-surely, surely it was not her who initiated such behaviors…I know better than that Rumil, it must have been you! You just cannot help yourself, can you?!? Flirting with every single maiden that flitters your way-"

"Haldir." Rumil said softly, causing his brother to stop his angry yammering upon hearing the new tone of voice that Rumil was using. "My brother, please hearken to me. I know you do not believe me, but please, you must come home anyhow."

"Why is that, Rumil?" Haldir spat, though with a somewhat calmer mannerism than before.

"You are hurting her Haldir."

Rumil watched as something in his softened. "Her?" Haldir questioned with a slight look of remorse on his face.

"Belegwen. Haldir, she is going crazy with worry back in Caras Galadhon because of this whole misunderstanding. She looks like she has not slept in days and is as pale as a spirit Haldir! It is almost as if she is fading! Brother, even if you do not believe me, you must go talk to her and put an end to her suffering."

Looking at his brother, he could tell that Haldir was having some sort of mental argument with himself. The harsh look on his face dissipated and he laid backwards, putting both of his arms under his head as he stared up at the stars in silence.

Uncertain of what to do, Rumil continued on at this first sign of progress. "She fears loosing her job Haldir. Being a warden is the only thing that has ever made her feel fulfilled. She would never break the rules Haldir; please, you must believe me."

Honestly, Rumil found himself quite surprised at Haldir's silent reactions. Originally, he had expected his brother to be highly rude and annoyed with him the entire time. However, at the mention of Belegwen's name, all of the anger seemed to pass from him, changing into quiet contemplation. In reality, Rumil found this quite hurtful—his brother put the feelings of his second in command before those of his own blood, for Elbereth's sake! Haldir did not trust his opinion, but would trust Belegwen's?!? Further more, he did not harbor any anger towards her or pin the blame upon her either! If Rumil did not know better, he would assume…

But no, that was not possible.

Shaking his head at his insane thoughts, Rumil looked back at Haldir's tense figure, still sprawled out on the floor of the flet, facing the stars. "Brother?" Rumil finally questioned him with a small tinge of sadness in his tone.

Quite suddenly, Haldir closed his eyes and quietly asked him a most unexpected question. "Do you love her?"

Immediately, Rumil's eyes snapped open harshly and stared intently at his brother. "Of course not! Have you not listened to any of the words that are coming out of my mouth?!? I am NOT in love-"

But Haldir was sitting up and grasping his shoulder a second later, interrupting Rumil's rapidly flowing thoughts. "Brother, do not lie to me. If…if you truly love her and she loves you back…I…I will turn a blind eye to it." He said, whispering towards the end as he seemed to get a little choked up.

"Brother," Rumil said intently, looking Haldir straight in the eye and grasping his shoulder firmly in return. "I do not love Belegwen, and I daresay she does not love me. We are merely friends: no more, no less. Come now brother, why do you assume such things? Please tell me-"

"Never mind." He said, pulling away and standing up slowly. After a few meager stretches, Haldir grabbed his bow, arrows, and sword and jumped off the platform and onto the ladder, landing at the bottom quite quickly.

"Where are you going?" Rumil called after him, racing to the edge of the flet to see his brother starting to trudge back to Caras Galadhon.

"Home, of course. Are you not coming?" He called back to Rumil, not turning around to see the surprised look on his brother's face.

_"Haldir is reacting very strangely to this… Indeed, he is much too calm…"_ Rumil thought as he quickly stepped down the ladder and jogged to catch up to his brother. Though he had not drawn any conclusions yet, his mind was now filled to the brim with suspicions about his brother and Belegwen.

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Amid the glow of silvery mellyrn trees, a single figure hurriedly jabbed and stabbed at an invisible enemy. A half moon lit the edge of the practice field that bordered the forest, the spot where Belegwen had chosen to overexert herself on this particular night. Indeed, having her job at stake, Belegwen found herself spending longer and longer on the practice field each night, as she could not sleep with her troubles bothering her so. Having shed her top tunic moments ago, now gooseflesh adorned her cold arms that were so longing for a certain warm caress that they had not felt in so long…

"BAH!" Belegwen yelled at that thought, annoyed at herself for letting her mind wander to him for the umpteenth time that night. She let her anger take over her motions and lashed out with a crazy spinning slash that screamed of her desperation. Drunk with hatred for herself and for Haldir's actions, her movements quickly became less and less tactful. After a few minutes of unadulterated anger, she realized that she must look like a fool and carelessly dropped her sword to the ground, her body following the same motion a few seconds later right beside it.

And there she laid on her stomach seething, listening to her quickened breaths from her previous exertion. Both of her hands grabbed handfuls of the thick, lustrous grass that grew on the practice field and held on tightly, as if her grip on the earth was the only thing keeping her from drowning in her sorrow, no longer concealed by the shield of anger that she had previously held.

_"Valar…"_ She silently prayed, squeezing her eyes shut, too stricken with mental misery to even glance at the stars as she spoke to them, _"Please…please do not let Haldir cast me away from him…please…I do not wish to loose my job…I do not wish to loose him…please…please…"_

She felt a single warm tear blaze a path down her cheek as she finished her desperate prayer, immediately wiping it away as she was accustomed to doing, though there were none out here to witness her momentary weakness. Too exhausted to move, Belegwen stayed still and watched the wind blow the shiny leaves of small weeds in the forest through the cracks of her unseemly dull hair that had escaped from her messy braid and laid limply in front of her face.

How much time passed, Belegwen did not know as she had started to doze off, lulled to sleep by sweet floral scents that had been carried to her on the wind from one of Lorien's fine gardens. Finally, she felt herself come back to life when a gentle finger tapped her shoulder and a soft voice whispered, "Commander?"

Sleepily, she turned her head the other direction to see which warden dared to interrupt her momentary calm, only to find a loud, involuntary scream escaping her lips as she jumped up and away with new found energy, her adrenaline suddenly pumping maddeningly as she continued to hurriedly crawl away from her attacker.

"Erthalion!" She spat, discontinuing her crawling as she stared heatedly at his squatting figure. "What are you doing here?!?" She whispered in a dangerously low voice, still breathing heavily from her scare. Every muscle in her body was tensed up, ready to instantly dodge any blows that might be coming her way.

However, her previous attacker did not seem too keen on doing her any damage on this particular night, as no anger was visible on his face. In fact, there was a certain sadness about his face and demeanor tonight, a weakness that she had never seen in him before. He looked almost…defeated.

"My Commander…" He finally said after an extended and tense silence, "I am sorry that it must be this way between us. I have merely come to apologize, if you will allow it…" He said, looking up at her after easing himself to the ground and into a comfortable sitting position.

Not being able to conjure up an answer, she watched as he shifted his feet under his buttocks and bowed his head down in shame…shame that did not look dramatized.

It was real.

Belegwen's mind went totally blank as she watched him fold his hands on his lap and shift them nervously. "Commander, I know you must hate me…but I have felt the need to approach you with an apology for quite some time now. It has taken me a great deal of courage to come before you tonight…and I am sorry that we must be alone for this, but none of the wardens will let me approach you during the daylight…" He said softly, finally looking up to see if she was paying attention to him. Immediately, she ripped her eyes away from his, unwilling to let him see the emotions that she could not hide as they passed across her face.

"I…I know that my apology probably does not mean much to you, nor do I expect you to believe me…yet I must say it, nonetheless. Truly, I am sorry for my actions. I do not know what provoked such violence to burst forth from me, but I apologize for the pain and suffering I have caused you. To act in violence was wrong…and I am sorry…so sorry." He stuttered out. She chanced a look at him upon hearing him sniffle, to find that he was staring at the ground, tears flowing freely down his face.

Belegwen did not know what to say to such a heart-felt apology. It felt wrong to cast it aside, yet she could not possibly accept it…not yet, anyhow. Though the marks had almost completely faded from her neck and her voice's clarity had returned, still she felt mentally scarred. The incident still haunted her dreams during the times that she actually managed to fall asleep… and so she constantly relived the helplessness…the pain…

…the sea…

Even simply thinking the word brought a rush of emotions over her as well as the vision…mist covering the wavy, dark water…an endless expanse of menacing black water that smelled salty and had looked so surprisingly inviting at the time…

Gasping as she shook her head a bit to clear the vivid image out of her mind, she stood up and recreated Haldir's sternest face as best she could before addressing him. "I do not accept your apology…" She said darkly, "For even though I know you do not remember the incident, I do all too well. You have no idea what sort of hurt and permanent damage you have caused here…and had it been some other ellith…you-you would have been a murderer!" She hissed, stuttering over the harsh words coming out of her mouth towards the one elf she feared.

Swallowing in her nervousness, she somehow found the strength to finish what she wanted to say. "Do not look to find mercy with me, for you will find none."

Yet still, he persisted, "Please…I was not looking for mercy, I was ju-"

"Hey…HEY!!!" Someone screamed, startling both Erthalion and Belegwen. Both of their heads whipped to the left in synchrony to see Heledhril running towards them as if all of the minions of Sauron were on his tail. The young elf was clad only in a pair of breeches, his hair light, straw-colored hair was unbraided and swirling around as he ran towards them. As he came closer, Belegwen was surprised by the worried look that had drawn his face up so tightly, along with a certain flame that sparked in his eyes—anger.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!" He roared as slowed down, glaring at the pitiful figure who was still sitting on the grass. A look of pure fear crossed Erthalion's face as Heledhril grabbed a handful of Erthalion's golden tresses and yanked his head up towards himself. "WHY HAVE YOU APPROACHED HER WHEN SHE IS ALONE!?!" He yelled again, his brow furrowed with utter rage.

Too scared to answer, Erthalion merely shivered with tremors, doing everything in his power to avoid eye-contact with Heledhril while he was in such a mood. "Well?!?" Heledhril hissed, giving his head a small shake to hurry his answer.

Upon hearing Erthalion moan, Belegwen could not take anymore of it. "Heledhril…" She said, trying to keep her voice steady as she reached forward and lightly held his arm with both of her hands, "Heledhril…he was only trying to apologize…please put him down. I cannot stand anymore violence…" She said, suppressing a small shiver that went through her body as she mentally relived the moment that Erthalion's strong hand had clasped around her neck.

Slowly, she could see that Heledhril digested her words and in a matter of seconds, he allowed Erthalion to drop to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Still terribly cross, however, Heledhril dared to point his finger in Erthalion's cringing face. "Do not come near her again. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes…" Erthalion whispered in a pained voice as he slowly got to his feet and started to walk away, both of his hands holding the top of his head in an attempt to curb the pain. Both Belegwen and Heledhril watched in silence as he faded into the distance.

Finally, when he disappeared completely, she let her hands slide down Heledhril's arm and back down to her sides, her head bowed down to hide her great relief from Heledhril. However, Heledhril mistook this look for disappointment in how he had handled the situation and immediately started trying to explain his actions.

"Commander…I am sorry if I disturbed you; I did not mean to be so violent with him…" He said, his voice shaking with emotion as he fell to his knees.

Frowning at his despair, Belegwen sank to her knees as well and laid a hesitant hand on his muscular back as she tried to get a good look at his face. "Heledhril?" She questioned softly.

As he continued breathing heavily, he managed to push out a few words. "I just…I just keep dreaming about it…about him hurting you. It is like I cannot get away from the violence…" He whispered. As he turned his head to look at her, she could see his tears freely rolling out of his eyes.

"He was my friend once."

Pain welled up within Belegwen as she heard this ultimate admission of suffering that he had kept within himself. Not hesitating for a moment, Belegwen wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly as he cried, her cheek resting against his bare back. Her own eyes scrunched up with distress as she thought of the heavy burden that had been placed upon this young and normally peaceful warden simply from having witnessed Erthalion's violence. "I am sorry…" She murmured against his skin as she held him, "I am so sorry Heledhril…this was not supposed to be your burden to bear."

At last, her trainee's tears ceased and she let him go, watching with a soft visage as he wiped away the last of his tears. Rubbing his back a bit with one of her hands, she asked, "Heledhril, what are you doing out here so late anyway? …and so…disrobed?"

"I…I had just had one of those dreams and I could not sleep, so I thought I would go for a jog to ease my thoughts…but then I happened upon you…" He said softly, looking up at her with kind eyes.

Belegwen let out a small chuckle at this. "I am assuming that your encounter has not eased your thoughts any…" She said as she stood up.

"No, indeed it has not." He said, following her example. However, he reached out and grasped her arm after a second. "Commander Belegwen, please do not come out here by yourself during the nighttime hours anymore. It is not safe with him roaming around free like this."

"Did Haldir tell you this?" She asked with an eyebrow up in suspicion.

"No…no, it was…" He said, pausing, then changing his train of thought, "Just please, please do not do it. You are strong as a commander, but you are not invincible. No one is. Do not give the opportunity to use his violence against you. If you need to practice at night, just wake me up. I will come with you; I cannot seem to sleep peacefully anyhow."

"I shall consider it." Belegwen said with a small smile. "Now, how about a sword lesson to clear your head?" She asked, then in one swoop, grabbed up Nimrodel from the ground, spun it around in her hand, before resting the blade on her other hand. "I see you brought your sword, even though you forgot your tunic." She said with a small laugh.

"I fear I am too shaky to practice balancing tonight, Commander." He replied, looking slightly crestfallen at having to refuse an opportunity to spar with an elf as renowned in the sword as her.

"That is fine. Instead, how about we practice the techniques from Advanced Swordplay?" She offered, smiling as he quickly got into a ready position.

That was all the answer Belegwen needed. She charged him and the two fought each other gracefully, their shadows dancing across the grass as they lost all track of time. Heledhril temporarily forgot his demons and Belegwen enjoyed a cleared head until she saw a figure staring at them from the equiptment shed. Quickly taking Heledhril to the ground so that she could get a better look at who it was, she gasped as she saw someone most unexpected.

"Haldir…"

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Hey, so how was it? Feel free to review and tell me all about it. I must apologize for being inactive all summer. I worked for nine weeks at a summer camp and then took a two week Entomology course (the study of insects…ick…). However, I cannot make any promises as to when I will next update, as I move back into college next Sunday… Updates should, however, be more frequent than every three months…hehe, my bad. I'll do better! A big thanks goes out to my readers who are still with me!

Have a great day!

-P.G.


	32. Chapter 32: Clinging to Hope

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By: Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 32: Clinging to Hope

The moon, not as bright as it had been at its peak, started to head back down toward the tree line as the early morning progressed. However, in the soft tendrils of silvery light, two figures stood staring at each other in silent tenion. Without looking down at the heavily breathing figure below her, Belegwen spoke evenly to Heledhril, "You have done well tonight, Heledhril, but now I must speak with the commander. Go and get some sleep."

Having left no room for argument in her tone, Heledhril, picked himself up off the ground and stood looking at her for a second with a worried look in his eyes, before finally heading off in the direction of warden's quarters. Despite this, neither Haldir nor Belegwen moved from their spots, even after Heledhril disappeared into the distance.

Finally, after the uncomfortable silence had stretched on far too long, Haldir started walking forward towards Belegwen, who was maintaining a countenance of indifference as well as she could, though a soft glint in her eyes spoke faintly of a sadness that Haldir was not sure he could fully comprehend. All he knew was that this needed to be sorted out and now.

Stopping a few feet in front of her, Haldir looked her over a bit more carefully and was surprised to find that Rumil had been telling the truth. She looked weary, almost like an aging woman. There was something wrong with her hair too; it did not glow as it once had, but appeared to be a pallid, lifeless grey that did not make him want to reach out and touch it as it normally did.

Did he look like this too? Could they be…fading?

Haldir had seen this condition before, as it had happened with a few of his wardens. Either the warden and his wife would be separated for far too long or would part ways on foul terms and it would result in the symptoms of fading: wilted looks that resembled those of men as well as a slow deterioration of physical and emotional capabilities. When caught early, his wardens had been easily cured by making physical contact with their wives and verbally sorting out their differences.

However, the three wardens that he had watched this happen to all had wives. Though Haldir knew that he loved Belegwen with all of his heart, he was not certain if she would ever return his feelings—it certainly was not happening at the present with her giving him such a cold stare that he thought his icy heart would surely shatter if it continued pumping at its regular pace.

How could this be? Rumil had thought it was simply because she was worried about losing her job, but Haldir did not think that could cause someone to fade: she would be terribly upset by it, yes, but he sincerely doubted that it would take this much of a physical toll on her body.

"Come," he finally said as he looked at her sadly, "We need to talk."

She did not reply to him, but simply followed him as he walked over the lush grass, towards the silvery tree line. Walking only a few feet into the forest, Haldir sat down, leaning up against a giant mallorn tree and patted the ground beside him, motioning her to sit as well. Belegwen quickly complied, though she did not sit in the spot next to him that he had indicated, but rather a couple feet away from him, up against the same tree. When she sat, she pulled her legs in toward her body and wrapped her arms protectively around them both. Incredible melancholy was visible on her face as she looked out into the deserted practice field, not making any effort to look his way.

"So…I suppose this is when you tell me I am no longer in the guard." She said softly, not bothering to look at him, though he could not take his eyes off of her.

Downtrodden, he looked at her and saw his exact feeling reflected back at him. "No," he murmured softly, "I did not come here to talk about the guard, but rather to talk about us."

Her soft blue eyes made contact with his after she heard that statement. "Us? Is there even an 'us,' Haldir? I know what you thought when you saw me with your brother…" She said wispily, trailing off towards the end.

"Yet he tells me it was not what it seemed…though I would prefer to hear it from you." He said to her gently, his eyes questioning her. "I will believe it when I hear it from you."

"You say that now…almost eight weeks after the incident? The only reason you are even back is because Rumil brought you—do not deny it, as I know it to be true. Anyways, you say that Rumil has already told you what happened; why must you hear it from me?" She said, now slightly annoyed.

"Belegwen-," He started.

"Oh, for pity's sake Haldir, there is nothing going on between me and Rumil! I was only in his room because we are friends and he wanted to talk to me, mainly because I was so distraught that you did not accept my decision about Erthalion!" She said, covering the upper right-hand side of her face with her hand in exasperation.

Haldir drew in a breath to reply, only to have Belegwen, who was becoming more and more upset with every second, beat him to it. "And Haldir, it was my decision to make!" She said, her voice going into a higher range as if she was going to cry. "It was not your decision; it was mine! It was the right one too, even if you are too stubborn to admit it!"

She looked as though she wanted to say more, but quickly buried her face in her legs and was silent for a long while. Haldir said nothing as he stared at her in shock. Was she crying? He had never seen her cry before and did not know what to do. Silently, he watched her unmoving body, occasionally pulling stray golden hairs out of his own face that the wind placed there.

Finally, she pulled her head up and looked at the mossy ground between the two of them, unwilling to meet his concerned eyes. He saw that her eyes were tear-free and inwardly he frowned at this, as she was taking extremely great lengths to avoid showing him this side of her. Part of him wanted to tell her that it was okay to be weak at times—that he would not think any less of her if she cried, but he knew now was not the time; there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Haldir…" She finally whispered, nearly breaking his heart with her tone of voice. He wanted to comfort her, but did not know if it was appropriate at the current moment. "You do not trust me…and it hurts. It hurts so bad…"

"I am sorry." He said gently, shutting his eyes as he mentally berated himself for being this way with her. He had never meant to come off this way, but it still kept happening and he had little control over it, as the feelings usually surfaced because he cared for her so deeply.

"Sorry is not enough." She said, laying her hand down into the soft moss that was growing on the ground between them. "Sorry will not make you trust me. Perhaps nothing will."

"Belegwen…" He said, then stopped, and finally said in a nervous manner very much unlike him, "I do not know what to do to make this better…nor can I defend my actions, but I can say that all of my wrongdoings…they were all done because I care for you." Feeling utterly defeated, Haldir stood up and stepped away...

…only to feel two soft hands enclose around the tips of his fingers in a clumsy grip.

"Haldir?" He heard her question, then after a quick pause, she whispered, "I missed you."

Without turning back to look at her, Haldir's eyes closed and scrunched up in frustration. He had been planning on leaving at this point, as he had deemed the situation hopeless, though apparently it was not… Now, though he wanted to, he could not leave, not after feeling that touch that he had longed for and dreamed about for the past two months. There was power in her touch, a mysterious, almost supernatural chill that filled his body and smothered him with relief, as if a great burden had been taken from his heart.

Of course, this was far from being so, as neither of them could find a solution to their problems. Inwardly, he chuckled: it was true. He had started to fade because he loved her…because their disagreement had lasted so long…because he had been far from her.

Hesitantly, Haldir turned around to look at Belegwen as his heart had cued him. He saw his own pain again reflected in her eyes, along with a mutual longing for something that they would never have. Nothing could be resolved, yet he was helplessly drawn to her, as if she was his weakness—he could not turn away…not even if she did not love him.

Squeezing Belegwen's hand to reassure her, Haldir knelt down beside her and she quickly embraced him in a strangling hug, which he instantly returned with equal fervor, pulling her unceremoniously onto his lap to obtain the closest contact possible. One of his arms tightened around her waist while the other hand quickly ran up her neck and straight into her hair, his fingers penetrating the hair above her loose braid, relishing the delicious feeling of the silky strands against his fingertips.

He gently nuzzled his cheek against her face, burying his nose in her hair and deeply breathing in her scent as he had yearned to do for weeks on end. He could feel her heavy, uneven breaths close to his ear and feel the warm, tingly air that she emitted on his neck. She was stroking the edge of his ear with tender care, a couple of fingers tracing it up from the lobe to the sharp, rosy tip, making him shiver involuntarily.

Yearning for more than she would give him, he simply resolved to hold her fast while clinging to his follies—the small, but incessant voices in his head that said that somehow, there was still hope for them.

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Silently, Belegwen relished the feeling of Haldir's strong hands grasping her tightly to him and wished that it would never end. Her heart was pounding manically and her fingers trembling with the last remnants of the fear that she had possessed.

She had been afraid he would leave.

Mentally, she chastised herself for the words that she had spoken in anger to him. Yes, she was still mad at him, perhaps even to the point of feeling livid, but at the same time, she could not just let him leave after she had waited so very long just to see him. Oh, how she had ached over his absence! She had needed this, needed his strong embrace, needed him…just him.

Of course, all of these conflicting thoughts dueled amongst themselves in her head, leaving Belegwen in a rather unsatisfactory state of confusion. Obviously, he did not trust her and treated her as if she was a weak female at times and not the commanding officer that she truly was. However, he cared for her, which was something she could not seem to ignore, despite his foul treatment of her.

Gently, after being held for a long time, Belegwen forced herself to pull away from his warm arms and got up off of his lap, sitting down right beside him and leaning against the great mallorn that was behind them. "I missed you too." She heard him whisper as he took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers, and giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"Haldir," She started, looking towards the practice field and up at the stars that were starting to fade away from the sky as dawn drew near, "I do not understand it…no matter how much I loath you, I cannot bear to see you walk away."

"Yet I see no way to work this out…" He replied softly, causing her to glance over at him. "Belegwen, I cannot stop worrying about your well-being just because you are a warden. I want to protect you, even if you do not need it. That is one natural instinct I simply cannot control."

"I understand your point Haldir, but I do not think this will work out if you do not trust me to make the right decisions for myself. I am your second and you do not trust me…that just hurts, Haldir." She said, looking away from him.

Both were somberly silent for a time, before Haldir finally spoke again, whispering painfully, "So…you wish for us to part ways?"

Upon hearing this, Belegwen shivered and gripped his hand in a tight squeeze. She looked up and met his cold, blue eyes that were paired with a rather distraught expression that he did not bother to hide. Weird emotions swirled around in Belegwen's stomach, making her feel as though she could vomit at any given moment under the intensity of his burden-filled eyes.

"No," She said breathily, her breathing unsteady, "No…I am a fool for doing this, but I will give you one last chance."

His eyes stared down at her, now wide with shock. Their ferocity almost ripped her in two and caused her to look down at her legs. Emotionally drained, she leaned her shaking body up against his, gently clutching his muscular arm with both of her hands and setting her soft cheek up against the warm wool of his tunic.

"Thank you." She felt him whisper close to her ear, his arm hesitantly snaking around her as they watched the sky start to ever-so-slowly lighten into a soft shade of purple that would mark the beginning of the sunrise.

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Haldir found himself staring down and smiling at the sweet ellith that was cuddled up against the side of his body, sending an immense tidal wave of relief that swept him away and made him feel as though he was on top of the world. Silently, he sent his thanks to the Valar for her forgiveness. The mere thought of her casting him off was simply unbearable and he was glad that it was, at least for now, out of the question.

"Do not think that you are totally forgiven…I am still mad at you…" She mumbled tiredly, trailing off towards the end.

"Sssh," Haldir whispered as he carefully got up and maneuvered her stirring body into his arms. "You need to sleep…it looks like you have not done so in days…"

"I have not…" She murmured, leaning her head against his solid chest, too tired to think or argue about him picking her up, "I had…too much on my mind…burdens…"

"Let them go for now…sleep, my beautiful warden." He coaxed her languidly as he stepped smoothly through the dewy grass of the practice field, reveling in the scent of her body and the occasional feel of her silky hair brushing against one of his hands.

Softly walking through the thin morning fog, Haldir hesitated when he reached the steps that would lead up to the warden's quarters. It was close to morning and he did not want to get caught holding his second so very intimately… However, knowing how little she had slept over the past months, he decided to take a chance and gracefully ascended the stairs as quickly as possible without jolting her out of reverie.

Surprisingly enough, he found himself at the door to her room without having seen a single elf awake and roaming the corridors. Haldir had been certain that he would run into trouble and had not wanted to lie and make up an explanation on the spot. Gently, he turned the cold knob to her door and quickly let himself in, shutting the door behind him.

Approaching her bed, with gentle care, he set her down after grabbing away the wrinkled sheet that laid atop it and pulled it off with a quick jerk. Being as careful as he could not to wake her up, Haldir silently unlaced her soft leather boots and pulled them from her limp, bare feet. Setting her second foot back down on the bed, Haldir took a moment just to look at her as long as he desired. He smiled at her sleeping form—she looked so calm and peaceful on her white satin sheets as the first mandarin rays of sun sprung forth over her balcony and hit her face, the light dancing on her still blue eyes as she slept on silently.

Ever so carefully, Haldir slid one of her arms closer to her body, watching her face for any signs of stirring, as his fingers touched her lightly chilled flesh. Finally, he undid the tie that held her messy braid together and gingerly brushed the pieces apart until they were completely separated from their previous weave.

A deep feeling of goodness encompassed Haldir and he bent down so that the tips of his golden hair were lightly touching her neck. His hand went up to her cheek and he softly caressed, taking in her beautiful features in the light glow of the morning sunrise. All of his doubts and his thoughts left his mind…it was just him and her…

Bending down even lower, he breathed against her ear and then whispered almost inaudibly, "I love you." Kissing her ear lightly, Haldir stood back up, only to see her start to move. Surprised, he quickly jumped away, his eyes wide with shock. He was not ready for her to hear that yet!

Most luckily for him, she seemed to have only desired to roll onto her side. Watching her like a hawk, he never saw her eyes come back into focus. Sighing with relief, he quickly exited out of the room before he had anymore close calls.

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Already more than a little shaken up from admitting something so personal to Belegwen, even if she did sleep through it, Haldir found that when he got into bed, though he had not slept for days, sleep was still not an option. A grouchy countenance etched upon his face, Haldir threw off his sheets and quickly wrapped himself in his white satin robe before heading down the marble stairs to the bathhouse.

His soak in the gentle waters did not calm him though, as he could only think of Belegwen and the words that had so mysteriously popped right out of his mouth, as if they were natural… Well, of course they were natural, but he had wanted to save them for the perfect moment…a moment where he was certain that she felt the same way. A moment when they could announce it to all of Caras Galadhon…

Basically, a moment that would not exist.

Now, as he tightened his sword harness around his waist and stared at himself in his mirror, he found himself truly wondering what he was going to do. What would they do? For pity's sake, when he was away from her, he had started to fade! His love for her was strong and held a power that was great, perhaps so great that he could not fathom it…

This could not be ignored…not anymore.

Down the spiraling staircase he trod as morning finally broke out in all of its glory, the sun caressing the horizon and painting the skies with brilliant streaks of marigold and crimson, mixed to utter perfection. Momentarily, Haldir had turned to return a greeting to a warden who had bid him a good morning, only to turn back and be transfixed by an ellith who was standing majestically in the sun, radiating with an unspeakable supremacy.

The Lady of Light.

Immediately, Haldir was on his knee in servitude with his head bent down, for above all else other than Eru and the Valar, he held her in the highest esteem. "My lady." He stated softly in greeting.

"Come Haldir," She said, beckoning him with one fragile hand when he looked up. "There is much that we need to discuss."

Immediately on his feet, Haldir followed Galadriel, trekking under flower-loaded trellises as they entered a nearby garden, thick and green. Deeper and deeper, they immersed themselves in the jungle of plants. The trees got thicker and the secluded path narrowed in the shaded area that was still blanketed with a thick, eerie mist. Haldir started to feel uneasy as they came upon a hidden stone stairway and started to descend into a small valley with a gentle waterfall. In fact, Haldir noted, the valley was so eerie that the only thing he could hear was the waterfall—the normal sounds of the forest were gone.

By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, Haldir was almost certain that he could hear his own silent footsteps and the beating of his heart. Naturally, this made him edgy and he fidgeted absently with one of his woolen sleeves as he strode after the lady, looking around at the shady scenery around him.

_"Haldir…" _He heard in his mind and instantly stopped and faced forward to find himself standing in front of an ornately designed pedestal that held a large stone basin and pitcher. Little sparks of electricity tingled around him as he walked up three stairs to look inside of it, but it was empty. Looking up, Haldir stared into a stern face that almost had a bluish-grey tint to it in the darkened area.

"You did not come when I called for you…you did not leave the borders and now you have your work cut out for you, Marchwarden." Galadriel said, her face unmoving from its unforgiving, cold stare. Picking up the pitcher silently, she turned away from him and walked over to the small fall.

"The time has come for war Haldir. Imladris' troops march to join us even as we speak. They are scheduled to arrive in five days, at which point our troops will join them and together, you shall march to Helm's Deep." Galadriel said, sending a shock through Haldir. Already they were to go to war?!? He had originally thought he would have a few years to prepare his wardens, not two mere months!

"…and…what would you have me do, my lady?" He asked softly, his thoughts racing in his head crazily.

"I would have you lead, Haldir." She said as she walked back towards him, carrying the pitcher which now contained water. "Glorfindel must stay at Imladris and attend to business with Lord Elrond and so it has been requested that you command the conjoined contingent of soldiers. Will you accept this honor?" She asked, staring at him gravely.

Again, Haldir found himself down on his knees, bowing before her. "Yes, my lady. My allegiance is with you, as I swore it so long ago. If this is what you require of me, then let it be so."

With a mysterious smile, the lady looked at Haldir as she raised her hand and poured the contents of the pitcher out into the basin before him. There was a curious glint in her eyes that made Haldir forget all about the war and become slightly nervous, though he knew not why.

"Will you look into my mirror?" She whispered eerily.

Haldir cocked one of his eyebrows up at this suggestion. "It is not a normal mirror…" He stated softly, warily as he continued to be captivated by the lady.

"Your instincts serve you well Haldir. If you look in my mirror, I cannot tell you what you will see. Many see their past and present…and some even see what awaits them beyond today." She said softly, then added, "Do not let me affect your decision, Haldir. Let your answer be your true desire."

Questioningly, Haldir looked at off-white basin and considered the request. There were certain things that he did not want to see…what if he and Belegwen showed up in the mirror? What would the lady say if she found out? Haldir bit his lip at this thought—still, curiosity seemed to be winning out, as he did desire to find out what the mirror would show him.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he found himself taking a tentative step forward and gazing into the clear, shiny liquid below him. At first, he saw nothing, only a reflection of himself staring back at him. Then, a moment after he had started to relax, small ripples appeared in the water going from one side to another, as though a small wind was blowing it…

…despite the fact that there was no wind.

Slowly, a face started to materialize before him…a very familiar face… Haldir gulped down a nervous breath as he realized exactly who was looking at him. His jaw quivered slighted as the face watched him, moving only a little.

"M-my lady…I do not understand…" Haldir shuddered, moving his hand in front of his face to see it trembling in a way that it had not in a long while, then gasped as he saw elf in the water examining his own hand as well, which seemed to be shaking a bit too.

Upon hearing no response from Galadriel, Haldir murmured more to himself than to her, "How can this be?" His eyes were uncertain, his hands gripping the sides of the basing heartily as he leaned closer to the elf who mimicked his every move with a disturbing precision.

Somehow, he managed to pry one of his steely hands off the side of the basin and, shakily, brought it through his dangling golden hair again so that it was in front of his face. "It cannot be real…" He whispered, a cold sweat breaking out on his face as he lowered his hand down to try and touch the being that was seemingly reaching up out of the water towards him. "It cannot-"

An intense shock ran through Haldir's body as he touched the water and he fell backwards with a push and down the stairs very ungracefully, gasping for air and shivering uncontrollably. Pulling himself quickly onto his hands and knees, Haldir looked at the fingers that had made contact with the water.

They were burnt.

Looking cautiously upward to the basin, Haldir cringed as he saw it smoking dangerously. Galadriel gazed down at him with a clearly disturbed look on her face. After a second of awkward silence, the lady finally said in a somewhat stunned voice, "Never in all of my years has one been shown something like that… I do not know yet what it means… When I do, I will let you know." She said softly, then quickly turned around and left him by himself in that Valar-forsaken place.

Haldir looked down at the ground again, feeling an unusual churning in his stomach. When he had first peered into the mirror, it had never occurred to him that he would see Orophin.

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Well, what did you think? Does the mirror part seem rushed to you? I don't know, maybe I'm just being hard on myself again… Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day! Thanks for reading!

-P.G.


	33. Chapter 33: Pondering Life and Death

Welcome back to TBFF! Long time, no see, eh? My apologies, I've been quite busy and I'm afraid that my fandom obsession has shifted to Harry Potter, most surprisingly. Anyway, I am still quite determined to finish this, though it is hard. I feel like I've been working on it forever. However, it will get finished and it will get easier to write once we get to the climax. It's just the getting there part that's worrisome. I've been extremely busy with college too, but I've somehow managed to finally get this baby out. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

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**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 33: Pondering Life and Death

A tingly feeling that brought warmth to her cheek was what first made Belegwen start to stir from her deep slumber. Then she slowly started to feel the presence of another elf. Belegwen tried to ignore this, even as she felt the bed incline a bit under the weight of another.

"Good morning beautiful." She heard a soft male voice say…a male voice that was not Haldir's. Immediately, Belegwen gasped, blinked to rewet her eyes, and quickly turned to find Rumil sitting on her bed, smiling softly at her as he stroked her cheek. "How are you feeling this morning? Better than before, I hope?"

Belegwen closed her eyes breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Rumil there. "You scared me, Rumil." She murmured, as he continued to stroke her cheek gently.

Rumil just chuckled a bit at this. "Indeed, I did." He said in an amused voice, but quickly sobered up, "You look better than before. Did you get your worries straightened out with Haldir?"

"Yes and praise the Valar for it… I do believe I owe you my gratitude as well, for who else would be able to pull the mighty Marchwarden from his post?" She asked softly, with a small chuckle.

"It was I." Rumil admitted tenderly as he smiled down at her, "I could not stand knowing that you and my brother were suffering so."

Belegwen's eyes seemed to smile as they made contact with Rumil's. "I am grateful Rumil. Thank you." She said, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze, "You are a good friend."

This, however, made Rumil break out in loud laughter. "Sadly," He started after he recovered from his outburst, "you may not think so after I give you this." He said, holding up a large scroll of paper.

"What is it?" Belegwen asked curiously, cocking up her eyebrow as she gingerly sat up in her bed.

"It is a list of jobs for you to do for the next four days, sent to you straight from Commander Haldir." He replied rather grimly.

"Four days worth?" Belegwen asked, looking a bit horrified, "Why?"

"Belegwen," Rumil said, putting his hand on her arm in a reassuring way, "We are at war. It was declared yesterday while you were in reverie."

However, Belegwen had no reply, feeling quite shocked by all of this. Looking towards Rumil, she saw that he looked just as worried as she felt. "So it has finally come…"

"Yes." Rumil said, equally as soft, "Lord Elrond is in agreement with the Lady. Together, they have decided that recent events match up with those that Galadriel has foreseen in her mirror. Our time for involvement is now. Wardens from Imladris will be joining us in four days and then we will journey forward to Helm's Deep."

"Will we make it there on time?" She asked, looking rather worriedly at Rumil.

"I believe so." He answered solemnly, "There are no signs of danger there currently, but it will take several fortnights for us to travel there…if we waited until there were signs of danger, I daresay we would come much too late."

"I see…" Belegwen murmured, thoroughly overwhelmed by the suddenness of the information. It seemed like just a few hours ago that she had been reveling in the feel of Haldir's arms around her. Now all she could feel was the churning of her stomach.

While Haldir had already hinted to her that this day would soon come, Belegwen could not help but feel surprised. With war came death, which was not a natural thing for elves. Though Belegwen had obtained many foul injuries over the years, she had never once thought that she might die. For the first time, the possibility was there and struck her as odd.

Elves were not meant to die.

Distracted and a bit distraught, Belegwen quickly pushed her dark thoughts out of her head and focused on Rumil. "May I see my itinerary?" She asked quietly.

In response to this, Rumil gave her arm another reassuring squeeze. "Everyone is overwhelmed about it—you are not alone."

"I know Rumil…but as a commanding officer, I cannot let it show to others." She said softly, smiling sadly.

"I am certain they would be understanding Belegwen. Though I see where it might be beneficial at certain times, there is no need for you to always push your emotions deep within yourself." He argued back gently, but intensely.

She felt his hand grasp her shoulders and she looked up into his eyes. They expressed pity for her and her position. Belegwen sighed and looked down at the pile of crumpled sheets that were in her lap.

"It is a chance I am unwilling to take Rumil, especially not now when we are suddenly on the brink of war. I need all of the wardens to follow me and I cannot risk them seeing me as a coward." Belegwen related to him, then added, "I cannot imagine Haldir acting any differently either. He will hide what he feels as well."

"You are correct in saying that, dearest Belegwen. However, nobody expects you to be like Haldir." Rumil said, as he stood up from his seat on her bed.

Belegwen watched as he walked to her small desk and picked up a scroll from it, then placed it in her hands. Quickly, Belegwen opened the roll of paper and glanced through the schedule. It was full for the next four days, marked down to the minute. In fact, she was supposed to be starting the first preparation right at that very moment.

"Oh dear…it seems my first engagement is supposed to be happening right now." She said, jumping out of bed quickly and grabbing her boots, still clad in the training clothes she had worn two days ago.

"I will be on my way then." Rumil said, turning towards the door, but then gracefully turning back again, "You will tell me if you need anything, will you not? Even if it is just the need of my extremely charming company?" He asked, pretending to be serious.

Belegwen smiled at his joke. "Of course Rumil. Thank you."

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With a sigh, Haldir put down the quill that had lingered in his hand for far too long without motion. What was wrong with him? Why could he not concentrate on his work—work that was very important, considering that they were going to war in a mere two days?

Of course, he knew why. Every time he closed his eyes, Haldir saw Orophin's face staring back at him eerily, just as it had in the Lady's mirror. According to even Galadriel herself, this had been an odd vision.

Haldir had not been shown the past, present, or future…he had seen his brother as if he was interacting with him from the Halls of Mandos. Had his brother been trying to warn him about something? Was he going to die at this up and coming battle?

A small flicker of fear caused Haldir's heart to skip a beat as he pondered this. If he looked at the vision that way, he could have very well been seeing the future, where he was interacting with Orophin because they were both dead.

It was not a reassuring thought.

Though Haldir had led a rather long and productive life, he was certainly not ready for it to end. There were many things he had not experienced that he wanted to…so many things he had yet to do…

Really, he should not even have to ponder death in such a way! Elves were not meant to die! When it really came down to it, Haldir wanted to sail to Valinor and surpass the whole death bit, which was supposed to be for the Edain, not the Eldar.

It was there though. This was how he had interpreted the vision and it was really the only possibility he could draw from his otherworldly encounter with Orophin.

Haldir was going to die.

Or at least, that was the most reasonable conclusion he could draw from all of this. Really, this was a very inopportune time for him to die, even if the idea of letting his body go in the way that men did was not totally disagreeable to him.

There was Belegwen—Belegwen whom he cared about, Belegwen whom he had fought for so that she would give him one more chance that he did not deserve…

Belegwen, whom he loved, even if he could not admit it to her face.

If only he could tell her. If only there was some way they could-

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by two strong arms wrapping around his neck and a light kiss to the top of his head. "Brother." Haldir acknowledged, knowing that Rumil was the only ellon who would give him such a greeting.

"Haldir." Rumil's telltale voice said back. "I was on a small break and thought you might desire a bit of company."

"Indeed, I do." He said as Rumil came into his line of vision, "I have been sitting at this desk for far too long."

"Perhaps sitting on your balcony for a little while would give you a nice change in scenery." Rumil suggested, already heading out the open wall without waiting for Haldir to agree.

Haldir followed him out without an argument and sat down beside him in the shade, dangling his legs off the balcony just like his brother. A small smile crept up on his face as the warm sunlight hit his face. Indeed, it had been far too long since he had been away from his desk.

"I was glad to hear that you are on friendly terms with Belegwen again." Rumil said bluntly, which resulted in Haldir whipping his head around to glare at Rumil for bringing up this particular topic that he so desperately wanted to avoid.

"You are annoyed with me for bringing it up." Rumil said, looking sad a bit sad that Haldir had not received his comment in a better manner. "I just wanted to say that I am glad you two have gotten close. You have not had much in the way of companionship recently and I am glad you have found some."

Haldir made no comment in return to this. Mentally, one voice inside of his head was telling him to confide in Rumil about Belegwen. The other half of him insisted that such an action would prove he was a hypocrite, as he had condemned Rumil for being romantically involved with a fellow warden when the whole incident had started all of those weeks ago.

Overall, Haldir really did need advice on the matter. He did not know how to handle this situation that had so easily gotten tangled in. Advice seemed like a luxery though and Haldir knew he could not ask for it from Rumil. He and Belegwen had to remain a secret at least until the battle was over… Then perhaps there would be some chance of happiness for them.

That is, if Haldir made it through the battle.

"Brother, you are troubled." Rumil said softly. Haldir's eyes met Rumil's once again and saw concern for him in his eyes. "Am I no longer a trusted confidant?"

"Of course brother," Haldir said, trying his best to reassure his Rumil, "It is just a trivial matter; do not concern yourself with it."

However, when Rumil's arm grabbed Haldir's own, he knew he was not going to get away with any more excuses. "Haldir, every time you say that, it really is an important matter! I am worried about you! You used to tell me and Orophin everything…what happened? You have not been yourself since…since he passed."

"I know." Haldir answered after a long pause. Then, at a whisper he said, "I saw him."

Rumil's eyebrows dipped down in confusion. "What are you talking about Haldir?"

"I saw Orophin. In the Lady's mirror." Haldir said almost inaudibly.

Rumil held onto Haldir's arm tightly and showed no signs of letting go. When Rumil said nothing, Haldir continued. "She said the mirror would show my past, present, or future, but this was more interactive… It was like his spirit was really there in the water. The Lady did not know what it meant."

"Oh Haldir…" Rumil muttered and a few seconds later, Haldir felt his brother's arms around his shoulders. It took Haldir a second to decide what to do, but he found himself returning the embrace quietly. Though Haldir never would have actively sought such comfort for himself, he would openly receive that which was freely given to him. Indeed, he appreciated his brother's efforts greatly.

However, there was no need to go into details. After all, Haldir's theory was only a theory at best and he did not want to worry his brother about what he thought might be his last battle in the living world.

Really, there was no need to worry anyone.

Thus, Haldir resolved that he would tell no one of his new development as they certainly had enough on their minds with the war to worry about. He had all the comfort he needed in his brother's embrace.

"You do not know its meaning either?" Rumil questioned quietly, without relinquishing his hold on Haldir.

"No, I do not." Haldir said, lying easily as he had been trained to do so long ago.

"What a terrible time to experience such a thing…" Rumil said, finally pulling away to look Haldir in the eye. Haldir was prepared for this though and gave him a smile of sincerity, even though his heart was quaking within his chest.

"I know." He replied, looking down to try and get his thoughts under control.

"Brother, you cannot let this get to you." Rumil said firmly, grasping his arm with renewed vigor, "If you are distracted during the battle, bad things could happen and I will not have it."

Oh dear…perhaps it was a bad idea to tell Rumil. Perhaps he would draw his own conclusions. The last thing that Haldir had wanted to do was worry his brother, but it seemed as though it had happened anyway.

"You must not die, Haldir. You must not leave me alone." Rumil said most adamantly. "I would be the only family member left if you were to die! I do not want to be alone!" He repeated, pleading.

"Brother," Haldir said, trying to be the voice of reason in this awkward situation. He really had not expected Rumil to act like this, but in the back of his head, it made sense. Slowly, their family was dwindling down to nothing and Orophin's death was still an unhealed wound. "I cannot promise you such a thing. You know that." He said slowly, taking one of Rumil's hands in his own.

"You also know that I have had much experience in battle, more than any other warden in these woods. Do you doubt my skill brother?" Haldir asked.

"No…but I will still worry. You are my brother and I love you dearly. I do not want you to do something careless because your mind is full of things other than the battle at hand." Rumil said.

"I will not be careless, Rumil. You know this. We have better things to be worried about than this-" Haldir started.

"Really?" Rumil said, interrupting him, "The last time I checked, the welfare of my brother-"

"Erthalion, Rumil." Haldir said sternly, "I am worried about the situation with Belegwen and Erthalion."

"Oh, indeed." Rumil said, though giving Haldir a look that told him that the previous subject would be broached again later, "I suppose he is coming with us then, so we can watch over him?"

"Yes, it was part of Belegwen's decree that we take him along and watch him so that the same situation will not occur again. Still, I do not think this is the right course of action, but there will be no swaying her. He must come with." Haldir said, clearly frustrated as he put his hands over his face.

"I assume you do not want this?" Rumil questioned as he watched him closely.

Haldir's annoyance, however, continued to blossom. "Of course I do not want this! It is one more thing to worry about! I cannot even talk it over with her because I fear I will lose her cooperation in our partnership and I need her to be working with me if we are going to lead this army!" He said, getting progressively louder.

After realizing that he was nearly yelling at Rumil, he put his hands over his face and laid down on the balcony, his feet still dangling off the side. The stress of everything was pressing down on him with the force of a boulder and could barely move under its weight. The fact that Rumil was viewing his weakness right now was not helping the situation either…

Despite this, he did feel a bit of comfort as Rumil's hand clamped down tightly over his shoulder. "Brother…" He said softly, but steadily, "Everything will work out according to plan."

After a long pause, Haldir whispered back, "I hope you are right…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After a long day, a lone figure entered the stairwell that led up to the warden's quarters and slowly ascended the stairs. Belegwen was more tired than she had imagined possible. She had no idea what she could do about it either because the wardens of Lothlorien were meeting up with the wardens from Imladris outside of the Golden Wood early the next morning.

The last few days had seemed like an eternity, as Belegwen had worked nonstop on the list that Haldir had given her, doing everything from teaching extra sword lessons to strategizing with Lord Celeborn. Now all she really wanted was a nice bath and to get a few hours of sleep before dawn…but there was one last thing on her list.

See Commander Haldir for last minute assignments.

Somehow, that was not an appealing end to the list.

Feeling annoyed and rather sad that she had not been able to attend the going away celebration that was still going on, Belegwen slowly made her way up the glowing hall and soon found herself in front of Haldir's doorway.

For a long while, she just stood there in silence, listening to the light music and sounds of merriment that could be detected even at the top stairwell of the warden's quarters. Honestly, she was a bit afraid of what he might say when she went in there. She had already checked the draft sheet to make sure that Erthalion was going and he was, but Belegwen knew Haldir would not be happy about it. Also, if he was under the same amount of stress that she was, he could not be in a very good mood.

Indeed, she had heard rumors of an overly snarky Marchwarden terrorizing those who showed any sort of incompetence during his last few classes. Though she had not seen Haldir in the last few days, she imagined that such tales were not far from the truth.

Truly, she did not want to see Haldir if he was angry. She was giving him one more chance, one_ last_ chance, and she did not want to see him blow it because of the numerous things that were plaguing his mind. No, she wanted things to go according to plan this time. Neither of them needed to start fading again at a time like this.

Gathering up her strength of will, she quietly knocked on his door and was surprised when it immediately opened. She found herself standing face to face with one tired, but smiling Commander of the Lorien Guard. The moment his eyes flickered down and up her body seductively, she knew that there would not be any last minute assignments.

At least, not any unpleasant ones.

"Commander." She said, acknowledging him formally. She was determined to maintain their cover until the door was closed, even if his eyes had been wandering quite languidly over her body.

Belegwen quickly walked in and watched as Haldir shut the door. She had expected him to come onto her immediately, but was surprised when he just looked at her with analyzing eyes. "Belegwen." He finally said, greeting her rather belatedly. "Shall we sit on the balcony?" He said, reaching a hand out to her all while staring into her eyes. Neither of them could look away.

She gently took hold of his calloused hand and he slowly started to pull her towards the balcony, a mysterious smile on his face—one that she had not seen before. "You have been planning something." She said softly as intrigue danced in her eyes.

"Perhaps," He answered, stopping as they stood on the balcony. He put his hands on her hips and suddenly got close to her—very close. "Are you still angry with me?" He whispered, his lips tickling the edge of her ear gently as he held her close.

"No." She whispered back, pulling away to look into his mischievous eyes. "I am not."

He smiled down at her. "Very well, my lady, may I have this dance?" He asked. However, he only gave her a enough time to make an awestruck face before grabbing her up and whirling her around the balcony to the light wisps of a fast dance that could just barely be heard from their perch above the city.

Belegwen gasped as she was lifted into the air while he twirled. Quickly, she got her muddled mind pulled together and felt her feet leading her in a familiar dance that she had not partaken in for a rather long time. Not surprisingly, Haldir was quite light on his feet and together they moved more smoothly than she ever remembered moving during a dance. It was almost as if she could anticipate his motions…

It was almost as if she could hear him counting the beats out in her mind.

Surely that was only her imagination though. Belegwen knew as well as any other elf that a mind connection could only form between two elves if they were bonded and she had not went through any such ceremony with Haldir.

A bit confused with this new discovery, Belegwen quickly put it out of her head and concentrated on moving with him, meeting his eyes and smiling as they danced in the glow of the silver leaves.

After three strong dances, Haldir suddenly dropped to the ground and Belegwen let out a small yelp as he took her with her. His body easily cushioned her landing though and with a single glance into his eyes, she knew he had done that on purpose. Tickled with this mindless flirtation, Belegwen giggled as he playfully kissed her on the face while rolling around on the balcony with her. When she finally managed to get on top again, both stopped to catch their breath, though the magical twinkle in their eyes never faded.

"You are a good dancer." Belegwen said with a large smile, her hand stroking his rosy cheek gently as they looked at one another.

"Indeed, and you have much improved since we last danced… You do remember that occasion, do you not?" He asked as he pulled her closer, both of them finally starting to breath normally again.

"Oh…oh, you remember that?" She asked, looking at him with shock, "I cannot believe you remember that!"

"How could I forget those olden days when Lord Celeborn was so desperately trying to make you into 'a proper lady.' You had such a terrible look of ire on your face while we danced that one would have thought I had sent you into the very clutches of Sauron himself."

"Yes, well, learning to dance was just one more step in a direction I did not wish to head. I hope you were not too offended by my rudeness at the time." She said, now drawing small circles on his chest with a feather-light touch that made him shiver involuntarily underneath her.

"No, I was not. Even I had heard the gossip about you not complacently following Lord Celeborn's orders at that time. Thus, I was not surprised by your uprising." That said, his lips fell onto hers with a gentleness that she immediately latched onto.

It was the first kiss they had shared since their two month fight and the moment that their lips touched, there was almost an electric shock of power which passed between the two of them. Immediately, Belegwen felt her body nearly explode with passion as his lips caressed hers with a harshness that suggested just how much he had missed her during his absence.

When they finally broke away, both panting heavily, Belegwen quickly asked airily, "Is everything in place for tomorrow or are there more things to do?"

Immediately, Haldir's visage scrunched into a look of confusion. Thusly, Belegwen decided to elaborate. "I meant, was there truly anything more I needed to do tonight, or was that a mistake on the list you made for me?"

Haldir's odd face immediately returned to normal and he kissed her once again, this time much softer, before replying, "No, all is prepared for our leave tomorrow, but it was no mistake either. I was hoping for your company tonight, sweet warden. May I have it?" He questioned, looking serious for the first time that night. "It will be our last opportunity for a long time."

Belegwen looked down as a sad feeling passed over her. Perhaps it would be their last time ever. What if he died? Confound it all, she knew such thoughts were ruining the mood between them, yet she could not seem to stop them.

"Belegwen, do not think such things." Haldir said softly, as she quickly got to her feet in an attempt to avoid him and his questioning. "I am not going to die."

There was a long bout of silence before she finally managed to turn back towards him, only to find him standing a mere two feet away from her. "You read my thoughts." She accused, though her voice sounded more confused than angry.

"Yes, I did." He admitted with an equally confused look on his face, "Though I do not know how…" He said, trailing off softly.

Belegwen put her hand over her forehead in irritation and seemed to be struggling for words that refused to come. Worriedly, Haldir came over to her and gently pried the hand away from her face before gripping both of her hands tightly in his own. "Belegwen, I will talk to the Lady about these odd occurrences when we return. Do not fret, for I am certain she will have an explanation-"

"Haldir, you think you are going to die!" She suddenly blurted out, grasping his hands with a fury. She had felt it, heard the thought whisper in the back of her head and now she was suddenly terrified for him. The world blurred around her and she started to breathe heavily as the panic set in.

Just before she lost all control, she felt his strong hands push her up against the wall with a little more force than she was used to. While the action had not really hurt, it surprised her and so she stared up at him, giving him her full attention.

"Belegwen, listen to me." He said in his commanding tone, "I do not understand what is happening to us, but I need you to cease your panicking. We have to leave tomorrow working together and looking fearless as we go and face the bowels of Arda. Now, if something should happen to me, you must lead; you know this. I trust you to do this and you must promise me you will, no matter how terrible you feel. We have sworn ourselves to this duty and we must see it through to the end. You are ready for such feats, if the need should arise. Now promise me you will do this." He stated calmly.

A large entourage of emotions passed over Belegwen after hearing this. As clearly as day, she could sense the thoughts he had about the Lady's mirror, the image of his brother within, and the hypothesis he had come up with himself. Indeed, it felt odd to read someone else's thoughts and almost invasive. After all, neither had consented to allow such a thing, yet there it was.

Could Haldir be wrong though? Belegwen could think of very few instances where his instincts had failed him. The belief that he was wrong, however, would be the only thing that would sustain her throughout the journey to Helm's Deep and so she clung her hope with the strength of a mortal.

Never had she imagined that she might have to choose between duty and love. Haldir had already made his choice, but she had known that all along. He had married into the guard first and would defend his land no matter what the cost. Belegwen did not have quite as much devotion as him: few did. However, deep down, she knew what must be done.

"I promise Haldir." She said softly, "I promise that if you should fall, I will push my emotions aside and lead as you have trained me to do."

Both of them stared at each other intensely as they analyzed the seriousness of the situation. The mutual feeling of shared duty lingered between them and united them mentally in a way that nothing else would.

Then, without a second's hesitation, Haldir kissed her boldy, with the passion of an elf who had been starved, and indeed, he had been starved for her lips. Together, they made love one last time before their leave-taking the next morning.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! I really do like to know what everyone thinks and with these large breaks between chapters, I often worry that the reading isn't well connected or that I forget important details. Please let me know what you think!

-P.G.


	34. Chapter 34: Rumil's Discovery

Hello all! Well, that is, if anyone is still out there, lol. I can't believe that I started this in 2002 and it's still not finished! I've neglected it quite badly, and for that, I'm truly sorry. One of my fellow authors in the Harry Potter world actually gave me the idea of springing back into this. She recently discontinued one of her fics and simply wrote how she planned to end it at the end of the fic. I decided after reading that type of ending that I really don't want this fic to end that way. I want to post the real ending and I think I might finally be ready to jump back into working on it again.

This is a terribly small chapter, but I'm posting it this way because I wrote this section back in 2008 and I want it to be separate from what I write next, which might sound stylistically different than this chapter. My writing continues to change over the years—I do hope you can see the progression in this story. Please enjoy this little section I wrote back then and let me know if you're still reading. Encouragement would definitely help me find the will to get the next part out.

Thank you to all of you who are still here and reading the fic. I'm glad so many people have enjoyed this one over the years.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises._

OOOOOOO

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 34: Rumil's Discovery

Soft tendrils of light floated down from the sky and illuminated Haldir's room with a soft silver glow. Taking in a slow breath, Haldir inhaled the scent of Belegwen's hair as he nuzzled his head against hers gently. Silently, he listened to her breathe, feeling the ever-so-slight movement of her chest against his arm as she slept peacefully against him.

Tenderly, Haldir sifted his fingers through her hair and watched as each individual strand was bathed in the moonlight. Merciful shores, she was beautiful…

What if this was the last time they laid like this?

Haldir squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt the clenching pain start up in his chest again—the one he felt every time he thought about dying. Surely this battle could not be his last! He did not want to think that this could be his last night laying with her rolled warmly against his body.

Just in case, he closed his eyes and tried to commit every little detail into his memory; the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips, the peaceful look on her face while her eyes were glazed over with reverie, her loose hairs, which tickled his shoulder mysteriously every time a breeze blew through the window. Everything.

The familiarity of her was a comfort in and of itself. They had lain together like this so many times, so close to one another that it was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began. She almost seemed like an extension of himself, lying there peacefully beside him.

Haldir's last few fortnights had felt rather empty due to the lack of this closeness. He hoped it was not as problematic when they went off to war. So far, they were not arguing about anything and if they were on good terms, he imagined that they would both be able to put up with the lack of touch. Well, at least for a little while…

Really, Haldir was not sure if he could go that long without acknowledging her in this way. It was easy enough to keep such a secret in Lothlorien because they could find privacy often enough to express their relationship. However, while traveling with the guard, there would be no such thing.

The more Haldir thought about it, the more he really did not want to leave. He had grown quite used to these quiet moments with her and found that he greatly enjoyed them, perhaps even more than when they actually entered into their sexual acts. Seeing her so calm and placid made him relax. He knew that Belegwen had seen little happiness in her long life and so it pleased him greatly to see her during moments where she was not tense or stressed.

He had little say in the matter of whether or not he left though. If he was truly meant to die then it would happen as surely as day would replace night. Therefore, this would be his last night with her.

Haldir did not want to have any regrets. He needed to tell her how he felt, as it was possibly his last chance. Now under a pressure that he had never felt before, Haldir was quite tempted to do it.

However, he knew he would not. He was too afraid, for what if she did not return his affections? Because of his duty, he could not risk the chance of fading again. His guard needed him.

If he could make it back though…if his prediction was really just something that he made up in his mind, perhaps there was hope for it after the war. If he could brave fighting Orcs and Uruk-hai, then surely he could ask the Lady to amend her guard rules so that an allowance could be made.

Yes, he would place his hope in such a thing; it would be the only thing that would make the trip tolerable, thinking about how he could have her when he got back. If he came back, they could get married and sleep together like this every night.

Haldir could call her his wife.

Smiling softly at such a wonderful thought, Haldir lost himself in a plethora of daydreams as he absently stroked the valley between her soft breasts. When he heard her sharp intake of breath, he immediately found himself back in reality.

"Haldir…" she murmured, sounding tired as she turned to face him, "why are you not asleep?"

Haldir studied her worried eyes as he felt her gently brush a few strands of his light hair away from his face and back behind his ear. Her hand then proceeded to pass over his ear and came to a resting place on the side of his face, leaving a tingling trail in its wake.

"Worries," he answered hoarsely. "Nothing more."

Her glowing eyes were suddenly sympathetic as she surveyed his situation. "Haldir, you of all people should know how to put your work aside for the night. Your problems can wait until tomorrow," she whispered, rubbing her callused thumb across his cheek.

A feeling of warmth passed through his body as she looked at him with a soft sparkle in her eyes. Belegwen cared about him—cared about how he felt tomorrow and what was bothering him now. It made him happy to have someone who could comfort him, which helped his thoughts stray away from the battle and more towards the elleth before him.

Leaning forward, he closed his eyes and gave her a soft peck on her lips before laying back down on his pillow and watching her again. Then, the words started to fall from his lips without his permission. "Belegwen… I…"

He wanted to tell her so badly as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted their situation to be different, what he wished to ask of the Lady at the end of all this chaos, how afraid he was that this might be their last night together…

How much he loved her.

Then again, by the way she was looking right back at him, perhaps she already knew.

"Haldir," she said in an even softer voice than before. "Wait until morning."

Then, gently taking his head in her hands, she guided it onto her breasts comfortably, stroking his hair once more after he had settled in. He felt his new cushion rise and fall gently while he wrapped his arms around her body, caressing her sides with reverence. He could hear her heart beating steadily in her chest; he focused on listening to that and slowly pushed all other thoughts from his head.

"Sleep," she whispered. "Sleep."

And sleep he did.

OOOOOOO

When the two finally stopped moving and he was certain that they were asleep, Rumil gently closed the door to Haldir's flet that he had opened a while ago and stood staring at the doorknob in silence for the longest time.

It could not be…but it was.

What a fool he had been—this was under his nose the whole time and he had not noticed it until now! Everything made so much more sense when he thought of it this way: the fading, the arguing, the concern for each other's well-being, the mistrust over his friendship with Belegwen… The list went on and on!

The thought of Haldir condemning him for having a relationship with a guard member smacked him in the face suddenly. The hypocrite! How dare he give a long-winded speech on such things when it was he who was actually carrying out the actions! Confused and more than a little hurt, Rumil chose to take a run to try to get rid of his frustrations.

As he made his way down the stairs and out the door all he could think about was how Haldir was breaking the rules. This was not like him at all—Haldir was not one to flirt with chance, or elleths for that matter, so how in the world had all of this happened?

Of course he already knew the answer to that question.

Haldir had seemingly little to no interest in normal elleths; they simply bored him with their gossip. No, Haldir loved nothing more than his post and position in Lothlorien and needed someone to share that with. Who better than Belegwen, who felt the same way? Who better than Belegwen, who spent her entire day in his presence?

Really, it was quite obvious. How had he missed this before?

That was obvious too; one would not expect the highest commanding officer in the Golden Wood to be breaking the rules that he worked so hard to enforce. Rumil could only imagine what sort of mental battle Haldir had fought before forging the illicit relationship with Belegwen. Haldir was a strict rule keeper and such actions did not fit in within his normal personality.

Had Belegwen changed him?

Rumil doubted that as he silently rounded a corner and jogged into a stone-paved garden. Belegwen was not the rule-breaking sort either. After all, there had been so much prejudice about her being in the guard—she knew she could not afford to make any mistakes because many of the wardens would have immediately reported any false steps with the hope of getting her removed. Indeed, Belegwen always treaded with care, no matter what the task at hand.

Perhaps the whole situation was simply too much for him to comprehend.

He imagined that this was the most truthful thought he had come by all night.

No longer willing to think about something that confused him, Rumil stopped thinking and strictly focused on the burning in his thighs as he put one foot in front of the other to a steady rhythm.

OOOOOOO

It's short, I know, but hopefully it's better than nothing. I really hope you liked it despite it's length. I must ask one small favor—if you know the correct spelling of ellith and ellon, could you please give it to me? I've seen them spelled several different ways and I'd really like to know the correct way, as well as the correct plurals for both words.

Thank you again for your time. Please have a fantastic day!

-P.G.


	35. Chapter 35: Leave Taking

Welcome back to TBFF! I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of the readers and reviewers who enjoyed Chapter 34. I'm overjoyed that people are still enjoying the fic, even after all this time. Please enjoy my latest installment.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything associated with Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and will not make any money off my writing.

ooOoo

**To Be Forever Faithful**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

Chapter 35: Leave-Taking

_Haldir's eyes opened. Above him was a plethora of golden leaves; the shine of the sun reflected off their glittery edges and nearly blinded him with their bright sheen. The tips of the lowest leaves brushed across his face, leaving a light tickling sensation. The wind that blew roughly through their midst lightly chilled his face._

_He could not move. Panic immediately filled Haldir's heart as he tried to pull his arms and legs away from the talan floor. He could not seem to get them away from the uncomfortable positions they were sprawled in. Even his head would not turn; it too was stuck to the floor rather unceremoniously. When his lips failed to move while trying to call for help, Haldir knew he was in trouble._

_All he had were his eyes and they moved back and forth vigorously, trying to check for any danger that might be surrounding him. Now the world around him felt a little too calm and a little too quiet for his liking. Something was afoot—he didn't know how he knew it, but he did._

_An indefinite amount of time passed where Haldir just laid on the ground, fully alert and poised for action, should his mysterious paralysis wear off. Knowing better than to relax, Haldir waited patiently for something to happen._

_He was not disappointed. A while later, the sound of nearly silent steps could be heard from the other side of the talan. Haldir tensed up a bit, not knowing how he would defend himself if attacked._

_A shadow crawled across his face, blocking the sun. For a moment, he could not see the face in the shade, but then it became all too clear._

_Orophin._

_He was staring at Orophin._

_His brother did not look like his normal self. Usually, his face had a casual, carefree nature to it. Now, it was darkened with malice. Upon seeing a malevolent gleam in his eyes, Haldir tried to move again._

_He couldn't escape. The invisible bonds held him tightly and he could not free himself. Blood pumped through his veins faster as the face came towards him._

_Orophin knelt down beside him and his stringy blonde hair brushed Haldir's cheeks. His face came closer and closer to his own. Haldir tried to roll away several times, but he was stuck!_

_Then, as a hand clutched his neck harshly, eerily soft words were whispered in his ear._

"_You are not coming home, Haldir. Not coming-"_

"Home!" Haldir abruptly said as he shot into a sitting position.

After a quick glance around the darkened room, he realized he had merely been dreaming. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath to relax himself.

A warm hand brushed his side and lingered there. Haldir turned around and looked into Belegwen's questioning eyes, which were now as aware as his own. He still felt a bit shaken from his dream though and chose to lie back down beside her in silence.

He stared at the darkened ceiling for a long time, while thoughts concerning his dream scurried through his head. Vaguely, he felt her worn fingers turning circles upon his chest.

"Was it a dream?" he heard her ask.

"Yes," he whispered, still staring straight ahead, as if entranced by the ceiling.

"Do you wish to speak of it?"

"Nay," he replied, feeling numb, as if he were a human freezing in the cold.

It made no sense at all, this new obsession of his with the deceased. Had the lady's mirror truly haunted him so much that he could not get the image out of his thoughts? Was he truly predicting his own death or had all the tension of the impending battle inspired a fit of madness within him?

When one was as old as he, there were very few things one did not understand. However, this was truly beyond his comprehension. It was beyond the lady's as well. He doubted that any soul could actually interpret such a vision and he was frightened by such knowledge.

His dreams for the future all seemed very far away now and out of his reach.

Belegwen was out of his reach.

"It is almost daybreak," she murmured suddenly, interrupting his thought process. "This is all so sudden."

Haldir pursed his lips for a second before replying. "Indeed."

"While I shall gladly accept my duty to the lord and lady, I am not ready to leave this talan, nor this bed."

Haldir felt his heart hardening, as he knew it would when it came time to part ways. It was a method of self-preservation at this point, as he knew that too much thought on love would only inhibit his battle skills.

"Alas, our duty is not to ourselves, but to others; to the weak, who cannot defend themselves and to this land, where our race has both thrived and dwindled. Our calling is clear and it is time for us to put that which is between us aside."

He heard her take a deep breath against him, before she replied rather darkly. "Indeed."

Gently, he pulled away from her and rose from the bed. Clad in darkness, he cleaned himself off and then slowly started to dress for the journey. As he went to put on his armor, a hand stilled his own.

Piece by piece, Belegwen carefully attired him. Each piece was placed on him and tightened to perfection as she worked in silence. When he was fully clad, she directed him onto his knees and brushed his hair, stroke by stroke, until it was smooth as satin. Then, she took his golden stands and wove them into tight warrior braids; the type that were strong enough to stay in for weeks at a time, if necessary.

He knew that everything she did for him was done out of love.

Unrequited love.

Her actions made him feel very selfish, for she could show him everything she felt without words, yet he could not say what she needed to hear. How could he not have seen it before? Belegwen would not simply say how she felt. She was generally a private elleth who only held a few friends close to herself. Even fewer were the ones she chose to trust. It was not her way to make declarations of love.

Instead, she chose to show him. She did not need words to convey what she felt. It was all said in the tenderness of her actions and the gentleness of her hands.

How selfish he was, to keep his own feelings so closely to himself. Did she not deserve the same courtesy in return? Why could he not bring himself to say those three tiny words?

He knew very well why. It would complicate things and make their separation even harder than it already would be.

What if he did not survive and she knew how he had felt for her? It might kill her too.

He found that thought unbearable.

It was with much regret that Haldir decided to wait; it was not a good time for such a declaration, no matter how much he wanted to make it. Logic had always been placed before his heart in the past and he saw no reason to discontinue doing so now. It was in her best interest for him to wait and so wait he would.

Trying his best not to think of the situation any longer, Haldir simply stopped thinking about it and took a moment to enjoy the sensation of her braiding his hair. It was over much too quickly.

Ready to face all of Arda, Haldir turned to face her one more time. He caught her eyes for a moment before she looked down at the floor dejectedly. Frowning at the dark look he had seen upon her face, he softened for a moment and took her hands in his own, holding them loosely betwixt their tense bodies.

He did not know how long they stood there with a heavy silence burdening them; it could have been mere minutes or perhaps decades. All he could feel was the seriousness of what had passed between them and concern for what was yet to come.

Her hold on his hands abruptly tightened, causing him to look directly at her. She stared back, her eyes filled with an intensity that almost frightened him.

"This is not goodbye," she whispered deeply, her voice filled with emotion.

Haldir returned her squeeze with vigor. "No," he said quietly, then leaned down and kissed her lightly on her brow. "It is not."

Then, with a swirl of his cape, Haldir turned and exited his room before he lost his nerve. He had a duty to carry out and he could not let these emotions get in the way of it.

ooOoo

Chaos was the only word that could accurately summarize the situation in Caras Galadhon.

Normally, Belegwen would not have associated such a word with the Elven lifestyle, as it was a contradiction at the very least. Today was not a typical day in Elven life though and it clearly showed by the sheer amount of elves in the streets, preparing for their leave-taking.

While the crowd was not wild or out of sorts, as a crowd of men would have been, the streets of the city were not made for so many people, horses, and wagons. Elleths were flitting through the crowd of wardens, filling travel packs and desperately clinging to those whom they cared for dearly.

Belegwen found she was very happy that there were many things for her to do, as she knew her thoughts about Haldir and the last night they spent together would drive her to lunacy if she was left alone with them. He had gotten so cold that morning and she did not know how to deal with the way he shut himself away from her. She knew he had done it to get his head back into his duty, but it had hurt her to not have a proper goodbye the way the other wardens were.

Therefore, she sat in one of the many packed wagons working and trying her best to ignore the heartfelt goodbyes that were taking place in the street. She checked off the items on her inventory sheet one by one while Linedhel, the healer who would be traveling with them to Helm's Deep, checked for each item she listed.

Linedhel was a very stern elf who always looked serious and ready to work; the type who seemed as though he never had a bit of fun. He was the obvious choice for the journey, however, as he had been a trained warden before studying healing.

"The black alder leaves are not here; I shall go request them from Eltirwen. Wait here," he said, sounding annoyed with himself for having made a small mistake. Belegwen watched as he stormed off into the crowd.

Belegwen sighed and hopped off the wagon, looking through the multitude for a familiar face. A few wardens stopped and asked for directions to the ranks and she gave them, sending them deeper into the host of Eldar.

Alone once more, she quietly wondered what Haldir was doing. She had not seen him at all since they had woken up. She had a feeling that he was with Lord Celeborn going over last minute details and reviewing strategies before they left.

Next to her, quiet goodbyes were going on between a father and his grown daughter, an elleth Belegwen had once known. 'Miriel,' she thought to herself as she watched her hug and kiss her father with tears in her eyes. 'Her name is Miriel.'

They had been friends once, a long time ago when she was still an elfling living with her parents. Back then, she had dressed up dolls with her, long before she had dreamt of joining the guard.

The friendship had not lasted more than ten years after her parents' passing. No one had wanted to be friends with the elleth who wished she was an elf. Still, the few memories she had of her childhood innocence were cherished, as she remembered being quite happy with her family during her first years of life.

She frowned as she watched tears flow freely from Miriel's eyes. Belegwen turned away, as it was more than she could bear. Despair lingered in the air of the street like the stench of orcs, piled and burning. While she had tried her best to ignore it, it was still there, lurking everywhere she looked.

Though all of the elves were well-trained, all knew and understood the perils of war. All were aware that any number of them may not return from this long journey. For some, this would be their last goodbye.

Wearily, Belegwen found herself thinking of her own parents and what they would have thought of her going off to war like this. She could not imagine them approving of her actions, though she found them necessary. Their untimely deaths had sparked within her a great need to protect those who could not defend themselves, even at the cost of her own life.

She was the last member of her family still living. If she died, they would all be gone. It would be as if they had never been-

"Commander Belegwen?" a voice asked, accompanied by a touch to her shoulder.

Belegwen drew in a quick breath and looked up to see Heledhril's emerald eyes shining down on her. He did not ask her if she was all right, but she could tell just by the look on his face that he was concerned about her.

"Yes, Heledhril?" she asked back, feeling thankful that her voice was not laced with emotion as she had feared it to be.

"Lord Celeborn has asked to see you. He is waiting for you at the entrance to the lady's eastern gardens," he said, pointing down the street towards the entrance that was lined with blue and white blossoms. Indeed, the Lord of Lorien was standing there; his eyes met Belegwen's and gave her a gentle nod.

"Will you stay here in my stead and finish the inventory with Linedhel?" Belegwen asked, looking uncertainly from her list to the gate again.

"Certainly, Commander. Show me where you left off," he said, taking the list and quill from her outstretched hands.

"We are on black alder. Linedhel went to fetch some; I imagine he will be back shortly."

Heledhril nodded and gave her a small bow as she started on her way. Belegwen weaved through the crowd patiently, a little worried about the reception she was about to receive from the lord who might as well have been a second father to her.

After struggling through many elves who had not moved out of the way for her, Belegwen found herself face to face with Lord Celeborn. Today, the lord was dressed in white robes that had been spun with silver threads, giving them a bright sheen in the early morning light. Green leaves were embroidered the breasts of the robes, also shiny with hints of silver.

Belegwen smiled at him when she arrived in front of him. "My lord," she said in greeting, quickly going down on one knee as was expected of a warden.

"Belegwen," he replied, touching her shoulder gently. Though she was not looking at him, she knew he was frowning. He did not like for her to bend down before him, though they both knew her duty called her to.

Slowly, she stood up and met her lord's eyes. He looked amused for a second, but then his face fell once again. Belegwen immediately found herself worried about the tidings this meeting would bring.

"Walk with me," he said, offering her his arm. She took it gingerly and fell into step with him as they entered the softly lighted haven of plants. They walked in silence, Belegwen taking in all the sights as they circled around on the path. The air was still a bit misty even with the first rays of the sun shining down through the mellyrn. Taller bushes full of buds and blossoms rose out of the morning mist, facing the sun as if greeting a long lost friend.

"Galadriel has seen more in her mirror; the shadow grows in Mordor even as we speak. They are putting together an army there, one that will be much larger than we have anticipated."

Belegwen stopped walking and looked Celeborn straight in the eye. "What are you trying to say, my lord?"

Celeborn looked away and the shadow of a mallorn tree darkened his face. "Our chances of winning this battle are low. Even with those from Imladris and the Edain, our numbers are still marginal in comparison to the host that will be awaiting us. Do not let it become common knowledge, but I fear this is not a battle we can win."

"Why do you still send us then?" Belegwen asked softly, trying not to let fear enter her heart.

"They will be massacred without us," Celeborn said, his eyes glittering with sadness. "There are women and children there too, babies even. The orcs and uruk-hai will not give them a second glance before removing them from this world."

"We go to give them hope," Belegwen whispered, more to herself than to Celeborn. "I understand."

She watched as Celeborn stared at the stone pathway for a while. Belegwen knew what was coming, but stayed quiet nonetheless as she watched him contemplate the words he would say.

Celeborn's sadness seemed to grow as he looked up at her. Gently, he put his hands on her shoulders and sighed. "You know I wish you would stay. I will not ask you though, as I already know your answer."

Belegwen smiled as she saw tears form in his eyes. "It is my honor and my privilege to fight for the freedom of this world. It is my duty, my lord, and I cannot turn my back on it. It gladdens me that you finally understand."

"Long have I wished that you would be another Celebrian to me, a little elleth to look after. Alas, it was not meant to be and I should not have expected it of you, my dear. Can you forgive me, my lady?" he asked sincerely, looking as though he truly needed to hear the answer. He opened his arms to her.

Smiling, she gently leaned into his warm arms and cherished the feeling of being embraced. "There is nothing to forgive," she murmured into his delicate satin robes.

He pulled her a bit tighter against him, causing his silver tresses to tickle Belegwen's nose as she breathed in his soft cologne, which smelled like the pine trees of the northern lands. "I love you," he said gruffly, his voice filled with emotion. "Do be careful and know that you will never be far from my thoughts."

"I will," Belegwen said softly, her lips moving against his arm before she pulled away to look him in the eyes. This was the elf who had all but taken her departed father's place. He had given her a home when she had nowhere else to go and had schooled her in the ways of the elves. No one had cared for her as much as Celeborn had for the majority of her life.

"I shall do my best to return to you," she said, giving his hand one last squeeze before totally letting go of him.

Celeborn was blinking away tears. "Go now. You should go find your spot in the formation; I will be there in a little while to send you off."

Belegwen bowed to him, before looking upon him one last time. "Goodbye, my lord."

"Goodbye," he answered emotionally, turning away from her so she would not see his tears. Quietly, she turned away and slowly walked out of the garden, only turning back once at the gates to savor the beauty of it for what she thought might be the very last time.

ooOoo

Rumil watched Haldir, his eyes scrutinizing his every move, waiting for the signal. The moment Haldir's fist went over his heart, Rumil copied the pose, as did every warden standing in the ranks outside the city.

A sizable gathering stood around their formation, watching in silence as they simultaneously bowed their heads for the prayer his lord was about to bestow upon them.

Rumil closed his eyes and let the words of Lord Celeborn wash over him like a fresh spring rain. "Great and wise Valar, you have blessed this world with many gifts. Our wardens march to defend these gifts today.

"Tulkas, please send them strength and intelligence in war. Stay with our wardens and guide them to make the right strategic choices so that they might return once more to their homes in Lorien.

"Orome, please guide the hunts of our wardens and help them to catch nourishing food when it is needed. Also, give them the speed to travel the long distance to their destination in a timely manner.

"In the same way, Yavanna, please provide our wardens with the fruits and vegetables they need for nourishment along the way. The health of our wardens is important to their performance while protecting Middle Earth.

"Este, please help our wardens find safe places to relax and relieve themselves of their many burdens for short periods of time. Wipe their weariness away so they might fully concentrate on the goal before them.

"Nienna, please comfort our wardens and give them hope, both in life and in death, if fate so chooses. Please also send hope to the wardens' loved ones, who will await their arrival patiently from Lorien.

"Varda, please light the path of our wardens, by day with the sun and by night with the stars. Please shine light on their foes so they might be seen more clearly.

"And Manwe, please bless their journey and help the wardens succeed in protecting all that you and the Valar strove to create whilst in our world. Guide them in the ways of light and help them fulfill their destinies under the watchful eyes of Iluvatar, for we are his people and wish to protect all that he has blessed us with. Many thanks be to those in Valinor!"

"Aye!" replied the voices of every elf and elleth in the valley.

All heads rose up amongst the ranks. Rumil's eyes immediately returned to Haldir, awaiting further instruction. He watched as Haldir bowed before the lord and lady, as was traditional during a leave-taking ceremony. Haldir then returned to the front of the ranks and nodded at Belegwen, who nodded back in tradition to signify that the ranks were ready for departure.

Rumil watched as the two interchanged with one another, but was disappointed when he saw no hint of feelings or immorality between them. He silently concluded that they must be excellent thespians, accustomed to hiding their feelings. This made sense, as he knew Haldir rarely ever expressed his personal emotions. Rumil knew that Belegwen was the same. After all, she had kept her immense suffering over Haldir a secret until he had coaxed it out of her four fortnights after he stormed off to the borders.

Idly, Rumil wondered exactly how long this romance had been going on between the two. Had that been why Belegwen received the honor of being second in command?

Rumil could hardly bear the thought of Haldir giving out such a prominent position in return for sexual favors. It was unlike him to do anything that was not to the advantage of Lorien. Indeed, he did not think Haldir would do such a thing.

Still, there was something there. Rumil needed to know what had happened between them to create this sort of relationship. He also wanted to know how serious they felt about each other. Perhaps the need of comfort had been the only thing that brought them together…

…or perhaps not. Rumil did not know, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. He knew that if anyone else saw what he had witnessed the previous night, all the evils of Mordor would be set loose amid the elves.

Rumil grimaced as they started to march forward upon Haldir's command. Thus, Rumil knew his journey across the lands of Arda would be torture, as his mind was filled with horrific accusations and fears about his brother and friend. He could not rid himself of them and knew he would not until he acquired some answers.

ooOoo

Celeborn watched with fear in his heart as the ranks of wardens marched away from them bravely towards the borders of the Lorien woods. Many of them had been his students at one point in time. He had watched them grow up centuries and millennia ago.

He knew Galadriel could feel his desolation. A moment later her hand gently slid into his own. Then, her murmured words echoed through his head.

"There is hope yet, Celeborn. Do not despair."

They stood in silence for a time, watching as the last of the wardens climbed and disappeared behind the highest of hills. As they watched his head disappear over the hilltop, Celeborn knew what information his wife was waiting to hear.

"I did not tell her," he replied to her unspoken question. He felt greater hopelessness upon admitting this, as he still was not certain if he made the right choice.

"Sometimes it is best to let things take their natural course," she replied, this time out loud.

Together, they stood and watched the gathering of elves disperse amongst the forest paths, which led back to their grand city. Once everyone had left them, Galadriel laid one of her pale hands upon his cheek.

"When the time comes, my love, she will not fail them. It is her destiny," Galadriel said, peering into his eyes serenely.

"Her destiny is accompanied by the fall of another," Celeborn whispered, knowing that she would understand the other side of his fear.

"Nothing is certain yet," she said, then brushed her lips against his cheek. "Hope is not lost."

"I will not stop fretting over this until they have returned safely to Lorien," Celeborn replied while stroking her hand with his thumb.

"Nor will I," she replied, looking towards the high path once again as if to see the wardens returning already. "Nor will I."

ooOoo

How was it? Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. I admit, it was easy to return to writing this story, since I've envisioned it in my head for years. However, I feel out of practice stylistically. I've been writing Harry Potter fanfiction for the last few years, which requires much less formal wording. Any opinions or suggestions from readers would be greatly welcome.

Thanks for reading!

-P.G.


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